In a relationship with a girl but confused(This will be quite a long message sorry)

[Nick9]

:biggrin: man can learn a lot about himself when he is willing to take a look, right? Come on, just kidding

Maybe you could ask your girlfriend to use some toys in bed? Wouldn't that be a way? It could be a pretty big turn on for her too - the idea of tieing you to her even more by not so common practice. Which in a way could be good for your mind too - that she is willing to do that for you.
I would definitely try this before you aproach a man.

And don't feel bad about voicing your thoughts. I bet that is the reason sex talk is sort of tabu. People are not sure what they could learn.

[pellaz]

I am basically saying I have viewed other human beings as walking robots that could give me pleasure ... :frown: ...

do you view the ladies with the same light?

most people it takes about a year to forum the emotional dependencies that glue a relationship together; so its a long time from seeing someone as a robot to seeing someone you are in a relationship wearing your face on him or her.

-most people would avoid sexing a robot
You cant love all of gods creations and so you walk down a city street yes we see people not as individuates. Both people have to want/ need a relationship. You can do more in life (if you want) or what you do is easier with the right support structure around you. If you are ready dont pick the wrong person is all.

-do you know any gay men as friends? bet not.
No one that will not be dead in 10 years really cares if your gay or not. No one cares and if asked they would really want you to be your self and happy. Meet some gay men at a bar, at the local LGBT organization, a gay sport group, a gay sportbike club. Be honest with them you sorta want to get to know them as a friend and if your gay, if they can be the robot, its ok.
-

[Perplex]

I never knew what homosexual meant until i was 16 years till then i would always lurk around girls as Gay was a taboo here
at 16 i felt an emergence to get a kiss from a man since then im a gay & more comfortable with men infact now im a gay & nothing much of a bisexual

its coz of pressure & society which makes us a straight sometimes but i realized what i am & i aint confuzed
Im gay who sometimes likes girls
I reapeat i am GAY who sometimes likes girls
i fit at 4 on the kinsey scale

[Perplex]

Only suggestion i can give is trust yourself
being gay , bi , hetero , trans
everything is a part of a persona or sexuality
I am similar to u but i term myself more gay since i realized i was when i was 16 years old & accept it im not out yet & i dont feel the need to tell anyone coz i accept myself what i am & no one has any right to my personal life
I dont mean bad to open gays but thats my feeling
just believe yourself

[Anonymous]

MetalMonster, thank you :frown:

[AlephNull]

Hello and welcome.

You know, at least you have support and a choice. Your thoughts during sex sound familiar, but I am too scared of losing what I have here, that I won't post my answer using my account and nick.

I think about and picture two guys making love during my intimate moments so that I would feel something. I crave to be a top. I want to pleasure myself the way I want. Easy you say? Not with the body of a woman...
And there is nothing I can do about it. And I can tell no one. Those thought and this wonderful forum is everything I can have right now.
Confused? How about this - I finally feel true and like myself here at GS but I am terrified that if I say the truth aloud, they will all reject me and push me away.
Because honestly, what I am? Gay hidden in woman? Even God can't have this kind of sense of humor.

Enjoy your search and choice. You can easily like both, men and women, but not both at the same time. You can have periods of feeling gay, following straight months or years.

Don't be confused and don't feel broken. Enjoy your choice!

My fiance is the same. So to satisfy her urge to be a top she just uses a strap on and pegs my in the ass. Sure, its not as good as having a real penis, but its pretty darn close, for her at least.

Thanks Nick9 it is something I have to think alot more about but I still don't think it has got past a faceless thing in a way. I guess I mean the toy now had a face or more probably multiple faces as there has never been one specific guy that I have thought about exclusively - the way they smell, the thrill as they brush me in a corridor etc - as so many people in other posts I have read have seemed to have when discovering there sexual feelings. So in many ways the thoughts have never been about a being it is more like an object. I have never thought about a man when I feel these urges, I wonder what he is like as a person, is he kind, is he funny etc. I have not even thought whats is he like in bed I don't think. I think it has always just been more that I needed some sort of sexual gratification.

Which feels horrible to say because I am basically saying I have viewed other human beings as walking robots that could give me pleasure, that disgusts me Wow am I screwed up.

Don't feel bad. I'm a very love-dovey and very horny person. I know this is gonna sound really weird, but I crush on lots of people, mostly guys, sometimes girls. I just love people. I think they are wonderful. Unfortunately for me, I grew up in a society taht said its not possible to love multiple people. So, for most of my relationships, I was monogamous. Until I found a woman who understood me.

If this woman really loves you, then you should be able to express these feelings to her without her freaking out or automatically ending the relationship. She may not be okay with the idea of an open-relationship and you may remain in a monogamous relationship and if you really love her that much you may just have to suck it up (if its really worth it to you). But I believe you must be honest, you must let her know this completely about your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your concern AlephNull. Your fiancée is lucky to have you.