How to be happy?

[zippyBox]

I've recently come to the conclusion that I seek out relationships because I either don't like to be alone, or I need another person to "complete" me. Naturally, this probably isn't the most healthy mindset, but hey, it's the way I'm wired.

I know I'm not the only one out there like this so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to "find myself" or so to speak. I want to be able to be happy on my own, so when I finally have a functioning, healthy relationship, I can bring more to the table.

I wonder if this has anything to do with my attraction to people who need fixing. Any thoughts?

[LateBloomer]

I've recently come to the conclusion that I seek out relationships because I either don't like to be alone, or I need another person to "complete" me. Naturally, this probably isn't the most healthy mindset, but hey, it's the way I'm wired.

I know I'm not the only one out there like this so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to "find myself" or so to speak. I want to be able to be happy on my own, so when I finally have a functioning, healthy relationship, I can bring more to the table.

I wonder if this has anything to do with my attraction to people who need fixing. Any thoughts?

GREAT questions!

No answers.

Some people live their whole bloody life and never examine themselves in this way.

Give yourself a project. Try to go alone for.....say.....3 months. No dating. Just friends and family and solo activities. Keep yourself busy by volunteering your free time. Helping other people takes the focus off of YOURSELF and your problems, but may also resonate with you on your tendency to "fix people".

In the meantime, do some journaling (keep a diary). Google it if you've never tried. Try to see what you can learn about yourself.

Let us know what you decide to do.

[zeon]

Hello,
The best thing to do is enjoy your singleton until the right person comes along and when it does if your not looking for love it will hit you harder than an ordinary love... Its a nice feeling too.. I hate the silence from time to rtime myself but im enjoying it because being single has no ties so your free to do what you feel oblighed to do mister and enjoy things

Kindest re4gards

Aunty Zeon x

[DoubleDiamond]

I suspect you are on to an answer in your last sentence. Why might you be attracted to people who need fixing?

I used to be like that and I discovered that it was a way for me to avoid vulnerability. As the "fixer" I was always the one in control. Eventually I learned that "we connect at the level of our vulnerability" and I wouldn't have a fulfilling relationship doing the fixer-fixme dance.

[Mrmatty376]

No clue, dude. I'm floating on the same boat. lol