So yeah... I've been pretty anti-social lately. And not just with the cute boys. Pretty much everyone, ignoring invites from friends, closing out of online accounts, laying about in my room reading or just sleeping. Its been a slow transition, but pretty much since high school graduation I've been falling into a hush.
I just don't really seem to care about that stuff anymore. When I saw friends everyday at school it was easy to keep up and make plans, but now with college classes, work, and everything else I hardly bother. I haven't turned on my cell phone in about five weeks. I've been saying its because its broken, which is partly true, but if I really wanted to I could keep it charged and at the go. Instead I just leave it under my bed, switched off and battery drained.
I just really haven't been seeing the point in talking to people. I've dated about three boys and honestly I'm kind of done with the dating scene. I find it hard to open up to people, which makes it hard for others to get close. I'm not a 'feelings' person, I'm hardly ever angry or really any other extreme emotion. And if I ever do I mostly just let it steam off while I sleep or just chill out. So I figure if I'm not letting them close than there really is no point in dating, and I have been way too paranoid and freaked out over STDs to have any more casual encounters.
I've been saying I'm happily single right now, which again is mostly true. Every now and then I feel like having someone there to love or to help me through something, but it passes and I then I feel fine on my own two feet.
Really I guess I'm posting this because friends keep inviting me to do things and I keep blowing them off, excusing myself by saying I'm tired because I work odd hours and take night classes. I've been looking at how often I ignore or turn down invites and sometimes I'll go out so they don't feel like I hate them or anything. But I don't really enjoy it that much. And I feel bad about it.
They keep trying to get me to do stuff and even when I do go out I'm withdrawn a good deal of the time. And I keep thinking that I shouldn't. That I really should enjoy it more and thrive on getting out of the house. So I guess, comments, advice, anything really?
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I am a complete introvert, and I enjoy being alone than being with other people...except my dog.
In the beginning I felt like I was doing something wrong by not wanting to hang out with other people, but with time, I noticed that that was just how it is meant to be.
Tv, movies , facebook etc make you feel like everyone is meant to have tons of friends, but that is a big misconception.
So I say, just be true to yourself and do what makes you happiest.
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Yeah, get a physical and bring up this whole thing with your physician (Medical - body doctor).
There may be an underlying medical cause for this change you have - get it ruled out.
If Doctor looks at the tests and thumps your body and pronounces you healthy, then don't be to concerned over this. Unless this is causing you a problem.
If its not a problem strike it up to your being comfortable in your own skin, and not needing to commit to any person or any thing at this time. We all have these slow periods in life.
If you are comfortable being alone - alone but not lonely, then enjoy it.
If it is a problem, consider therapy (mind mender therapy) just to get the mind examined to see if there is anything really 'wrong' here.
I suspect that there is nothing wrong. You are happy, but not maniac happy (happy all the time is as bad as being sad all the time). Sure you have the occasional wistful 'It would be nice to have a fella to do_______________' but you do not appear to be pining for love.
I suspect that you really are tired, tired of the same old stuff that no longer interests you and are turning more introspective and contemplative. I also suspect that you are finding a distance growing between you and your friends, thus fail to see real 'need' to join in their life which disinterests you.
This all happens to nearly everyone at one point or another in their life.
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I just wrote something similar and I'm in that stage you are in more or less, except I am a "feeling" type of person. So I have no idea how I could help you. But Best of luck.
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I have a strong history of doing the same thing. I've been doing it again lately. I can't focus on too many things at once and when I start to get overwhelmed I stop hanging out with people because it just becomes too much chaos. I'm a big introvert so I really enjoy my alone time. You may just be needing to spend some time away from people and just living your life. You're kinda in a transition state of life and I know it gets overwhelming at times, at least for me, so maybe just spending time focussing on work and school and yourself is what you need right now. Getting out of the house is good and spending time with friends is good but there's nothing wrong with taking a break period from all that. I know it can get annoying when friends end up consistantly trying to get you to hang out with them but I'm good at ignoring my phone or just saying I'm in an anti-social period right now, I'll catch up with you guys later.
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"but now with college classes, work, and everything else I hardly bother. excusing myself by saying I'm tired because I work odd hours and take night classes."
-good or bad work and college is a lot of work. nothing bad concentrating on your studies.
-get organized with you new life. Friends and fun times can happen even if you are working and a student. Not unusual that you are not doing as many house things either.
-a good time to do something different. Adopt a cat, goto the gym at school. Every now in then chime into your old friend and tell them what is happening. Select what is easy and takes less energy to set up than the old stuff
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man, just relax. I think u may need time for yourself. besides, time pasts then u'll change and that's how life is.
If u want a good date, try to find who's your best foil. like when u scare, he is brave; u bad at work out, he is athletic and vice versa (just examples).
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I went through a stage like that in my late teens and early 20's, for me it was mainly because I had a lot of issues to deal with, so as a result I didn'r feel mentally or emotionally connected with the world and the people around me.
It is a phase and it passed. I still like my own company and enjoy time alone, but I am not so introverted like I was in my early 20's.
Relax, do what you have to do...stay away from doctors as there is nothing wrong with you and they will just do an uncomfortable battery of test and try a cocktail of drugs to change your mood when all you need is time.
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Well, it is a transition from high school to college and friendships change; we change. Maybe you just need some me-time?
Instead of just reading and sleeping, try to incorporate some exercise and healthy eating into your routine. Get out in the sunshine and get those endorphins going.
Just try to direct it so that it's a positive, affirming me-time and you don't spiral yourself into depression and isolation. You seem pretty aware, there is nothing wrong with telling friends 'no, can't make it' (I had to learn that), and not guilt yourself about it.
 to GS!
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Well thanks for the all replies. Just getting a little worried because I'm moving out with a friend this summer and was actually thinking something might be up with me or I wouldn't be able to handle it. But I doubt that anyway. Who knows, maybe I'll hide out less if its only two friends living around rather than my four sisters.
I am comfortable being alone, but then I'm also often uncomfortable surrounded. I get intensely nervous in crowds, even if its just five or six people grabbing some food from the breakroom at work, I'll sit and wait until most of them have left. That's really about the only time I get nervous around people. No real issues talking to them, unless they're asking about my opinion on their life, and that's just more about me having no idea how to comment because I don't want people telling me how to live, so I don't like telling others how I think they should live.
Cause, yeah honestly I saw some of your guys' replies and my first thought was, "Yeah... not gonna happen." But I will think about them, and most of the others seem to be some sound advice. Though I do worry I sleep too much. Because I do sleep a lot. A lot, a lot. Like on average about 9-11 hours, and today I slept 14. I'll make up for it by probably not sleeping tonight because its 2 am and I'm still wide awake. But still, it really does seem to be a lot compared to all the complaints from friends/coworkers I get about not getting enough sleep.
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Why so Cynical
