Three Types (& More)

[Pix]

I'm open to the idea of polyamory, especially after reading The Ethical Slut, though I've never tried it. I did consider an offered polyamorous ship but rejected it because...well it's a sore point for me so let me just say I found a partner completely unacceptable even as an acquiantance let alone as a romantic or sexual partner and leave it at that.

But I did WANT a polyamorous relationship once back when I was 19, but it was special circumstance (and IIRC it was right after I read the Ethical Slut, too). Summed up, I let a guy move in with me and I got to really like him as a person, especially with how he had the natural ability to make me laugh until I cried actual tears. He was also a cross dressing sissy (and I just found all that gender bending fascinating) and I became very protective of him as I knew the world would be unfriendly to him (the fact that he was small wouldn't help), and I knew even many women would cruelly reject him (him being a bicurious heterosexual). As I got to liking him a lot and being very protective I took to spoiling him, including sexually (back then I believed men REQUIRED sex to remain sane). While I had moments of getting into the sex, most of the time my seeing to his sexual desires and needs was as passionate for me as giving a massage, and I had to admit even then that I was just too lesbian to ever be happy settling with him as a life partner. So what I wanted to do was find a woman to love who would accept him as (hate to word it this way but it fits) a "pet" (and if she was bisexual and we had a 3-way, so much the better). BUT ideally I'd want him to find a woman who could make him happy and I could go my own way happy for him, but until then I wanted to take care of him.

As it was I couldn't afford to keep him anyway and he had to move in with his mom who was willing to take him while I tried to catch up with the bills (I tracked and found it was several hundred dollars to take care of him every month and I was really struggling). When I got a roomie I explained the sitch as best and persuasively as I could and asked if he could move in but she rejected the idea (mainly she didn't like him not having a job despite that he was willing to do errands & housework and his comedic talents were also valuable, IMO) and as we became a serious couple she was definitely against sharing me.

After we split and I got another girlfriend I brought up the possibility again but she got downright angry that I would ask and didn't even want me to see him at all (as I'd learn she had a very jealous streak). It's just one reason why I'm bitter that she turned out to be such a cheater (which I forgave once only to have her do it again), and she was the one I mentioned above who (after my busting her cheating a 2nd time) tried to get me to accept a 3-way relationship that I found unacceptable (because of how horrid the other person was, though don't think I'm forgetting my partner for having an affair behind my back).

By then I'd lost all contact with that guy and to this day (10 years later) I wonder how he is and hope life is treating him well.

But just as well I suppose. There's no way my current partner would accept him either.

[azulai]

And, no, I have not responded to all of your points and questions, Azulai. Maybe I'll get to some of them later. For now I just wanted to let you know that if you want to be treated with respect, regardless of your age, you need to earn that. You said I needed to earn mine, so I'm holding you to your own standard.

Yeah, ok. I see how well things went today.
And, I saw how mature you were in that other thread where you gave me a shout out while "ministering" to the youth! :tongue:

I am still waiting for you to answer my questions. I won't post them for a third time. This is actually getting quite boring since you can't dialog without getting defensive.

Non-monogamy may not be for you. But that doesn't make it wrong--or inferior--for others.

I never said it was. I really don't care what you do or who you do it with as long as it is with consenting adults.

I've never given you my opinion on polyamory. I just have no need for more labels, pop-science or pseudo-intellectualism. As I've said, you are promoting a practice, encouraging 20-somethings to take a look but you admit to no long-lasting successes.

What is there to see?

[mrk2010]

Mr Kay.... I take it you got a high sex drive then to keep eyes on you

What u mean by that? Lol making me sound like some sort of slut.

[DarkDaisuke]

Id probably fall into type 2 but also a little bit of type 3. I've asked myself if I'd be ok with 2 other people in a relationship but I'm not certain and yes I do have doubts. Anyways, I'm certain polyamory exists, its just kinda really looked down upon. Cause ya know a relationship has to be two people, no more. That's the law of the universe *Rolls eyes* Anyways, about type 1 guys, Ive directed in my own mind into two subtypes; guys who have been in relationships to the point that they're sick of them/everything else, or they're just not interested in coming out as gay and are only after sex (Plenty of these guys exist and a little bit of a backstory; When CPAC came around (Conserative Political whatever) I went on craigslist in that area as someone had posted a picture of a whole bunch of postings of young guys who weren't interested in coming out and I'm fairly certain more than half of the type 2 subtype I just listed are those guys, young conservative Republicans.)

[JRiver]

I've never given you my opinion on polyamory. I just have no need for more labels, pop-science or pseudo-intellectualism. As I've said, you are promoting a practice, encouraging 20-somethings to take a look but you admit to no long-lasting successes.

You say I am "promoting a practice," but you're just making that up. It seems real to you, but you've apparently not considered the possibility that there is a distinction between discussing or defending a practice as compared with "promoting" it.

You say you have no need for "labels". Yet you -- as with all speaking people -- are continually using labels for things. I'd love to see you write or talk at any length without using "labels". And I think you're simply throwing around this "labels" thing to provide the illusion that you're saying something. How do you say "Please pass the salt" without labeling the substance? If you go into a store in search of an item and cannot locate it, how do you ask for one?

Oh, never mind. I cannot continue this "conversation" with you when you accuse me of "pop-science or pseudo-intellectualism". Internet fora are just spilling over with such silly accusations delivered by folks who think they are quite clever in being able to use multi-syllabic words. I don't think you know the difference between a real intellectual and a "pseudo" one. I don't need to continue this wheel spinning with you by answering your other questions. I know fly paper when I see it, and you can't get rid of the stuff by touching it.

[azulai]

I think you are afraid of answering my questions for what they might reveal.

The conversation is over as you wish.
Peace.

[JRiver]

I think you are afraid of answering my questions for what they might reveal.

Ohhh. You're a total intellectual badass, aren't you? You win, because you can call me a pseudo intellectual and I grow weary of that sort of crap and quit. Good for you!

I'm quitting this forum. I don't need this s**t. Goodbye all.

[zeon]

Please remember people dont take things personally in any convo this is just a forum and nothing personal should occur
#
Aunty Zeon
Gayspeak Agony Aunt

[monk]

I'm quitting this forum. I don't need this s**t. Goodbye all.

Bye!

[Buffylo]

I don't think either the monogamous type or polygamous types should try to force eachother's ideals upon one another... It sucks for the polyamorist who wants to be in a relationship with a monogomist, and it hurts monogomist when they're in love with a polyamorist who is in love with others.... we can't define everyone's definition of love and happiness... we just need to respect everyone has different wants.

I said earlier I can't believe certain aspects of polygamy... that doesnt mean I can't respect that you have them. I don't understand it, but i wont go out of my way to stop you from doing your thing... as a matter of fact, if someone did, I would probably be right there defending you for it. I don't have to understand your beliefs to be willing to defend your right to have them. As long as no one purposefully (and yes, i know things happens) goes out of there way to cross someones boundaries (i.e. force someone monogamous into a polygamist relationship or vice-versa) we should all be able to live mostly happy lives.