Bitterness

[Anonymous]

Oh, well don't give me that shit
I have never said that. I have a very nice thread here myself. It's still "damp from the ink." Just two days ago I was thinking if it would be better to be hit by a subway train or a bus.
My great therapist said to me, that everybody had issues and dealt with them, and I must to. Then he kicked me out.
So, trust me, I know where you are at

So you are not sure what is the trigger for your dark thoughts? Why do you hate your life? Is it because you are gay/lesbian, because you are alone, has been dumped, lost your job, moved far away from your friends?
Knowing that it would be easier to give you advice and some love

Just know, that you would be missed.

Where is the fun in that when you wouldn't see it, Anon.

Stay with us and tell us more why you are feeling that way...

Have you ever feeling that no one really understands and there is no hope? All I really just need is someone to talk to in general... Just so tired to explain your self to everyone and yet no one understands why... Its not about me being gay, it can be contributing factor but not the mayor problem. I've just been afraid of saying to much, cause I just feel so ashamed of my self, that nothing ever has or will ever happen to me and with my failure dealing with my depression and without any progress. I don't know where I stand, I need guideline, but no one understands... No one ever will... I need help but I am terrified of asking for help and no one is reaching out to me, terrified as being labeled weak, terrified depending on others, terrified of being terrified... I am purposeless... I have no future vision and everyone is just telling me, nagging on me to get a goal, but one does not simply just come up with something out of nothing... All I know is what I don't want, not what I want in life. My life has just stood still for a year, I feel frozen in time but my body and mind is evolving, and I am seeing things as I didn't use to. Maybe its just a part of growing up and becoming an adult... I've always seen my self to be more mature for my age, but am I really? Cause I don't find any pleasure in partying and binge drinking and ratter stay at home rotting just to let the time pass feeling sorry about my self does that make me more mature then other 19 year olds? What is maturity? In general I've wasted most of my teens rooting behind my computer... I know nothing better... It feels like I've missed out a big part of life, a gap I've tried to fill but I can't as those things I thought I would like doesn't I really do. Just chasing for the quickest path to enjoyment to handle my confusion and depression but unintentionally just feeling deeper and deeper down.

[Nick9]

Hi Anon,
actually I have. Under two thirds of what you have written I can write my name and pronounce it my own post.
If you want to talk, PM me. I am not sure if talking to someone who has similar problems can help you, but I'll do my best. *hug*

[dfiant]

It's all in your head anonymous.

You seem to be running round in circles and banging your head on bricks walls and telling everyone how hard this life is and we are all in the same life.

Suck it up princess, you're life is only what you make of it. You are number 1 and had better start taking better care of yourself or you are just going to end up in a 'woe-for-me' rut and that will not attract people to you.

Help yourself and those around you will be more inclined to help you...wallow in your own self pity and stew in your own bitterness, gawd that is the ugliest side of human anture.

[ChrisFit]

hold your head up high.attack the world.dont let it attack you. you are here for a reason. trust me,it ONLY gets better.

[Nick9]

Suck it up princess, you're life is only what you make of it. You are number 1 and had better start taking better care of yourself or you are just going to end up in a 'woe-for-me' rut and that will not attract people to you.

Help yourself and those around you will be more inclined to help you...wallow in your own self pity and stew in your own bitterness, gawd that is the ugliest side of human anture.

dfiant, that's unfortunately the problem. Depressed people are not able to do that. I had a depression last year than several months were absolutely ok, and I didn't understand how could I have felt that way before. Now, the b* is back and I have a hard time to keep my head above water. You think differently during depression and you are less yourself. People who are willing to listen are in many cases the lifesaver.

[Anonymous]

It's all in your head anonymous.

You seem to be running round in circles and banging your head on bricks walls and telling everyone how hard this life is and we are all in the same life.

Suck it up princess, you're life is only what you make of it. You are number 1 and had better start taking better care of yourself or you are just going to end up in a 'woe-for-me' rut and that will not attract people to you.

Help yourself and those around you will be more inclined to help you...wallow in your own self pity and stew in your own bitterness, gawd that is the ugliest side of human nature

I should just had been quiet

[dfiant]

it all starts with self help

[ManicReptile21]

so lets see- 19- rooted behind a computer- feel like you've missed a chunk of your life. Hello mirror reflection of myself. dont know which member you ACTUALLY are. but i'll tell you what i did the moment i realized all of this. I chose to come out of the closet to many people. I needed change. So on new years i dyed my hair as a reminder to my new lifestyle. To remind myself that things were going to be different. And i must say. things are slowly beginning to snowball. now its not nessecarily going the way i had planned. But i wanted change. and boy did i get it. and though i have this extensively bitter side to myself. i at least have found some strength to stand up in the morning. and i think that's all it takes. beaten and bruised. as long as you can stand on two feet. You'll make it to the top. honestly the only thing that is holding me back is my lack of a job. and let me remind you you have plenty of very epic years in front of you and if you deprive yourself of the happiness that has been shipped out from happyville. then there really is no point in it being shipped out. WAIT FOR YOUR PACKAGE LIKE A GIDDY SCHOOLGIRL. NOT A MR DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I SWEAR IF I BOUGHT YOU THAT NEW COMPUTER OFFA AMAZON IM SURE YOU'D BE ON EDGE TILL THE DAY IT ARRIVED. YOUR HAPPINESS IS THE SAME. BE ON EDGE. AND STOP WHINING ABOUT ITS TARDINESS. BECAUSE IT WILL ALLL BE WORTH IT WHEN IT ACTUALLY ARRIVES.

[dfiant]

Back before the advent of Zoloft and the likes, people were still depressed (In a funk), but the suicide rate was considerably less per capita than it is today...Do the math.

[dfiant]

so lets see- 19- rooted behind a computer- feel like you've missed a chunk of your life. Hello mirror reflection of myself. dont know which member you ACTUALLY are. but i'll tell you what i did the moment i realized all of this. I chose to come out of the closet to many people. I needed change. So on new years i dyed my hair as a reminder to my new lifestyle. To remind myself that things were going to be different. And i must say. things are slowly beginning to snowball. now its not nessecarily going the way i had planned. But i wanted change. and boy did i get it. and though i have this extensively bitter side to myself. i at least have found some strength to stand up in the morning. and i think that's all it takes. beaten and bruised. as long as you can stand on two feet. You'll make it to the top. honestly the only thing that is holding me back is my lack of a job. and let me remind you you have plenty of very epic years in front of you and if you deprive yourself of the happiness that has been shipped out from happyville. then there really is no point in it being shipped out. WAIT FOR YOUR PACKAGE LIKE A GIDDY SCHOOLGIRL. NOT A MR DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I SWEAR IF I BOUGHT YOU THAT NEW COMPUTER OFFA AMAZON IM SURE YOU'D BE ON EDGE TILL THE DAY IT ARRIVED. YOUR HAPPINESS IS THE SAME. BE ON EDGE. AND STOP WHINING ABOUT ITS TARDINESS. BECAUSE IT WILL ALLL BE WORTH IT WHEN IT ACTUALLY ARRIVES.

That's what I'm talking about