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New to Everything
#1
I'm turning 24 in a week and a half and I've been attracted to men since I can remember but I finally just began to come out of the closet. I've only told a few people so far but it felt so liberating to do it. I graduated from college in December and now that I'm open, I feel that I started a second life.

I grew up in a religious family and was always taught that being gay was a sin. An early family memory I have is being on vacation in Florida and Elton John comes on the radio in the car and my mom turned the station and said "We don't listen to people like him." She has a tendency to speak on behalf of the entire family and my ears bleed when she starts a sentence with "we" because something hateful or ignorant usually follows it. I haven't driven in a car with her in years but I wonder if she still changes the station when Tiny Dancer comes on.

With a homophobic mother and obviously going to an average public school in America where ignorance is tolerated, I was convinced that there was some mistake and that I couldn't be gay. In my early teens I felt guilty and that there was something wrong with me. From the time I was 16 until about last year, I felt I tried to convince myself I was straight. And in the last year or so I acknowledged to myself that I'm gay but I believed I'd be in the closet forever. I dated a girl for a year and a half and I'm not yet sure if I should tell her (we hang out on occasion and are on good terms). She asked if I was gay several times when we were dating, I have wandering eyes, I guess. I also don't know how or if I will tell my parents but I won't let their views affect my life. I've only told my closest friends so far (1 of them is gay) so I knew I'd be accepted but I know down the road I'm probably going to start losing people that don't accept me. It scares me.

The main reason I came out is because I started to have feelings for a straight friend, my absolute best friend. We are sharing an apartment from last August until the end of this month. Even though I won't act on them, they are the first feelings I've had for a guy where sucking his dick wasn't a top priority (but would love to go down him). I just want to be with him. I realized that if I can feel that strongly about a man than I need to stop pretending to be straight. He was the first person I came out to (thought I left out the details about him).

Anyway, I'm out of things to say. I have degrees in English and creative writing so I'll probably have a lot of long winded posts. My apologies in advance! :biggrin:
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#2
Hello, welcome. You seem like an interesting person Spiny
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#3
Hey! Welcome to the forums.

Congratulations on coming out to your close friends and accepting your sexuality. Can't have been an easy thing to do given your homophobic parents and religious upbringing. I hope one day they can learn to accept you for who you are.

Does the girl you dated still have any romantic feelings for you or does she see you just as a friend? If she sees you as a friend I'd tell her, because she'll find out sooner or later and it's probably best she hears it from you (in my opinion). Plus chances are she might know deep down, especially if she asked you several times when you were dating.

Straight crushes on friends suck! But I'm glad you aren't going to act on it! Not all straight guys accept gay guys, so it's great that your friend has and you wouldn't want to push him away by making a move on him. I hope everything works out for you!
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#4
Hello and welcome!
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#5
First of all, G Day and welcome to Gayspeak Wink

Secondly
Quote: I know down the road I'm probably going to start losing people that don't accept me. It scares me.
<- don't be scared, the people that you lose when they find out you are gay were not TRUE friends to start with, so you shouldn't see it as your loss, start seeing it as THEIR loss as they have let their bigotry get in the way of a friendship. I truely hope that this doesn't eventuate, because yeah I know it sucks, but that's life hey?

All the best, and I look forward to reading more of you Wink
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#6
Congrats on coming out and welcome Smile
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#7
Welcome aboard and I know just how you feel I came out last year myself and as people on here can tell you I struggle a lot with the religious views myself.
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#8
Hi Confusedmile: Congrats on getting this far, I know how difficult it can be to accept your sexuality and how scary the idea of telling people is (you've already done more than I have there!) I'm obviously no expert on coming out :tongue: but I'm sure you'll meet loads of people on here who can help, and others like me who are going through the same thing as well. Hope you enjoy it here :biggrin:
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#9
Your story is going to sound so familiar to many people on here. We've all been through something similar - you're not alone.

Welcome! Wavey
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#10
welcome to gs

seems like you are doing well. Nothing much to add as your handling it. you know you dont have to come out to anyone except your self. Why be in a rush for people who cant be a positive emotion for you.

Till your totally self supporting, why does your family need to know? Parents are not gods and you owe them less than you think if they were not 100% there for you growing up. If your mother is homophobic likely she is not sure on her sexuality. The only way she could raise a family is keep her view narrow and pre defined with her religion.
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