Suicide... I pray not

[Nick9]

get some sun
take walks
eat right

we all get bored but maybe better days will come

Holland, I am afraid depression and boredom are quite different things.

[Nick9]

Hi SadSilence, how are you today?

[SadSilence]

Depressed, a deep feeling of gratitude and a heavy heart. You?

[Nick9]

I remember how happy I was when I got out from the depression. When it came back several weeks ago, out of the blue, without any warning signs and in full force within one minute, I panicked. It seems like this disease IS a long run thing and you better be aware of that and try to mentally prepare.

From my experience the low times are followed by better days, just to go back to bad ones.

Try to see the light that WILL come when the bad days will end. It may not be in a week, but it will happen. Even for you
If you look back, I am sure you will find something that you liked. It may be just wink or look from someone you like, or something you have read and liked.

I was surprised how strong gratitude I felt the other day, when I remembered that I shouldn't have been here for the last several months. It suddenly seemed so pointless to commit suicide.

All that would have happened were several broken people and me not being here to witness those little nice things. I hadn't thought about my family AT ALL at that time. Suddenly, it was not my priority. It was like I was somebody else for several hours a day.

Believe that the real you is not the person who you feel to be during the low times. The real you is hidden there inside you and one day, maybe in a month, maybe later, someone will come, someone who will cherish what he sees in you. I already do

My heart leaps everytime I see you online, I wish you posted more I like to read what you have to say.

[Gizzie]

SadSilence, please dont give into your depression.
You have a magical way with words. You have a talent, you should nurture and share it with the world.
I also think that the way you write shows how sensitive/ delicate you are and all the more reason why the world seems a tougher place for you right now.

I wish I could tell you that things will all get better.
I have been down and suicidal in the past, and was feeling much much better for the past few years.

Unfortunately though, I am going through a bit of a relapse myself, and am being sent to see a doctor tomorrow as a precautionary measure.

Depression is a sickness. It's no ones fault and as much as you try to avoid it, sometimes, you just have to take it easy and let your body and mind heal itself.
Medication is not the only solution, but reaching out for help is important.

My life changed after i found out that life doesnt have to be lived the way the majority of people live it and expect it to be for you too.
I hope that you will be able to find people that can show you that and help you look forward to keeping on living life.

[James]

There are more than one of us here who understand the pain that overcomes the will to live, there are also those of us here who have lost someone to suicide which made us question ourselves, the "what ifs", I still miss my friends and still ask why they couldn't ask me for help even subtley.
Please know that the friends you make here are real people and their concern in genuine, coping skills get better the more live experiance "we"get, mean while if you feel alone I can't get help come here and talk, make new friends, find people who care, James

[HollandofFrance]

the depressed dont get enough sun or vitamin d and you get the vitamin d from the sun, even on cloudy days

the vit d also clears up acne i think

[Nick9]

the depressed dont get enough sun or vitamin d and you get the vitamin d from the sun, even on cloudy days

the vit d also clears up acne i think

I don't know about depression and vit D, so I can't comment on that one. But I know that during my lows I had never even noticed the sun above my head. I thought several feet under the ground was a great place to be.

But SadSilence, try everything you can (I mean the sun, not the ... you know)

[fenris]

Vitamine D helps a lot.... but the body need sun to use it.

[zeon]

I'm confessing to something that I probably shouldn't... But I'm going to so someone can know.

Suicide.... The thoughts are getting more intense. The..... Plans are forming, a simple way. Slow, but simple and easy. I want to run away and hide from everyone, so no one can seee my weakness. To see how weak I truely am, I've tried, I've given warning signs. Talking about death, talking about my death, how short coming it can be. Withdrawing... But no one seems to notice, not anyone who is physically near me anyways. I'm afraid to go to bed. I'm afraid that tonight it may pass, thoughts into reality.... I'm afraid but longing it. To see the world slowly fade in my eyes. I'm weak and hopeless... No one does anything, just passes it off as a phase.

Hello Sadsilence,
Suicide is never the answer to anything in life... In life there is always something to hold onto something to long for and working at it brings it closer to your reality.. You have been on this forum for a short period however the impact you have had on people has been tremendous to be honest and loads of forum users show some compassion to wanting to help and guide you along the way as I do as the resident Agony Aunt of gayspeak.. I could witter on how at a tender age of 18 my world fell apart 800 miles from home and I felt like ending it but i wont because I know inside you you are going to eventually grow into something beautiful who will show so much love and devotion to someone special in this world and make them one of the happiest people alive... These abusers in your life are too drug fucked to reckonise the problems arising. Planning death is never a good idea despite the 5000+ methods of doing it (yes i found a website which guides step by step on this and some are horriffic). I think it would be better for you to keep posting as many posts as you need to do in order to find some comfort here and a place you can vent and allow some of your motion to be off loaded. In life you get one stab in this body so what needs to happen is the most of it needs to be made.. Your dreams and ambitions within life will come true if you persue them dont let life control you hunni you control life and remember when something gets to you please come to the one place you are completely safe and have a voice to speak and a set of ears to listen..... Gayspeak

Kindest regards and big hugz

aunty zeon x