Falling in love with your best friend

[reverbs33]

I am afraid that there is very strong possibility that this will happen if you tell him NOW. He may feel cornered, like If I want to keep doing what we are doing (and what I like), I need to tell him I am gay and he will want more. But I am not sure, not ready, don't want to - so better to move out immediately...

I couldn't handle losing him.

[Nick9]

I couldn't handle losing him.

then watch for his reaction and be ready to withdraw if you see a hint of panic And don't argue with him just because you get frustrated (how you indicated in your first post).
You've chosen to do this so give him time, he seems to have hard time talking about his emotions too, so don't add him more stress to cope with

You are sure you are gay (?) so try to imagine that suddenly a girl makes you all tingly. How confused that would make you feel? Your friend maybe felt straight before he met you

[pellaz]

reverbs33 I have a project for you two;
Work to stop the arguing. It takes two to argue. What do you think causes this in in him. What do you know brings this on in you. Just refuse to argue. Get this under control first before anything else.

[Rainbowmum]

I couldn't handle losing him.

All you really can do is be there for him.
He is going through a battle ,the outcome has to be without outside influence.

Just be there for him.

[matty7]

love this thread - its like britains got talent (USA TOO)etc ,,,we all know what we want to happen , wish we could vote to make u 2 a couple - im so wanting to think that ur both fighting the same thing !!! that u 2 should be a couple , i think ur mate is not accepting this totally just yet but he's tied to u in so many ways and im sure he knows this

[reverbs33]

then watch for his reaction and be ready to withdraw if you see a hint of panic And don't argue with him just because you get frustrated (how you indicated in your first post).
You've chosen to do this so give him time, he seems to have hard time talking about his emotions too, so don't add him more stress to cope with

You are sure you are gay (?) so try to imagine that suddenly a girl makes you all tingly. How confused that would make you feel? Your friend maybe felt straight before he met you

Yes I am very sure I am gay. I guess your right, it would be selfish of me to not view it from his perspective. I will give him his space from now on.

[reverbs33]

reverbs33 I have a project for you two;
Work to stop the arguing. It takes two to argue. What do you think causes this in in him. What do you know brings this on in you. Just refuse to argue. Get this under control first before anything else.

It's been so detrimental to our friendship actually. It's been happening a lot lately and it's probably cause we're both pretty insecure when it comes to certain things. He gets easily angered when I try and tell him "hard to hear" things, even if I try and phrase it calmly. It's so weird though cause last night I when we were a little drunk they put me to sleep and then I woke up a bit later cause I was mad over them doing that (I know its a stupid reason but I think I was just displacing the anger from something else) he got so mad at me he came right up to my face and yelled, calling me a bunch of things for bringing it up. Then this afternoon we go to lunch, and none of us mention anything at all, and everything just slowly went back to being normal. Your right, I will have to control my patience before dealing with any of that stuff and he will have to as well.

[reverbs33]

love this thread - its like britains got talent (USA TOO)etc ,,,we all know what we want to happen , wish we could vote to make u 2 a couple - im so wanting to think that ur both fighting the same thing !!! that u 2 should be a couple , i think ur mate is not accepting this totally just yet but he's tied to u in so many ways and im sure he knows this

lol thanks! I appreciate the support, its always great to have a new and "breath of friesh air" idea in the room lol.

[reverbs33]

All you really can do is be there for him.
He is going through a battle ,the outcome has to be without outside influence.

Just be there for him.

I think I also need to do a better job of this. It's fairly innate to sometime be selfish about our wants, but its important to hear friendly reminders like this to get you back on the direction. Thanks.

[Nick9]

It's been so detrimental to our friendship actually. It's been happening a lot lately and it's probably cause we're both pretty insecure when it comes to certain things. He gets easily angered when I try and tell him "hard to hear" things, even if I try and phrase it calmly. It's so weird though cause last night I when we were a little drunk they put me to sleep and then I woke up a bit later cause I was mad over them doing that (I know its a stupid reason but I think I was just displacing the anger from something else) he got so mad at me he came right up to my face and yelled, calling me a bunch of things for bringing it up. Then this afternoon we go to lunch, and none of us mention anything at all, and everything just slowly went back to being normal. Your right, I will have to control my patience before dealing with any of that stuff and he will have to as well.

LOL you sound like a married couple :biggrin: