The banshee has a mowed... lawn?
05-01-2012, 09:56 PM
So this morning I'm having my three cups of morning coffee, when I heard the neighbors lawn mower start up, then heard it bog down with 30inches of weeds and grass followed by the familiar sounds of the Banshee wailing.
I went to my window and watched her attempting to mow the grass... ok weeds. Feeling sorry for her (after finishing my coffee first - coffee is the most important meal of the day) I tool my weed eater and some extension cord over.
At first she was suspicious as I told her the grass (weeds) are too high and she will need to cut them down first with the weed eater. After several attempts at teaching her how to use the weed eater effectively, using back and forth motions to 'sweep' the grass down - and many interesting profanities, I ended up saying 'Here, let me do this'.
So I went ahead and starting weed eating the tall lawn down to a more imaginable size. She goes inside to have her coffee or whatever it is that banshees drink (Warm blood?) About a half hour later she comes out and starts screaming at me to stop.
"Your doing it wrong its too high!"
"Well that is why we are going to mow it once I get the majority cleared away."
"No - Do it right!" (or words to that effect, did I mention she has a potty mouth?).
So I stood there 'arguing' with her the fine details of how she allowed her lawn to get knee high to a giraffe and that it needs to be cut down to a size that the mower can handle.
Shaking her head she goes back in for more blood (or whatever) throwing 'Don't mess it up David is going to be angry (David is her husband's name).
So I cut it all down, bundle up the sheaves of hay/straw and carry them over to my compost heap - it will make nice mulch I think. Then I proceed to mow.
Think she was grateful? Oh nooooo. She is screaming 'You killed my Lawn! you f-ing idiot you killed my lawn!'
I tried to explain to her that yes the lawn is going to be brown because it was so tall the bottoms of the weeds died out, but with regular watering it will turn green again.
She doesn't get. She is still screaming and ranting when I tool my toys and went home.
Now Jesus commands us to "love our neighbors" - I have to wonder if Jesus had her in mind.....
:tongue:
I went to my window and watched her attempting to mow the grass... ok weeds. Feeling sorry for her (after finishing my coffee first - coffee is the most important meal of the day) I tool my weed eater and some extension cord over.
At first she was suspicious as I told her the grass (weeds) are too high and she will need to cut them down first with the weed eater. After several attempts at teaching her how to use the weed eater effectively, using back and forth motions to 'sweep' the grass down - and many interesting profanities, I ended up saying 'Here, let me do this'.
So I went ahead and starting weed eating the tall lawn down to a more imaginable size. She goes inside to have her coffee or whatever it is that banshees drink (Warm blood?) About a half hour later she comes out and starts screaming at me to stop.
"Your doing it wrong its too high!"
"Well that is why we are going to mow it once I get the majority cleared away."
"No - Do it right!" (or words to that effect, did I mention she has a potty mouth?).
So I stood there 'arguing' with her the fine details of how she allowed her lawn to get knee high to a giraffe and that it needs to be cut down to a size that the mower can handle.
Shaking her head she goes back in for more blood (or whatever) throwing 'Don't mess it up David is going to be angry (David is her husband's name).
So I cut it all down, bundle up the sheaves of hay/straw and carry them over to my compost heap - it will make nice mulch I think. Then I proceed to mow.
Think she was grateful? Oh nooooo. She is screaming 'You killed my Lawn! you f-ing idiot you killed my lawn!'
I tried to explain to her that yes the lawn is going to be brown because it was so tall the bottoms of the weeds died out, but with regular watering it will turn green again.
She doesn't get. She is still screaming and ranting when I tool my toys and went home.
Now Jesus commands us to "love our neighbors" - I have to wonder if Jesus had her in mind.....
:tongue:
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
) ambush her and exercise the demons out of her:biggrin:
