Making Progress

[djs6949]

Hi everyone! So the last time I was on here was in August! I was completely in the closet, confused and scared. Today, I came out to my parents, my sister, co-workers, friends, and more. It has been a great, yet somewhat terrifying day. Everyone took it really well!

However, now I am just having trouble coming to terms with myself. I realize I am gay. However, I keep telling myself that there is something wrong with me. There's a small voice inside my head telling me, you are going to Hell (I was raised Catholic). I understand that it's not a choice. I just want to be happy. How do I get over this? I need desperate help!

[Nick9]

Hi and welcome back and CONGRATULATION! Wow that must have been quite a day!

To your problem... I am sorry, I don't know, I don't believe in Hell at all, so that one is easy for me. On the other hand, I have my own hell in my head sometimes, so who I am to give you advice...

As a rude atheist I would say You must be kidding... As a respectful atheist... go to the source. Don't go to your parents who were probably taught by men of the God, don't go to the men in the church. Get the copy of the Bible that is as close to the original as it is possible.

I was told on different occasions that the original was funny reading, full of stories and even jokes. Centuries ago some people had thought that this was not right. The Bible and its meaning is said to change a lot.

Maybe you will find out that you have no problem with God or the original book. It's the people who want to call themselves unmistakable and always right, those priests and monks and many many people living in churches for so long that they have feeling they are the only one who know the truth...

Good luck with that.

[Wsup]

Congrats. That's a lot of coming out for one day!

As for the Catholicism, that's going to be around for a while.

If my gay friends who were raised catholic are any indication, the intensity of the guilt and shame will lessen only with time. I think the keyword here is "time" - it's not going to go away, you just have to be aware that is a part of you, but will be less so as you find yourself.

[pellaz]

congratulations
I kinda did it like that too, cant stand extended drama unless i am the one causing it

However, now I am just having trouble coming to terms with myself. I realize I am gay. However, I keep telling myself that there is something wrong with me.

we have been around since time, nothing wrong with us.

I think where will be a whole generation of gays that will not see the inside of a catholic church. Local to where I live we have this organization which may be a good bridge from where you are today to a proper gay culture:
http://www.dignitydenver.org/

being gay should not be limitation. You should be able to have a stable house hold about you that is loving and supportive.

[JRiver]

There's a small voice inside my head telling me, you are going to Hell (I was raised Catholic). I understand that it's not a choice. I just want to be happy. How do I get over this? I need desperate help!

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you in simply being a guy who likes guys. Nothing.

Congratulations in coming out as you have done. This takes courage! What a relief it must be to now have your life out in the open, where you can talk about important things with others.

The overwhelming trend in the world in recent decades is to accept gay/bi/queer folks, and even to allow them/us to share in equal rights, including the right to marry. The Catholic church, nor any other church, can prevent this trend from expanding ... and they must know this. Even the Pope (yuck!) must know this. So look forward to a day when even the Catholic church will change its mind on heterosexism and homophobia. These will be challenged until dissolved, as racism and sexism have been. (Not that the dissolving process is over, but look at the extraordinary progress which has occurred in the last century!)

You are simply a person, a human being. And some of us are gay and some of us are bi and some of us are straight, just as some have blue eyes and others have green or blue eyes. There is nothing morally wrong about having blue or green eyes, and there is nothing morally wrong about loving guys--or kissing them, or pleasuring them....

Ask yourself: "If God is a loving God, would he want any of us to suffer?" And ask all of the attendant questions which allow you to question the premise that God wants you to be heterosexual, or hates you if you are not.

In my own case, I do not believe in the God of any of the Abrahamic religions
[ See: wikipedia. /Abrahamic_religions ]. Nor do I have belief in any God. But I'm not exactly an atheist of the usual sort. Not at all! I have a rich and deep spiritual life. Spirituality is central to my life, in fact. But -- believe it or not -- one can have a profound spiritual life without belief in God.

Love and kindness and goodness and beauty and joy and generosity and celebration ..., along with everything else formal religion likes to claim as their own ... exist, apart from any belief in -- or existence of -- God or gods. Even without God or belief in God there is sacredness, dignity, ... even faith and holiness. One doesn't need an Old Man In The Sky -- with a long white beard and a booming Voice to live a life with wonder, the sublime, joy and bliss, freedom and peace.... These are all to be found within the natural realm, for there is indeed no chasm between Heaven & Earth, as even Jesus has said.: “The kingdom of heaven is all around you but you do not see it.”

Don't be over-burdened with questions concerning belief with regard to religious and spiritual matters. Rather, make joy and love your guide. One need not believe in love to feel and experience it. Joy is not a belief, nor is freedom or kindness or generosity. Religion fails to serve us when it provides orthodox beliefs in the place of real lived experience. (This is why Buddhism is my guide and inspiration, rather than any theistic tradition -- but the Sufi poets are cool, anyhow!)

[DJM]

This is awesome, I am so happy for you!

[DJM]

^ ^ ^ I mean that you have come out and that it was taken well I mean. Your own journey of self-acceptance will be long, but worth it. You're already well on your way from I can gather, expressing yourself in such a way as coming out will benefit how your perceive yourself - the fact of your sexuality will "settle onto" your life. I wish you luck.

[Wsup]

^ ^ ^ I mean that you have come out and that it was taken well I mean. Your own journey of self-acceptance will be long, but worth it. You're already well on your way from I can gather, expressing yourself in such a way as coming out will benefit how your perceive yourself - the fact of your sexuality will "settle onto" your life. I wish you luck.

+ "your own journey"
++ it takes time

[zeon]

hello,
Well done on having the courage to come out of the closet... Now with regards to hell ill tell you something... Hell is life its the world we live in to be honest.... We are all in hell until we die then we are in peace... I think the one thing you should do is learn to love the life you are given and being gay... I had difficulties accepting myself at first but to be honest i wouldnt change who or what i am because being gay is great... l think all you need to do is set aside what religion teaches as it has been re written and adjusted over the years its been there and before it was established people before didnt complain about gay lifestyles... Coming out as gay is just informing people

Dont expect children out of me because it isnt happenning as mother nature has said NO

Kindest regards

zeon x

[JRiver]

Continuing a bit from my above post....

I've recently become interested in what is called "religious naturalism," but I have not yet read much about it. So I don't have a lot to say about it.

But I did enjoy watching this video.:

dubya, dubya, dubya ... sacredriver [dot org] /766/ video-atheist- spirituality

Remove the gaps/spaces between the parts of the above link. Gayspeak won't let me post links, yet.