What now?

[djs6949]

So, now I am out to a lot of people I know. Here's the problem. I don't know how to act, or talk to anyone. I totally feel like people talk to me differently. My biggest issue is after acting straight for so many years (about 5), I don't know how to talk to guys. Like I don't know how to hold the simplest conversation with other gay guys. I hope this doesn't sound stupid. I am just lost and I don't know what to do :frown: please help!

[Nick9]

Hi
my best guess would be, the same way you had talked to them before. You are comfortable that way and honestly, you can't flirt with every gay you meet I would say, be the same way you were, but now not because you have to, but because it makes you more comfortable. After some time it will change naturally.

[badpoet]

Speak to them in the same way that you speak to anyone else.
Yes, you'll be nervous when you first start chatting someone up,
No, it doesn't really matter
yes, just go out and make some friends don't worry about dating - it will happen.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie ,take a deep breath , relax and be yourself.
If the way they talk to you now makes you uncomfortable , tell them.

[Spades]

Some gays might ask you this, so be prepared:
Favorite diva?
Favorite pop singer?
Favorite fashion designer?

I'm just kidding, of course :tongue:

Seriously, the same as said above, be yourself, don't try to force anything.
And just because they are gay, doesn't mean you have to talk to them differently, we are all just human.

[spencer]

I had a similar problem a while ago and I found the solution to be this: Don't worry about it because you aren't required to change anything about yourself. You are only required to be yourself. Coming out should be so that you can be yourself, not so that you can change who you are.

[Gizzie]

I don't think there is anything you can but to be yourself.
Its tough and feels wield at first, but you will only make o th people more uncomfortable if you are.

[minhthien94]

I'm an actor just like u and i'm not good at conversation so I think ur biggest issue should be ambition to get people attention just like mine.

if u want to get somebody (gays or straight) attention but without too much conversation, just ask them to do some activities w you like sports or something like that. It would be much easier and try not to stress out. :biggrin:

And by the way, don't worry about hell and heaven. Those concept are made from the state of mind. u feel guilty, that is your hell; u feel great for doing good thing, that is your heaven. the story from the bible just want to make the earth to be a utopia so that people can live happy. so try not to do bad stuff but good stuff, a'ight! mile:

[dfiant]

The only thing that has changed is the fact that you have come out.

You don't need to 'act' any way in particular, just be yourself.

Perhaps you are being too sensitive and feeling things that are not really there and you are treating people differently rather than people treating you differently?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Straight acting is not an act.

I'm 'straight acting' and have on more than one occasion been accused of 'acting' too straight.

Its not an act. I really do walk that way, talk that way and carry myself that way. I really don't know the difference between teal and blue. I still look at my truck and think its color is "light brown" not taupe.

My partner dresses me when we go out - I have no sense of fashion. Yes it is a problematic thing for him because I am bullheaded and stubborn. :biggrin:

Gay people are people too. Gays don't come from some other world, they all hail from Earth. Well most hail from Earth

Yes people will talk to you differently. My partner and I have many friends, We go to social functions as a couple, and we are treated differently.

An extreme example: "Barbie" (His nick name) will talk to us, throw out some gay word and then pause turn to me and explain the word. We have known 'Barbie' and his partner for, oh 12 years now and he has never figured out that yes I do understand 'gay talk'. But he also does this to his partner who is also 'straight acting' and they have been together 22-25 years now.

What to talk about? What do you know? Are you into sports, hunting, mechanics - then talk about it - you will find that some of the most 'gay acting' people out there actually know how to throw a football, know the difference between a spark plug and a radiator cap and at least several know how to use a firearm.

If being 'straight acting' is you, then be you. Lots of men out there are looking for 'straight acting'. Doesn't matter what role you prefer in bed either.