suicide.... Its time to talk.... Somethings may be disturbing... Prewarned

[zeon]

Hello All,
I want to open up a thread about suicide. It is something that alot of GLBT people often contimplate at some time within their life and it is something that we all should be able to understand and help one another not only on gayspeak but also in our own unique lives with the people around us... A huge factor of the community at some point suffer with some form of hurdles along lifes path....
Alot of people tend to commit suicide due to some form of depression within life because they feel lost empty and unable to live for anything or anyone... Whether this be a loved one dying or a hurdle within life which has caused too much grief for the indivudual to cope... About 30 miles from where I live in a small town known as Eastbourne there is a nortorious cliff edge known as Beachy head and suicides here have been so frequent that there is now a 24 hour watch along the coast to try to save the lives of people... Just after i moved into where I live a driver drove off the cliffs and plunged to his death 330ft below onto rocks. Alot of people dont tend to think of the scars both mental and possible physical from whoever finds them as someone has to clean the mess that a indivudual has left behind after ending something I personally regard as a tremendous gift. Life is too short and recently i have had a few issues in my life where i thought to myself is it worth going on.... Yes it bloody well is despite the fact that my relationship has been damaged thanks to drugs I am going to stand and fight for what I beleive in and if any members here at some point or another feel that their life isnt worth going on you have to consider the fact that things will get easier within time... Life isnt granted to be exited before your time because it is one of the most precious things we have on this planet. Regardless whetheryour a person, an animal or even an insect its something that is granted to be lived until expired...
I have often read up on people who have taken their own life usually because a relationship has broken down and one thing that has touched my heart and made me feel sorrow for the family is that of the blinded police officer who Roal Moat shot. Not only did he loose his eyes and be constantly haunted by the problems from that day but his wife left him and he was loosing all aspects of his life feeling very lonley and depressed... He had his own tweeter account and on his final tweet he posted three letters RIP... Soon after he was discovered hanged and his family are suffering as a result of a guy who not only killed innocent people but also eventually took the life of someone who was just going to work doing his job and experiencing his world fall apart...
If anyone ever experiences someone in trouble why not take five minutes out of your life to just to talk with them and help them out anyway which you can because regardless of the situation and serious of it... One day it may be too much to cope and they could fade away... I have often spoken to random people who are distraught in situations arising from relationship break ups to friends contimplating walking infront of a car who have had bad backgrounds. No one on this planet is perfect we are all though unique and this unique life we lead is one we celebrate everyday by being ourselves and try to enjoy it to the fulliest anyway we can... All it needs is a little ray of light to shine through and that tiny ray is the start of something beautiful that overtime will be expanded to something beautiful beyond reach and something a indivual could once upon a time only dreamt of..
As i said a moment before if anyone experiences someone in trouble with themselves why not help because I personally beleive in Karma and through this karma will repay you back in ways you wouldnt imagen whether it be a stroke of luck and finding some money in the street or being able to get the property/car you have always wanted...

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon x

[Nick9]

Thank you zeon.

I must admit that I had never reacted to posts about suicide before I experienced it myself.
And there is still a lot of things that I don't feel like comment, because I am not sure what to say.

I know someone who suffered hallucinations. He kept saying that he can't go to the room, because something bad is there and "they" stand in the corner. I believed him 100%, but I had no idea what to say or how to help. The hard part was that I was the only person who was available to give any help.

Later, we were told that it was caused by physical disease, that somehow disbalanced I don't know what and momentarily caused serious hallucinations and depression.

I have also read about people who cut themselves to find some release from the stress. Although I CAN understand their motives and what they feel, I don't know how to help.

I was surprised how much helped me to hear You are worth it, I would miss you, You make me laugh.... You know? Even from people over the internet who didn't know me well. I knew they didn't know me well, but I simply needed to hear it. It helped me to get through the worst minutes and I got back to those PMs again later and read them over and over.

Those were my happiest moment when someone told me so simple things. Those words kept me at my laptop and didn't allow me to get up and do something stupid.

When it came back not long ago, I absolutely selfishly and shamelessly came here and asked for a pat on my shoulder to get better. And I got it

I guess the reason why I write about it is, when you don't know how to help, say at least those words, don't stand aside and don't assume that someone else do it.

I hadn't believed before that it could make any difference. I assure everyone, it can make a HUGE difference.

[zeon]

Hello Nick,
Firstly your welcome for thanking me on this post... Every now and then its good to open a new thread ona subject that i see as too frequent and have a thought on how to go about discussing it. You say you dont like to comment because you dont know how to say it well if it is affecting your life in a way you feel like it cant be mentioned then say it as it is its cruel on yourself not to open up when needed... There are people in life who will listen and give support where required... A few members on here who i text on my mobile would possibly find themselves in a situation they may not find a way out by now if they didnt get things off their mind to some random stranger on the other end of the internet/mobile.
In the event of someone halluciating i would recommend maybe taking a photograph of the room with a time and date and show them that no one is in there.. Furthermore ask them what they are seeing inside the room... If it helps assure them if they want you will go in there with them as some guidance and reassurance and to focus and listen to your voice...
With regards to those who cut i am an ex self harmer... People regard it as a mental issue and my wounds are deep to the point that they change colours depending on the seasons (purple in summer and pinkish/????) in winter as i refused stitches... People self harm nick because there is a saying many people dont understand and that is pain covers pain and as a result what they feel inside is taken away and relieved by causing physical pain.. It isnt a mental issue its a medical issue i find as it helped me avoid any suicidial moments in my 18 months of depression and you could help by telling the person in question that firstly your not there to judge them or condone what they done regardless of issue as this could make them feel lower... Give the person in question a hug and tell them that you will work with them to get them back to where they are and this can be achieved as long as they open up and talk about whats on their mind... Assure them your not going to go to the police and get them sectioned as many people would rather be dead than sectioned and i beleive people can overcome demons by a bit of 121 guidance in life from someone they feel they can trust in their life... In this instance nick the person would be you... After seeing affects of positiveness happen you will feel a damn sight better inside... I created a motto inside i use when talking to people about self harm and that is

Positive attitude = positive results...

Regardless whether someone knows someone or not it is always nice to hear kind hearted words from a random stranger as this is better than nothing at all and it helps build a potential friendship and trust in someone and helps them guide on their life.. Of course if you have esxperienced issues they are relating to it helps to talk about those and almost compare notes and explain how you as a potential contimplating suicidal person overcame what you were feeling and lived to tell the tale... This is why i often talk about my past experiences with those on here who make threads but i keep mine alot shorter than theirs as the post is about them not me and the same goes when helping someone in life nick mention small drops of your life to those who you know are suffering the same as you and if they ask questions answer them truthfully and honestly...

I wouldnt say you were selfish to ask for a pat on the shoulder and a well done sticker i would say its more of recognising your achievements for the fact that you have achieved a demon within and come out the other side escaping it.. I would do the same to be honest and after my depression spell of 18 months the first thing i did was head to mcdonalds and buy two fish burger meals and large banana flavoured milkshakes to start putting weight back on as id lost a huge amount...

Kindest regards

Aunty zeon x

[Nick9]

You say you dont like to comment because you dont know how to say it well if it is affecting your life in a way you feel like it cant be mentioned then say it as it is its cruel on yourself not to open up when needed... There are people in life who will listen and give support where required... A few members on here who i text on my mobile would possibly find themselves in a situation they may not find a way out by now if they didnt get things off their mind to some random stranger on the other end of the internet/mobile.

thank you for splitting it into more paragraphs, it is easier to read on a wide screen.
What I meant was, that I understand when people don't react and I wanted them to encourage to say at least something.
But at the same time I admit that I feel lost when someone needs help and I don't know nothing about his particular problem.

In the event of someone halluciating i would recommend maybe taking a photograph of the room with a time and date and show them that no one is in there.. Furthermore ask them what they are seeing inside the room... If it helps assure them if they want you will go in there with them as some guidance and reassurance and to focus and listen to your voice...

Well, we figured it out after all, we simply had to. The pills and then the cure of the physical disease helped more than my support though. The picture wouldn't have helped, we both were at the room and he saw "them" anyway.

With regards to those who cut i am an ex self harmer... People regard it as a mental issue and my wounds are deep to the point that they change colours depending on the seasons (purple in summer and pinkish/????) in winter as i refused stitches... People self harm nick because there is a saying many people dont understand and that is pain covers pain and as a result what they feel inside is taken away and relieved by causing physical pain.. It isnt a mental issue its a medical issue i find as it helped me avoid any suicidial moments in my 18 months of depression

I am sorry that you went through that. I guess we may be a bit similar - we are both trying to give something back as a Thank you that we are still here. It was Zet's post about his problems, what made me come from hiding to posting...
And that's why I like Bowyn Aerrow's posts.

and you could help by telling the person in question that firstly your not there to judge them or condone what they done regardless of issue as this could make them feel lower... Give the person in question a hug and tell them that you will work with them to get them back to where they are and this can be achieved as long as they open up and talk about whats on their mind... Assure them your not going to go to the police and get them sectioned as many people would rather be dead than sectioned

Yeah, that was a real threat for me too.

[Rainbowmum]

Thank you aunty.
This subject is way overdue, for the life of me , I do not understand why the is subject is so taboo.

I would love to see a world wide school program , that teaches about warning signs.
As a parent , I do not take the subject lightly.

I will do everything I can to save a life , at times I feel that I don't do enough.
It breaks mt heart , to see people struggling with their emotions , feeling all alone, while they drift endlessly in an unmerciful ocean of despair without hope.

It breaks my heart.

[XRIMO]

The thing about suicide/attempted suicide is the utter feeling of hopelessness and despair (and I speak from experience). I was there once, I had a night that I couldn't stand the sight of myself, I couldn't believe that anyone in the world cared, I felt that my life was completely pointless and any further living was futile. I swallowed a bottle of aspirin in my depressed state... fortunately for me, my body pretty well rejected the pills and I did not end that day.

This was just a bit over a year ago. Only a few people know of this, I think this is my first post actually talking about it. I feel I have moved on from it. It took nearly a whole year for me to break out of the depression I was in. While I have now come to know that there are people out there who care for me, there are moments I catch myself having to stop thinking negatively about myself as a person.

I've had my own experiences in life, nothing horrifying mind you, but mostly it was just the apathy of loneliness I succumbed to. When you feel trapped and unable to love or be loved, it makes the light of hope fade into a deep black darkness. I had to make a decision for myself whether or not my life was worth living, whether or not I wanted to be happy or sad. I chose that happiness is better than sadness. Even for all the kindness I was shown by my friends, family, therapist, and members here. Kindness alone didn't make the darkness vanish for me since it was so much self-inflicted and I had to be kind to myself.

I still feel a bit misanthropic, but I have been trying more to talk to people and perhaps be turned away from the 'hatred' I felt for others and myself. I have been doing much better in the last few months and I want to continue that.

My advice for anyone suffering from suicidal thoughts: you are your own best friend, and you need to love yourself, accept yourself, and be yourself. And even if you don't believe it, there is someone who cares and loves you too.

[Nick9]

XRIMO, I am glad you are feeling better and you have found the strenght to fight it and to change your negative thinking into self-appreciation and confidence. Very well done!! I am still struggling with it, always hoping for the appreciation from others.

[Thibideau]

I've struggled with thoughts of Suicide since I was in elementary school(Probably grade 6 or around there). The biggest problem at least from where I'm sitting is the isolation, because for all the people in my life no one ever noticed it or talked about it or was willing to listen to me when it came to it. My mother even found a noose in my room when I was in grade 9 and simply walked in said "I never want to see this again" walked out and that was the last I heard on the issue.

I fully admit to having a failed suicide attempt under my belt when I was in college, but even then no one in my life stopped to talk to me about it. Like my sexuality they just liked to pretend it didn't exist. Even the medical professionals seemed more interested in medicating me and pushing me out the door then actually helping me with the long term.

People like to condemn suicide and those who commit it but rarely take the time to try to prevent it or help those who are approaching it. So who's more selfish? The person who can't bare to suffer in silence anymore or the people who allow it to continue to that point.

Sadly this is a subject that the world likes to pretend doesn't exist, which parallels homosexuality. So until people start talking about it and addressing it while kids are young more GTLB are going to suffer in silence. It's a terrible feeling to think that your life means so little, no one would notice if you weren't there anymore and it's even worse that it's not an isolated inccident. That so many young people have to face it, and not enough come out the other end unscathed.

[James]

Thankyou Zeon for your well thoughtout post on this subject, learning to deal with emotions including depression, took awhile for me as I buried all emotions to cope with being a soldier, after 3 tours the were buried pretty deep only ocassionally finding their way to the surface to get bured again. When they did surface the flood was almost overwhelming, learning to deal with it all took time. Alot of the feelings that existed when I was suicidal came back, only now cause of life's experiance I was more able to deal with them. Those of us that have some age have to remember that what is a minor nuisance now would be a major catastrope when we were younger. How to help? Just be there, cry together, hug, talk and laugh, just show they are important to you. If you need help try a mutual friend first, Jim

[HollandofFrance]

i used to threaten suicide to my family and run away when i was young-i drove them crazy i guess- i feel terrible about it all

now im old -none of those thoughts now too much except my medical problems are driving me insane or can, but i feel like some sort of warrior or something now mainly-a warrior on bullshit

ill have a nuero attack that will last maybe 30 minutes then ill recover and do stuff

if i have a kid i hope theyre arent as screwed up as i was -i couldnt handle the stress i dont think

maybe fundamentalist Christians cause kids to withdraw about gayness-parents should dialogue more i think