Finally the time has come....

[zeon]

Hi All,
I have something to share with everyone and some will be pleased some may shun it but the time has come... Now its going to be hard saying this and im not good with goodbyes but last wednesday i decided enough is enough.... Now ive had some thought about it and gotten confused over things... So i decided its time to get to the clinic...

I walked right in there to the desk picked up a form and decided to give it a proper go at giving up smoking... BET YOU ALL THOUGHT AUNTY BLOODY ZEON WAS BLOODY LEAVING..... LIKE HELL AM I!!!!!!! lmao....

Why did I go to the clinic??? Ill tell you why... I have a problem.. I have a problem with something more addictive than cannibis or crack bloody cocaine (bit blonde on drugs might be the same product lol can tell ive never done any). I am proud to admit ive got a problem and not shunning away from it.. I smoke between 40 and 60 or even more roll ups a day... 50g of tobacco only lasts me three days im 27 and sounding 80.. Im struggling to climb hills. Im not wishing to develop any health related issues and I want to be free.. I want to be able to walk into a bar hold my head up high and smell the way i did when i went out... Not like an ashtray.. I dont want to spend my hard earned cash i work hard for to line the pockets of the big cats at John sinclair.. I dont want to end up in a box before my time looking back on life from beyond the grave watching my loved ones think... If only he'd given up smoking sooner he could have still been here..

I dont want to see anymore burn marks in my car where ive dropped my cigarette whilst driving.. I dont want to be told the bad news in life.. I want the good news...

I want to live til im old. I want to do things with my money and spend it on luxery. I want john sinclair to go strap a dildo to a big stick and go fuck himself as his product his selling me doesnt give me any benefit.. I want to look back on my life from beyond the grave and say Zeon... You did yourself proud... You got your problems sorted, you got your property paid off, you had savings in the bank for a rainy day and ontop of that you helped so many people give up a habit you struggled with for so long.. I want those who grieve over me to know it was the right time and that i lived a happy life.. I want my loved ones to enjoy their inheritance so i know i made their lives better as mine ended...

I am now a fighter and im going to fight for my right to be free from this torture... The torture of constant coughing every morning... The torture of being unfit and the torture of not actually enjoying the one thing i should... My food..

I will explain now why i knew it was the right time... Right time?? Yeah everyone always says the time will be right one day but to be honest... The right time is when you can be arsed to actually admit you got a damn problem and admit and think how things are affecting you... Four weeks ago i got a leaflet to give up smoking so i threw the damn thing in the bin and thought go figure... Me give up??? Please stand more chance of me making love to a woman than giving up my vice in life... Fast forward two weeks

Cough cough cough every day feeling as though im an old banger waiting for the scrap heap... I went to enquire at the local chemist and they gave me a address i didnt know of and walked out went home and smoked... Still the problem remained... Week and 420 roll ups later i walked round to the chemist asked again... Different advisor but same old crap address... Walked out of there BUT i didnt walk home.. I went to the town hall oppisite and enquired there... They gave me a leaflet and the hunt began.. I thought zeon your not going home til you find this place.... 1 hour and 35 minutes later i found the place craving for a cigarette as run out of tobacco.. I walked in and wanted to join but advisors were away till today.. I walked out and got tobacco and continued smoking... Today ive rolled ultra big fat cigarettes to burn up my monies worth. I told my ex i was giving up smoking and he said he would like to come with me to do the same... Together we walked into the clinic and grabbed a form each signed our names on the list and filled out the form as we waited...

I was asked.... Why do i smoke... Why? Because to be honest.... Its a habit... a costly habit... Sure ill miss the cigarette after a big meal but ill learn to live with it...

My monoxicide reading.... 16 my ex 18.. I felt ashamed seeing the red light come on... It confirmed to me I have a problem.. If i didnt have a problem it would be green or at least yellow (refuse to call it bloody amber thats a girls name not a colour)... Yellow for working outdoors with the traffic fumes... I chose to take lozengers and weak patches as i dont want nightmares of axe wielding murders... l walked out of there and felt like a brand new me... Im smoking til bedtime and all the crap that i have left in the tobacco pouch is going down the bloody toilet or might go to the pub oppisite and give it to a local and say today i chose to give up and be free so here have this...

So yeah anyone ever want help in kicking a habit.... Read my post again and again and ask yourself things i asked myself... Then get your arse to the nearest stop smoking clinic and be free and stop giving fat cats like john bloody sinclair your money... If he doesnt care if you die of cancer... I wont if he does... Its karma what goes around will surely come around

JKindest regards

Aunty Zeon xx

[mrk2010]

Wow, good luck with that. :-) nice to see you wanting a healthier life. Also just think of all the money you will be able to spend on yourself and not on the ciggy's. Personally I tried smoking twice never got anything from it, I think the fact I'm asthmatic too put me off, I'd probably be dead or have black lung in like 3 months. lol

I hope it goes well for you. x

[Nick9]

Seriously Zeon.... LOL. Yeah, you got me, man :biggrin: Why I always think negative?

Congrats! And I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. *hugs*

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You go girl!

[jaxc]

nice to hear your kicking the habitmile:, lets just hope you were lucky enough to not done any permanent damage.

[Maverick]

Good luck, I've never smoked, but know people who have and it's a very hard thing to do. You'll be glad you quit once you get past the difficult parts....

[princealbertofb]

If you can do it, Zee, I'll encourage you... (I hope this wasn't a 1st April stunt!)
Good luck with it, it won't be easy.

[pellaz]

... Then get your arse to the nearest stop smoking clinic and be free and stop giving fat cats like john bloody sinclair your money... If he doesnt care if you die of cancer... I wont if he does... Its karma what goes around will surely come around ...

i dont under stand how its un clear just ho cares if you die of cancer.
no one cares
you have to care

[zeon]

hello All,
Firstly thanks for the support... More than what can be said on my family as just looked on my facebook and they all praising my brother on being drunk and telling the world how much he loves his danish girlfriend but with me.... None of them said good luck or liked my status which made me think fuck em to be honest... I feel disappointed as thought id get some sort of support...

Well first day down and this is like my little journal how i can use it to explain to future people on gayspeak wanting to give up smoking...

DAY 1:

As soon as i woke i ripped open the box of patches and shoved one on my arm... l felt a slight tingly sensation within twenty minutes and my left arm felt very very heavy as though id been to the gym... I didnt crave taking the dogs out for their morning walk as i usually do have a cigarette when walking them.. On the way to work i got stuck in traffic and the craving kicked in... I felt all tight chested which is how i crave whereas some people crave in different ways... I ripped open the packet of minis lozengers which are in a wheelie bin shaped tube and i thought oh gotta think.... In it to bin it! I placed a lozenger in me gob and instantly it sort of took control... Within two minutes i felt a burning sensation and a numbness on the side of my mouth and tounge and figured this is dead strong. I weighed up the odds from my last proper time about three years ago and thosde big round lozengers are squeesed into a tiny tube and capsule which may be why...

At work my day was alright i felt inside better and made it through all breaks and lunch. My ex however didnt... He had a drag on a fag at 13.42 and i said to him... Your a disappointment... You best not be drag here drag there for long because i dont want my time wasted OR MR NHS stop smoking mans time either... I reminded him he gave his confidence at stopping a 10/10 whereas me i was cautious and went for 9/10 just incase i need room for improvement...

I am allowed 15 capsules a day and have consumed 8 of them so far. I feel proud of what im achieveing after today as it has been 22 hours and 33 minutes since my last cigarette... At 2 pm today i started coughing all over the place like i do first thing in the morning and i thought sod off i havent smoked and then it occured to me that after pumping 6 1/2 years worth of crap down into my lungs... My body is now going to reject it all so at some point im going to have to accept that what goes down will be coming up!

Well roll on day 2.... Apparently after day 3 things get easier... I am looking forward to day 30 to lower my doseage to 2mg and at day 60 again to 1mg and then on day 90 i will be spending the rest of my life relying on nothing more than inner will power...

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Nick9]

Zeon I am so proud of you!

I can only imagine how hard it is. I never started. I was afraid that if I liked it, I would have never quit.
My partner smoked when we got to know each other. God, I hated the smell. He could have just one in the morning, eat and drink during a day and I still knew in the evening when I kissed him that he smoked.
I am really glad, he quit.

In a way, you will have more potential partners

Keep the good work!