dunno if i am suffering from depression

[Anonymous]

i have been crying often for the past few months.

due to loneliness. it seems to be quite painful to be alone. i wish i have someone near me.
let it be a friend or a lover. tears well up in my eyes whenever i see a group of friends laughing and enjoying each others' company. a part of me yearns for such a company.

looking at a couple holding hands or wedding photos at facebook, it keeps reminding me of the fact that i'm still single and do not have a boyfriend. and my crying begins as well.

i am looking for a companion to able to share my life with. and the absence of that companion is paining me a lot.

i dunno if i am going through depression because i don't know when was the last time i was happy. i tend to get emotional and cry easily these days.

sometimes i wonder whether i should end my life, my life was never joyous before. i sometimes feel i'm not worthy to live like other normal people in this world. i have been denied many things in life from young and i dunno if this will continue until my old age...

[TwisttheLeaf]

I would say, from what you are describing, that you are absolutely suffering from a pretty severe depression. I would suggest starting to see a therapist prior than trying medication as a solution. Sometimes talk therapy with a professional is enough to make the difference and turn things around. If it's not, they'll let you know.

[himself]

If you're suffering, you shouldn't feel bad at all about seeking help.

[MikeW]

Sounds like depression to me.

Things like this are complex. I can understand why you posted anonymously but it isn't something you need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. MANY of us go through this kind of thing at one time or another in our lives. It's part of what it means to be human.

So… the question is what to do about it. As others have said, you may very well need to see a therapist… and meds might be prescribed. These can help. As for whether or not you're going to be alone all your life -- that's a tough one. SO many variables in it. But what IS possible is to come to love one's self enough and to enjoy one's life enough that being alone isn't *that* big a deal. It doesn't have to be 'the one thing' that makes your life not worth living.

[Wolfpack]

Sounds like you are, best thing to do is get yourself the help you need and on the road to recovery.

[Anonymous]

I recently went through the same sort of issues. I would just burst into tears in work randomly and have these mini breakdowns quite often. It would work out 5-6 times a day spaced over a two week period and got pretty intense.

I still get the odd version of this now and again now and I do question whether I am depressed. My downfall is that I've latched onto a straight mate and somehow think maybe I see him in another way - and I am fully aware he can be a controlling factor on my moods.

Anyway back to the original post. I found that I was suffering from anxiety more than depression and it turned out that seeing certain things would trigger that anxious feeling which would build up more and more and the only outlet I have is to cry. From the crying I would then struggle to catch my breath, struggle to regain control and feel everything was spiralling - the more I got involved the more I would be losing myself.

Its somehow left me a fear of being alone which is a whole different issue. If you have feelings about taking your own life I would say it is depression. I had similar feelings but it wasn't so much taking my own life, it was removing myself from other peoples lives because I feel I bring them down.

The only thing I could do was see a doctor and go from there. The road isn't easy and it isn't bright, but neither is crying when seeing everyone else around you happy.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Death isn't all its cracked up to me. Trust me, been there, done that - hated it. Well hate is an awfully strong word.....

Yes you sound like you have depression. Thoughts of self murder, wanting to die are typical of severe depression.

I would suggest either seeking out professional help (psychiatrists and psychologists) or you can try the suicide hotline: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=suicide+hotline since I have no idea where you are posting, you might have to Google for your nation.

An interesting read can be found here:

Empty Man Syndrome Why some men get stuck in depression
Post published by Alex Korb Ph.D. on Mar 01, 2015 in PreFrontal Nudity

Seems like you got other stuff going on which may be complicating your case.

While having friends and all of that is good (read the article), relying on an outside source (a friend or a lover) to make you feel better isn't going to cut it. There is medications and therapy, therapy gives us coping skills, teaches us new ways to think about our emotions, teaches us other practices which allows us to overcome our depression, and most importantly it allows one the opportunity to address the foundational cause that started the depression in those cases where situations causes depression.

Mind you, depression can be 'taught' to the brain. Being sad all the time for a long enough period of time 'rewires' brain functioning to make you sad(der) all the time. Thus addressing the starting cause often helps to break this interesting chain.

A lover won't do this for you, well unless that lover is a psychologist and decides to get involved with you to be your therapist and lover. I think that may be unethical.

[ShiftyNJ]

Agree with everybody above. Need to talk this through with a professional and understand what's happening, whether it is chemical in nature or just a response to your surroundings.

I don't know where you are in the world, but I can tell you that the weather we are having this winter is doing a job on my emotions too, making everyday lows seem worse.

As lonely as you feel, it would be better to get yourself into a healthier emotional place before trying to date, for the simple reason that -- if it doesn't work out -- you're going to feel worse. You need to able give your share in a relationship for it to successful.

[Albie]

Sounds like depression to me.

I agree with everyone suggesting to seek help. If you try to find someone in your state, you will likely try to grab the first guy to pay attention to you and may wind up being taken advantage of and wind up in a worse state.

[Barefoot]

I can well relate to the OP. I used to be exactly the same. I would feel lonely and I would cry when I wasn't expecting to and it would go on all day sometimes. At the time I thought it was my circumstances, living alone as I do and it was much worse in winter. After doing some research I became willing to seek help. I spoke with my doctor and he prescribed meds. However, what he prescribed helped somewhat but not enough and I still felt miserable. I told him it wasn't working and he changed me to a different medicine. Since then I've had no more crying days and for the first time I've made it through the winter without being depressed. I wouldn't have thought it possible but it was. I can't say whether it will be as simple for you but a pill once a day made a different man of me.