Listing preferred role in bed.

[azulai]

Ok, I don't have any experience with dating sites so my point of view may be a bit naïve.

I think you should go with what YOU would want to know. If this is important to you, then you should express yourself. Is it important to you when looking at the profiles of other guys that they have this information listed about themselves? Would you find it offensive or would you quickly eliminate them if they put that they were versatile in their profile? If they put exclusive top or bottom? How would you read it?

Do you think hiding how important versatility is to you starts you off repressed and trying to fit yourself to what you THINK the other person will accept, not your true self?

Why shouldn't this be a tool to weed out candidates? You have to weigh how much sexual compatibility means to you.

What if you spend a bunch of time exchanging emails, you get all excited to meet this other person and then over coffee he tells you he is only interested in non-penetrative sex? Would that be any different?

I'm more of the attitude that this is me, take it or leave it. I think that's healthier from the start. If someone is uptight talking about sex or offended that you want fair play, is that what you want? Only you can determine how much you are willing to compromise. And, would you be willing to compromise? Should you be the only one to compromise?

Anyway, just my opinion. :redface: I personally would not find that offensive or think you are looking only for a sex. I'm guessing that you wrote a bit about who you are and what you are looking for in terms of a LTR. That should tell the other person more about your heart, I would think.

I see your statement as not setting yourself or this other person up for failure or not leading someone on.

Is it you want the most hits to your profile and then you weed out based on personality or start selective from the beginning?

YOU need to like someone, YOU need to be choosy, YOU have to have NEEDS met. Don't sell yourself short and make it all about the other person. Sure, it limits the pool both for you and others but do you really want your next thread to be, “he's a really great guy, BUT he won't…?”

I really wish the best for you and hope you find someone who loves you for who you are and treats you with respect and kindness.

[LateBloomer]

Thanks Azulai, you make some good points.

So far, I'm in favor of deleting that part. And yeah, I did write quite a bit about what who I am and what I'm looking for.

[pellaz]

keep options open in your profile... casual, relationship, friendship.
-its nice being intimate with someone and get a education. Maybe there are parts of his life, attitudes, morals you can borrow.
-just get out there. The six degrees of separation thing; everyone knows someone.
-a date is a snapshot in time where you and this person are. Both boys need to want a relationship so a one night trick could be someone on your future marriage license.

the words "straight acting", top/ bottom... are over used. Look at other profiles and borrow the parts that make these profiles stand out for you. Make your post contain a little self discovery.

in the end its what does each boy bring to the table so the couple adds up to more than just two.

[LateBloomer]

Good advice Pellaz.

Feeling pretty good about the whole endeavor but must admit I'm a little put off with the lack of response by people I try to contact.

You know, if some guy takes the time to write me a message but he's not what I'm looking for, I still write back and thank him for his interest and politely tell him thanks, but no thanks.

A few have even written me back after that and thanked me for my honesty. That's about all I expect from anyone....much rather THAT, than to be ignored.

[Nick9]

You know, if some guy takes the time to write me a message but he's not what I'm looking for, I still write back and thank him for his interest and politely tell him thanks, but no thanks.

Surprisingly, many people don't know how to do it... Like they are afraid that you will bite their head off. I have never understood that either.
Don't let that discourage you mile:

[pellaz]

That's about all I expect from anyone....much rather THAT, than to be ignored.

its going to take a little bit

[Gaydude3]

Ok, I don't have any experience with dating sites so my point of view may be a bit naïve.

I think you should go with what YOU would want to know. If this is important to you, then you should express yourself. Is it important to you when looking at the profiles of other guys that they have this information listed about themselves? Would you find it offensive or would you quickly eliminate them if they put that they were versatile in their profile? If they put exclusive top or bottom? How would you read it?

Do you think hiding how important versatility is to you starts you off repressed and trying to fit yourself to what you THINK the other person will accept, not your true self?

Why shouldn't this be a tool to weed out candidates? You have to weigh how much sexual compatibility means to you.

What if you spend a bunch of time exchanging emails, you get all excited to meet this other person and then over coffee he tells you he is only interested in non-penetrative sex? Would that be any different?

I'm more of the attitude that this is me, take it or leave it. I think that's healthier from the start. If someone is uptight talking about sex or offended that you want fair play, is that what you want? Only you can determine how much you are willing to compromise. And, would you be willing to compromise? Should you be the only one to compromise?

Anyway, just my opinion. :redface: I personally would not find that offensive or think you are looking only for a sex. I'm guessing that you wrote a bit about who you are and what you are looking for in terms of a LTR. That should tell the other person more about your heart, I would think.

I see your statement as not setting yourself or this other person up for failure or not leading someone on.

Is it you want the most hits to your profile and then you weed out based on personality or start selective from the beginning?

YOU need to like someone, YOU need to be choosy, YOU have to have NEEDS met. Don't sell yourself short and make it all about the other person. Sure, it limits the pool both for you and others but do you really want your next thread to be, “he's a really great guy, BUT he won't…?”

I really wish the best for you and hope you find someone who loves you for who you are and treats you with respect and kindness.

I have gone on a date with a guy who was against anal and just cuddled. I knew that wouldn't work.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mrk2010]

Personally I think being versatile is the best of both worlds you can share roles and things won't get boring :-)

[Daniel]

I'd like to have someone more experienced take center stage and guide me through the dance with gentle hands and his heart in it. A loving dominance compareble to a warm embrace.