Ambivalence

[Counselor]

I'm out among my friends, family and facebook, but not at work. Today, my team leader told me he found me on facebook and thought my profile picture was funny. He didn't say anything else, but I work with a few homophobic people, and the thought of that dynamic felt like I swallowed a metric assload of ice. Why is it I can be comfortable with my friends, family and facebook quasi-friends, and not with people I've worked with every day for almost a year? I've had great support from former coworkers and friends (mostly the girls come to my defense), my best friend has been amazingly supportive, and I thought he would at least try to back out of ever talking to me in person again.
I'm almost comfortable enough to tell more than just my ride to work that I'm out (I've almost slipped up a number of times this week), but I'm still worried about changing the dynamics.
Before anyone asks, there IS an anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policy in place.

[Gizzie]

I think there is no need for you to come out if you feel uncomfortable at all

[DarkDaisuke]

Its your choice and Id just set your profile to private as much as you can.

[James]

I havn't run into a straight yet that intro'd himself as "Hi I am ......... and a heterosexual" so why would we feel the need to do so. I don't hide who I am but don't announce it to everyone either, if asked I say yes, I do deal with gay issues openly at work but as another human being. I also deal with bullying against anyone irregardless of straight or gay, Jim

[Prometheus]

Lots of people have pleasantly surprised me in life over their positive/surprised reactions to me coming out to them. Generally, the negative receptions I've received derive from something slipping out of my mouth that is a give-away, when I don't know them that well and know they're homophobes anyways --- and I probably secretly wanted to see their ignorance on display too.

Everyone deserves to have dignity in who they are. Fuck those soul-less twerps who feel it necessary to concern themselves with other people's sexuality. Be you -- it's surely not that bad. If they ask, they ask --I wouldn't cross the salty sea to deliver it to them though.

[pellaz]

Before anyone asks, there IS an anti-harassment and anti-discrimination policy in place.

in Colorado there is employment protection but not every state has this. should be easy to find this out.

[Gizzie]

Oh yeah, you also need to make your account restricted so that you don't have to worry about this kind of stuff in the future

[Nick9]

Why is it I can be comfortable with my friends, family and facebook quasi-friends, and not with people I've worked with every day for almost a year?

Well, because you choose your friends, but not your coworkers.
When you are out on FB, my guess is that you have come out to the whole online world...

[gilhooly]

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[Counselor]

I havn't run into a straight yet that intro'd himself as "Hi I am ......... and a heterosexual" so why would we feel the need to do so. I don't hide who I am but don't announce it to everyone either, if asked I say yes, I do deal with gay issues openly at work but as another human being. I also deal with bullying against anyone irregardless of straight or gay, Jim

I envy this attitude! I'll try to incorporate that.

Well, because you choose your friends, but not your coworkers.
When you are out on FB, my guess is that you have come out to the whole online world...

I hadn't thought of that. I'm not really ashamed or scared, which is why ny reaction surprised me so much, but not being able to choose who knows me at work does make things different. I don't think things would become dangerous if more people at work knew, but it would definitely make a few people uncomfortable for some time, until they realize they were the ones to change.