Completely Confused! Help Me!

[WhoAmI]

I am a 30s woman, single divorced Mom. i have always been attracted to girls but never acted on it. i even refer to myself as bisexual to a few close friends. but i have never acted on it. out of fear? who knows. I like men, dating, sex and I was married to my highschool sweetheart.
there is a woman i have been attracted to, but what else is new? I have always been attracted to both since I was young.
I recently saw this woman again and I was overwhelemd with this desire to sit with her, get to know more about her, kiss her. we were chatting online one day and i told her we should hang out (by the way she is a completely out lesbian) the minute she said sure we should hang out i was left with this overwhelming feeling that i wanted more than anything to go out with her. my hear started pounding, my palms were sweating. i left work and i was on the train feeling like i couldnt breathe, and the tears came out. that was yesterday and i had the hardest time falling asleep the same nervous feeling in my chest.
i have never felt this strongly about a woman before, and i dont really think its about her specifically. its like that desire opened the door and now i have no clue what to do. i was married i have a kid i mean yes i have always been attracted to women, but to men too, intensely attracted to men. i love sex with men! yet this is like a bombshell like God himself whispered a secret in my ear and i cant ignore it. What am i supsosed to do? what does this mean??

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Most likley you are bisexual - meaning you can find emotional and perhaps sexual satisfaction with a person of either gender as long as they are the right kind of person - meaning one who 'trips your trigger'.

Seems to me she trips your trigger in many ways.

What to do - Befriend her - without expectations of 'more' then once you are comfortable with her tell her how you are feeling.

It sounds easy, but it won't be.

"Go with it" is a phrase you may want to think each time you have feelings/desires/whatever. That is only if you want to go with it.

You may want to seriously consider why it is you are 'scared' - those reasons may reveal to you how you should proceed. Of course its ultimately up to you to decide what to do with your life.

I suspect that you already made a choice subconsciously to try it since you set up this friendly meeting to see if friendship would work.

BTW welcome to Gay Speak. Hope to see you around more.

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome to gayspeak. Be true to your self. If you like this woman I say go for it. Also take it slowly there no need to rush take one step at a time.

[Nick9]

Hi and welcome to GS.

Opened the door, whispered in your ear, that sounds more than familiar.
Enjoy the new yourself and new feelings and thinking about new possibilities. You can be happy or be hurt by both men and women, but the exploring of your new, not that much known, side can be very interesting and can help you grow and decide what is important and what you really want. Not just in a relationship - men/women - but in your life as a whole

Good luck

[pellaz]

welcome to gs

... You can be happy or be hurt by both men and women, but the exploring of your new, not that much known, side can be very interesting ...

along those lines try not to hurt your partner and know your self. In other words; its a balance of being open with your partner and definitely figure things our inside you before you make it known to your partner.

[Taharka]

I say go ahead and explore this side of you. It's probably going to be a bit scary because it's all new to you but you don't have to rush into anything if you don't want to.

[Rainbowmum]

First let me say Welcome to G.S
Sweetie love does not have a gender.
I assume you are feeling more than just lust for her.

Take a deep breath ,relax and enjoy the ride.
You don't have to rush things , take it slow , and tell her how you feel ,when you are ready and comfortable enough to do so.

We are all here for you.

[DarkDaisuke]

Go for it mam you deserve to be happy