How to Break the Ice?

[Jay]

:biggrin:

As I've told Daz.

I did it!

My eyes went wild looking for him after I exited the train station. "Where is he? Walk slowly, Jay. Is that him? Yeah, baby blue shirt. There he is! There he is!"

We were few feet away from each other. I didn't have guts at first. I looked at a different direction whilst walking. But then I remember what Daz and others have said. Chin up and shoulders back as Daz advised. I looked straight at him and cracked a smile. I wasn't satisfied with my smile. I thought it was a bad one. So I gave him another smile. Still a not pretty smile. I greeted him with, "Good morning, mate." My lips were moving but my voice didn't come out.

He looked at me and said, "Hi."

Maybe it was me but he did look nervous.

Anyway that was it.

I know it doesn't sound like a big deal to most of everyone. But that was a breakthrough for yours truly as I'm generally shy and tend to look away from guys that I like.

Thank you everyone.

[LateBloomer]

Good job JAY! I know how big of a step that was for you.

You received a lot of great advice but I'd like to add just a little more.

When we want to break the ice we put all sorts of extra pressure on ourselves. (We think, I need to sound "intelligent"; I need to sound "smooth"; I need to control the "shake" in my voice; I need to be "confident" and STOP the nervous sweat on my upper lip TOO).

:biggrin:

But guess what? Forget all of that. Take the pressure off yourself. You don't need to pick a very intelligent subject. Just pick one you both have in common, like the WEATHER. Because ultimately it doesn't matter WHAT you're talking about; it only matters that you're TALKING--preferably about something that you can both talk about, so that's why it's important to not pick a very heady subject to break the ice.

Whenever someone tries to chat me up, I'm more impressed by the EFFORT than the subject. And if he sounds a little nervous or shy, then I'm VERY impressed by the effort because it's difficult for him but he's still trying.

So let these little details give you confidence to just talk about easy stuff and try to relax if you start to feel a little unsure of yourself. If there is ANY chemistry at all, things will start to come naturally soon enough. If there is no chemistry, well, at least you'll find out and then be free to move on to the next victim....er, I mean, CANDIDATE!


Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
LB.

[dfiant]

Proud of you mate, let the days roll on

[Rainbowmum]

So very proud of you Jay.

[Jay]

Good job JAY! I know how big of a step that was for you.

You received a lot of great advice but I'd like to add just a little more.

When we want to break the ice we put all sorts of extra pressure on ourselves. (We think, I need to sound "intelligent"; I need to sound "smooth"; I need to control the "shake" in my voice; I need to be "confident" and STOP the nervous sweat on my upper lip TOO).

:biggrin:

But guess what? Forget all of that. Take the pressure off yourself. You don't need to pick a very intelligent subject. Just pick one you both have in common, like the WEATHER. Because ultimately it doesn't matter WHAT you're talking about; it only matters that you're TALKING--preferably about something that you can both talk about, so that's why it's important to not pick a very heady subject to break the ice.

Whenever someone tries to chat me up, I'm more impressed by the EFFORT than the subject. And if he sounds a little nervous or shy, then I'm VERY impressed by the effort because it's difficult for him but he's still trying.

So let these little details give you confidence to just talk about easy stuff and try to relax if you start to feel a little unsure of yourself. If there is ANY chemistry at all, things will start to come naturally soon enough. If there is no chemistry, well, at least you'll find out and then be free to move on to the next victim....er, I mean, CANDIDATE!


Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
LB.

LB, I'm still kind of nervous when I see him. He seems that way too. I always concern with the way I smile at him. "Was it nice a smile? No, wait. I need to give a bigger smile. Nope, just a tiny smile would do." Ridiculous, I know.

I thought I was late to see him this morning. I almost reached the monorail station when I saw him. The monorail station is located 50 meters away from the train station. He was on the side of the road. I saw him and I believe he saw me. There were lots of cars and bikes speeding at the time. The traffic light was green. And what did he do? He went Froggie. Thankfully he managed to cross the road safely. I looked at him and he looked at me. He asked how I was doing but for an unknown reason, I was only able to give him a smile whilst staring at him.

Beside smiling and greeting each other with hello, we haven't spoken to each other. Okay so I had the chance to speak to him this morning but I wasted it.

Another thing that I would like to mention is I'm fine with whatever outcome that comes from the train guy and me. If it works, great. If it doesn't, I'm still good. The most important thing is I'm learning to crack my shell. I'm learning to interact with guys instead of walking away from them. So I decided to open myself to the other guys too.

P.S: Thanks Daz and Mum!

[LateBloomer]

LB, I'm still kind of nervous when I see him. He seems that way too. I always concern with the way I smile at him. "Was it nice a smile? No, wait. I need to give a bigger smile. Nope, just a tiny smile would do." Ridiculous, I know.

I thought I was late to see him this morning. I almost reached the monorail station when I saw him. The monorail station is located 50 meters away from the train station. He was on the side of the road. I saw him and I believe he saw me. There were lots of cars and bikes speeding at the time. The traffic light was green. And what did he do? He went Froggie. Thankfully he managed to cross the road safely. I looked at him and he looked at me. He asked how I was doing but for an unknown reason, I was only able to give him a smile whilst staring at him.

Beside smiling and greeting each other with hello, we haven't spoken to each other. Okay so I had the chance to speak to him this morning but I wasted it.

Another thing that I would like to mention is I'm fine with whatever outcome that comes from the train guy and me. If it works, great. If it doesn't, I'm still good. The most important thing is I'm learning to crack my shell. I'm learning to interact with guys instead of walking away from them. So I decided to open myself to the other guys too.

P.S: Thanks Daz and Mum!

You're a smart guy Jay.

And you're right to not put all of your emotional eggs in this one basket. But don't sell it short either!

Take the CHANCE.
Put yourself out there.
At some point you're gonna need to make yourself vulnerable. TAKE IT FROM ME!



Somebody is gonna smash your heart. You need to cross that bridge at some point otherwise you'll never be in a position to be tender with someone else.

See how sick and crazy falling in love can be? You need to be hurt so that you can LOVE.

Say something to him! Something like, "Holy cow, you nearly got flattened when you crossed that road!"

[Gizzie]

Is it my just me or is everyone dying for the next update?!

I have been missing out on the whole crushing and dating thing so much I envy you!

I think you have the right idea though.
What ever comes out of this experience, there is one thing that you can always pride yourself with, and that is to do what most people cannot do even if they have the chance, and that is to say hi to the cute guy in the train.

[mrk2010]

Say HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[myapple]

Give him a friendly smile and say Hi!

[malexander]

All you have to do is speak. It's really not that hard.