He is a mistery, big one

[andaluzativo]

so, i won't write a lot but here is the thing - we met in october, but before we met there was serious exchange of looks a month or two-i saw him on a daily basis, and we were not afraid to catch each other looking in the eyes.and then the best thing happens we met talked for hours, we are colleagues,but the main thing, i havent told him i am gay, and he is "straight" came out of 5 yr relationship.we got very close but like straight not touching or anything, but there was this weirdness in the air between us(maybe it was just me). So, he decides to get a new girlfriend, and everyone talks about it, but i found out later a week or two,from another person, he was hiding it obviously.So i have couple of questions:
1.Why he didn't tell me about the girl ?
2. Is there a reason i should think he is bi/gay?

[pellaz]

Why he didn't tell me about the girl?

People close to us often feel and personally know we are gay. Say a situation where a teenager has an older brother but he is afraid to out himself. The parents should be able to compare the two boys and come to some reasonable conclusions. So should the boy but we dont and for good reason, we our selves are not ready to come out as gay/bi.

Is there a reason i should think he is bi/gay?

There is more to the situation than you can post here. Just keep in mind the gay population is tiny, 3-8% at best. There are no hard and fast rules but both you guys are older so a conversation might work along the lines you are the gay and appreciate his friendship and would like to keep that relationship and want to be supportive for his preferences.

[andaluzativo]

People close to us often feel and personally know we are gay. Say a situation where a teenager has an older brother but he is afraid to out himself. The parents should be able to compare the two boys and come to some reasonable conclusions. So should the boy but we dont and for good reason, we our selves are not ready to come out as gay/bi.

There is more to the situation than you can post here. Just keep in mind the gay population is tiny, 3-8% at best. There are no hard and fast rules but both you guys are older so a conversation might work along the lines you are the gay and appreciate his friendship and would like to keep that relationship and want to be supportive for his preferences.

first of all thank you, the thing is i don't know where are we in this situation, we spend hours chatting on fb every day, and that was why i felt weird for not be told about his girlfriend.he is nice to me, respectful, we have a lot in common and he is this sensitive person around me, so there are two issues-either he knows i am gay i prefered not to tell me, and the another one if he knew i was gay why didn't he try to avoid me ? that is the thing the bothers me the most

[pellaz]

my guess:
he knew you were gay
he choose not to tell you because he did not want to admit to him self he was gay

Just a guess!

all told; no reason to do anything if you dont want. You see tho there is some value in being out with people.

[andaluzativo]

my guess:
he knew you were gay
he choose not to tell you because he did not want to admit to him self he was gay

Just a guess!

all told; no reason to do anything if you dont want. You see tho there is some value in being out with people.

i think he knew also, although he knew me very short period of time, but i cannot figure him out and that is what bugs me all the time,he says he loves to cuddle alot, had a looong hetero relationships(i hoped that the break up turned him ), feel a little awkward when the homosexuality is brought up in conversation, has nothing against homosexuality, and i know that sometimes i want things to be gayer than they are, but these are the few things that ping my gaydar. What would you say

[andaluzativo]

my guess:
he knew you were gay
he choose not to tell you because he did not want to admit to him self he was gay

Just a guess!

all told; no reason to do anything if you dont want. You see tho there is some value in being out with people.

i cannot just be out i am sucha closet case i feel like i never will tell anyone, i come from a very homophobic familiy and surrounding, and all the talk against homosexuality makes me puke and feel even worse

[Jay]

i cannot just be out i am sucha closet case i feel like i never will tell anyone, i come from a very homophobic familiy and surrounding, and all the talk against homosexuality makes me puke and feel even worse

I think most of us had the experience of living in the closet. I did too.

I know it might be difficult for you to come out right this instant but don't worry, good time will come and you will eventually get the chance to come out. Most probably after you have moved out from your family's house and reside in a less homophobic surrounding.

Until then, stay strong and be patient.