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Three Types (& More)
#11
Hm..

I'm not so sure if 'Type-3' guys are the minority. Personally speaking I've met/friends with a bunch of guys who are in open-relationships. They have one 'Main-guy' but they are both allowed to see/hook-up with other guys. My 'bgf' [best-gay-friend] is in one of those types of relationships. They have like different ground rules as to what they can do with other guys, but in the end all their emotional connection and ties are with that one Main-guy.

Recently I've done some serious soul-searching if I can ever be 'Type-3' and I've come to realize that I can't. If I'm with someone all my interest is towards them, all other guys seem to fade into the background.

There are those that argue though, that as guys we shouldn't limit ourselves to just one mate, and how it goes against our sexual needs/wants or something like that.

But in the end everyone's not the same, lol Rolleyes
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#12
I'm having a difficult time understanding what you are asking op.

It appears this is your second thread on polyamory. Do you want validation? Searching for candidates? lol.

I'm not interested in more LABELS.
From reading a few of your previous posts, you seem to denigrate guys in my age group as "wet behind the ears," if we don't share YOUR POV. The person that replied to you was respectful and open-minded.

Do you feel more evolved because you are polyamorous? I guess, I'm curious as to how you feel about your labeled Type-1 and Type-2 guys? If you are trying to be an advocate for your "type," you're not doing a very good job.

Let me just say, my life experiences have shaped me into the man I am today. And, it has taken me a bit of a journey to see myself as a man rather than a boy/teenager. I have many friends in the 30 - 40+ range who I respect and adore. Their friendships have enriched my life. But, not one of them has ever made me feel less because of my age, to the contrary they've made me feel more confident and helped me develop my voice. I have learned from them; I have grown.

Sure, there's been the occasional ageism here from time to time but it never fails to surprise me. I find it very unnecessary and immature no matter the person's age.
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#13
I have fit all three descriptions and none of them exclusively at the same time.

Azulai...you are a brilliant young man Wink
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#14
azulai Wrote:I'm having a difficult time understanding what you are asking op.

It appears this is your second thread on polyamory. Do you want validation? Searching for candidates? lol.

I'm not interested in more LABELS.
From reading a few of your previous posts, you seem to denigrate guys in my age group as "wet behind the ears," if we don't share YOUR POV. The person that replied to you was respectful and open-minded.

Do you feel more evolved because you are polyamorous? I guess, I'm curious as to how you feel about your labeled Type-1 and Type-2 guys? If you are trying to be an advocate for your "type," you're not doing a very good job.

Let me just say, my life experiences have shaped me into the man I am today. And, it has taken me a bit of a journey to see myself as a man rather than a boy/teenager. I have many friends in the 30 - 40+ range who I respect and adore. Their friendships have enriched my life. But, not one of them has ever made me feel less because of my age, to the contrary they've made me feel more confident and helped me develop my voice. I have learned from them; I have grown.

Sure, there's been the occasional ageism here from time to time but it never fails to surprise me. I find it very unnecessary and immature no matter the person's age.



Yes! Thumbgrin
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#15
From a monogamous only stand point, both one and three sound like the same thing to me.

I think this label polyamorous is just an attempt to justify or make promiscuity a bit more palatable to the general public.

Quote:Or they may have one primary partner whom they give their heart (so to speak), while being open to having recreational sex outside this primary relationship.
If you give your heart to a person and just have sex outside of the relationship, you ain't really loving those other people. You are just being sexually active, or in the eyes of the majority of the world promiscuous.

Polyamorous Poly = Many Amore = Love - Thus the word is attempting to describe many loves.

I have seen this word, Polyamorous applied willy nilly since its creation in the 1990's - in many cases there is little to no love really involved, least ways not to the many.
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#16
JRiver Wrote:... three types of guys:
Group 1 = the prudes
1. Guys who are into having sex with guys, but who are not interested in having a broader, wider, rounder kind of relationship with the guys they're having sex with. They may have little interest or ability when it comes to making what we could call "heart connections".
Group 2 = normals
2. Guys who are into the broader, wider rounder type of relationship which is both sexual and friendship -- and romantic, etc., but who are only able and willing to do so with one person (one partner).
Group 3 = the sluts
3. Guys who don't fit either of the above two items. These type-three guys may be polyamorous, and interested in multiple committed loverly relationships. Or they may have one primary partner whom they give their heart (so to speak), while being open to having recreational sex outside this primary relationship. Type-3 guys fall into many other sub-types--which we could discuss here. I'm personally especially interested in discussion about (and with) type-3 guys, which appear to be in the minority these days. Especially the sub-type who is open to making real connections even when he has established connections already. It seems to me there are many possible ways of relating in this type-3 space, but that we tend not to be very imaginative about it. RolleyesWink

guys he is talking about the type3 setup but not in a slutty way.
i would be interested in hearing how people in a three some make it work. Maybe along the lines so you have an existing couple with a unique set of good bad traits. How to pick the third person that compliments everyone. Couples have rules like "never argue in bed" what rules work for a three some?

not me for sure but maybe no one out there has done this.Invasion
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#17
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:From a monogamous only stand point, both one and three sound like the same thing to me.

I think this label polyamorous is just an attempt to justify or make promiscuity a bit more palatable to the general public.


If you give your heart to a person and just have sex outside of the relationship, you ain't really loving those other people. You are just being sexually active, or in the eyes of the majority of the world promiscuous.

Polyamorous Poly = Many Amore = Love - Thus the word is attempting to describe many loves.

I have seen this word, Polyamorous applied willy nilly since its creation in the 1990's - in many cases there is little to no love really involved, least ways not to the many.

I find it hard to believe anyone could love someone above all others and still want to have sex with others. I even find it hard to believe that you could love one person above all others and want to bring someone else in for sex (i.e. a threesome). I mean, we're gay, so it's clearly not about procreation. It's obviously about sex because we arnt just looking for someone to hang out with... but why does it have to so lightly taken? I can't imagine ever needing to have someone else in my sex life other than my partner. It's not the act that makes it special, it's who I'm doing it with. just my opinion.
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#18
I think Type-3 is slowly becoming more popular. What with Sister Wives going on I think there's' been a lot more talk on polyamorous/polygamist relationships. I've seen a few shows on them. There was actually a Dr. Phil episode on it. I've taken quite an interest in it. So personally I could go for Type-2 or Type-3 and I think a lot of people are Type-1 at some point at least between relationships or at a party or just at a moment when porn wasn't enough. I don't find anything against any of the 3.
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#19
azulai Wrote:I'm having a difficult time understanding what you are asking op.

It appears this is your second thread on polyamory. Do you want validation? Searching for candidates? lol.

I'm not interested in more LABELS.
From reading a few of your previous posts, you seem to denigrate guys in my age group as "wet behind the ears," if we don't share YOUR POV. The person that replied to you was respectful and open-minded.

Deningrate? Are you serious, if I as a 46 yr old guy call a 20ish yr old guy "wet behind the ears" I'm denigrating!?! There's no room for nuance or humor in such a comment?

I was trying to indicate something that no 20 yr old could possibly know from experience--which in part is what it's like to be in a fifteen year long committed and loving relationship. I was trying to sugggest that perspectives change over time, because we learn things from experience. We just do. And saying so does NOT mean I'm talking down to you. I am not.
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#20
Following from my last post ...

It's just sad that some of you guys in here can't understand that some of us actually can love more than one person at a time -- and without that meaning that we don't love our original or initial partners.

And, it is worth noting, most of the guys who have suggested that doing so is unrealistic or illusory are quite young.

I do hope you twenty-something guys will take note of this and have another look at your lives when you're 40-something. Perhaps then you will better understand.

Not that I have anything at all against monogamous type relationships. I do not. I respect all genuine loving, very much. If only I could receive the same respect!
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