All I want

[SadSilence]

I... I want it to end. This endless argument between me and myself, I see nothing on the horizon but a black wall. Waiting to devour me, to undo all that I've done. I want the pain to cease. I'm... I want someone to care, to come in and put an umbrella over my head, to fight away my fears. To give me someone to talk to and hide behind when I can't take it anymore, someone who knows what to say and what to do to calm me down, make me laugh, and remind me theres still purpose. Schlecht of life and all that's in it

[dfiant]

[Nick9]

I want someone to care, to come in and put an umbrella over my head, to fight away my fears. To give me someone to talk to and hide behind when I can't take it anymore, someone who knows what to say and what to do to calm me down, make me laugh, and remind me theres still purpose. Schlecht of life and all that's in it

SadSilence, I dare to think that you have that someone in your father. He seems to care, you just need to let him in. To tell him more, maybe to come out to him, to share your hopes and belief and the things that weight you down. Try find some neutral themes to talk about too. What happened during the day, who you met, how those little things made you feel. Talk to your father, to your friends, by those simple talks you can mend bridges that depression tore down.

And I wish you had that someone in us at this board too. We definitely listen, but I guess sometimes it is not enough and if you feel like you need more immediate dialog or physical hug, reach out for the people who are around you. Don't wait for them to come.
People learned to give space and sometimes it is not what we need

[HollandofFrance]

maybe you need therapy-im reluctant to give advice being miserable myself, i guess

guess im not always miserable

be positive?

It's A Beautiful Day Today - Moby Grape

[colourblindguy]

Everything you said is not an uncommon desire and is valid. I want the same thing. I ache for it. I have to believe that it's there and some how, some way, some day I will find and have all that and so will you. The difference between you and me is 30 years. I'm 45 and you're only 15. You're chances of finding and having that are so much greater than mine. Please please please do not give up waiting for it. It will happen someday. I don't know what your circumstances are that make life seem so bleak and worthless, but I hope and pray that something changes to give you some hope for your future. I don't know if you believe in God, but I do and I know He has a plan for your life and mine too.
My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain, trust me I do. If you ever want to talk, I'm here if you want. I'm not some perv or pedi, so please don't get freaked out. I just want to help you through this. This is the second time I've seen a depressing post and cry for help from you. Try and keep your head up. Here for you.

[XRIMO]

I may sound a little less sympathetic, but believe me I feel feel for you. I think you really need to be able to stand on your own, I found out that when I felt like shit, no one was going to come and hold my hand and make everything better, I was the only one who could actually do so. You may not feel like you have the strength, but each day you make it through, you show an amazing courage. And once you can learn to be self sufficient, then people start to notice you.

Rather than find someone to be your pillar of support, be your own, and then othrs will come and make sure you stand strong.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetheart, you have more people that care about you , than you know.

You also have two people that are there with you, that are fighting this battle.
Your father is one of them , the second one is an extremely brave person, who has already overcome adversity, and I admire that person so much.

That person is you.