Friendships are like plants... If you dont care for them... they die
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Thanks guys. Now i have a more challenging question to ask you all. How do i convince my brain to forget him sexually? I would love to stay friends i feel like this is ruining it and make it awkward all i really want is friendship but when i see him again my brain just goes into crush/jealous mode. The only thing that brings relief is talking with him, just about anything. but then when i see him again online all i want to do is talk with him, when i dont get to talk to him guess what happens? Depression huge psychic pain. =[
also to the person who said that i need to stop it when it begins i can tell you you are 100% right. I was aware of the sign that i was beginning to crush on him and i let those feelings develop, i need to learn how to stop it as soon as it starts.
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if you stick your hand in fire and it hurts, what do you do?
just saying
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Hey Anonymous,
I'm sure everyone already answered your orig question, but I can totally relate to what your going through. I've been there before and I've come to realize in the end that I was just mistaking friendship for something more. I've had a few guy best friends who I absolutely fell for, they said all the right things. They were so nice to me and I wasn't used to that since all the previous experience I've had with befriending straight guys ended badly once they figured out I was gay.
So when I started to meet these straight guys who were okay with me being gay and just hanging out it was something new to me. I fell and I fell hard for some of them, and I guess you can still say I still have this problem, but I'm working on it.
I've learned to just differentiate between friendship and another kind of relationship. I've also learned to stop daydreaming and thinking about the what-if's and creating scenarios in my head of things that I know will never happen. I've also learned to just be happy that they're happy if they're dating someone.
With some though, I've had to distance myself from them. It's a bit bittersweet, but as much as I didn't want the friendship to end, in the end I knew it will eventually. They started dating people, and I'm happy for them [Really, I am.] And usually when friends [gay or straight] start dating someone, you see less of them. I still keep in contact with a few of my old-straight-guy-besties, but the connection isn't [and probably never will be] as strong as it was before.
I'm not sure if I helped at all, but just wanted to say that your not the only one who's ever been stuck in such a predicament. Good luck though, I'm sure you'll sort it all out eventually :]
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In 1968, i met a straight guy on my firsr day at a new job. He was engaged to his high school sweetheart. i often felt guilty about my love for Tom but my horny desires were greater. I ignored his fiancee and he stopped talking about her. i wanted to lose my virginity to him. I eventually got up the nerve to hand him a Playboy. It had the desired effect. I watched him grow in his tight jeans and finally said "May I?" It worked . I lost my virginity.
Over the years we often got jealous of each other if we felt some other guy was getting too close. I never gave a shit about his heterosexuality or talked about it. he didn;t give a shit about my homosexuality. we never used the word gay. We always made orgasm the goal when we were together. We constantly played games to heighten our pleasure. For two guys who had never seen a picture of guys having sex. we were incredibly inventive.
We even turned jealousy into a game. When Tom hit on a girl at work, it would piss me off. I would walk by and drop a box of paper clips in his lap. I would attempt to pick them up with people watching. Oops I missed the paper clips. I made Tom's cock very hard. I would quietly ask him to stand up and show all the girls how hard another guy got him.
Our relationship was very strange. We never thought amd almost never spoke. Whatever came into our head came out our mouth without editing. we always knew what we were thinking. We were insanely close. Sometimes we couldn't tell each other while having orgasms. We seemed to always orgasm simultaneously.
We often split up because I felt guilty. Tom was very straight and he really liked kids. At one point I simply refused to talk to him for 2 years. In my head, I kept saying "Go away and get married. Idon;t want to ruin your life" Other times I accused him of ruining my life since we couldn't openly be gay.
Sometimes he literally saved my life. I survive to this day because I was with him. I also know I saved his life. Unfortunately I couldn't prevent the stroke that killed him.
He died 14 years ago and I am as madly in love with him today as I was on the day I met him.
We had enormous fights. We said we would kill each other. I had pain that made me feel like i should commit suicide but for some reason I survived. I now wait happily to die so i can get back with him in heaven. A long time ago, we shook hands and agreed what we wanted to do in heaven together. Guys, I can't wait!!! The only thing worth remembering in life are the people you truly love. Every thing else is masturbation and very forgettable. I remember Tom from the first time I saw his brown eyes to the day I closed his eyes and buried him. I had a great life. Thank you God. I am glad I met Tom.
Loving a straight guy worked for me. You can't tell in advance. I wasn't even sure living through it. But it worked fo me. I know that NOW.
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