05-04-2012, 08:25 AM
I don't know what to do. I really don't want to talk to my friend. Yes, the friend that I've been whining about for the past forever. I'm tired of my feelings towards him and this wall that keeps me apart from him. He still "talks" to me, but we don't talk like we used to. This friendship is getting dry and pathetic. It's like trying to trying to save a dead plant by watering it. It's just making a mess.
Anywho, problem is, I don't know how to tell him how I feel. I don't know if i should tell him about how I've felt towards him for the past few years. I don't know if I should try to just make this relationship last or to just give up on it. He doesn't talk to me like he used to, I don't know anything about him anymore, I don't even know if he's with the same girl.
I don't know how he'll take any of this either. I mean, I can just play along until he just slowly cuts me off then feel like shit or I can just end it now and have him feel like shit. I dunno, I just don't want to deal with this anymore. It hurts, I'm starting not to like him, and I really just want to let go and meet other guys who I actually may have a shot with. I don't want to be stuck on a guy who doesn't care about me and just wants someone to know what weird shit he's been doing with his girlfriend. I'd like someone to make conversation with, someone who asks me about my day, someone who won't keep things from me or lie to me.
But yeah...I just don't know what to do with this guy. I hate him, but I'll always love him. I don't want to be stuck in this dead end. I've always been the one who held the friendship together anyways. I've always had to apologize in order for us to make up. He won't say sorry for anything. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm asking...
Anywho, problem is, I don't know how to tell him how I feel. I don't know if i should tell him about how I've felt towards him for the past few years. I don't know if I should try to just make this relationship last or to just give up on it. He doesn't talk to me like he used to, I don't know anything about him anymore, I don't even know if he's with the same girl.
I don't know how he'll take any of this either. I mean, I can just play along until he just slowly cuts me off then feel like shit or I can just end it now and have him feel like shit. I dunno, I just don't want to deal with this anymore. It hurts, I'm starting not to like him, and I really just want to let go and meet other guys who I actually may have a shot with. I don't want to be stuck on a guy who doesn't care about me and just wants someone to know what weird shit he's been doing with his girlfriend. I'd like someone to make conversation with, someone who asks me about my day, someone who won't keep things from me or lie to me.
But yeah...I just don't know what to do with this guy. I hate him, but I'll always love him. I don't want to be stuck in this dead end. I've always been the one who held the friendship together anyways. I've always had to apologize in order for us to make up. He won't say sorry for anything. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm asking...