He asked for a break, but writes me every day

[thehandthatrock]

Hey guys... so me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half. We really love each other, and have had an amazing connection and wonderful times. Like many relationships, it has been rocky for us... so much that recently he asked me for a break. It's been so confusing that I'm not sure if it's a breakup or a break. I for one know that I want to be with him, but am also aware that we both need to work on ourselves as individuals. None of us were really happy with our lives, so that was affecting our interaction. Since I'm very open about my feelings, I let him know that I want to fight for us, because I truly believe we have something special. He's not very expressive so I don't really know if deep down he wants to get back together in the future. Right after our break/breakup started, he left to the USA for month and a half vacation (he comes back in the middle of September). He said he needed time for himself, to figure out what he wants to do with his life, and not feel the pressure of a relationship at the moment. Deep down,I know we could fix things, if we just focus on ourselves for a while and reunite when we're both individually in a better place. Because I love him, I decided to respect this time apart and give him, and me the space we both need. After he left, I knew nothing about him until 3 days later, when HE wrote me to say hi, and told me that he missed me. Aside from that, we'll ocassionaly text each other.. (I always wait for him to write me, because he's the one that asked for a break). The conversations have been very shallow, devoid of any romantic expressions... I'm pretty much avoiding talking about the relationship and let things flow. My mind is all over the place because for a second I thought we were done forever, but since he wrote me, he'll text me everyday. Does that sound like he just wants to keep the friendship alive, or might there be a chance he wants to get back together in the future? Right now I'm trying to focus on myself and live my life, but the truth is Im in love with this guy and there's no manual on how to deal with a situation like this.

[VirgoMasquerade]

Doesnt sound like he knows what he wants

[thehandthatrock]

It's really confusing for me because part of me was ready to move on, until he started writing. I guess only time will tell.

[IanSaysHi]

It sounds like he's trying to find himself at the moment and it doesn't come across that he's in the right place for a relationship at this point in time. I'd say the messages he's sending are a reflection that people who are off trying to work out want they want from life still need some kind of stabilising element in their lives, which is where knowing you're there ready to reply to his messages comes in. I think for now you may just have to accept it as a good friendship and once he's ready to settle down then maybe you can pursue a relationship again. But if he doesn't want a relationship right now, don't let it leave you indefinitely hanging for him, always leave yourself open to new possibilities.

[Cuddly]

Maybe he wants you to chase him. Is he the type who would play games like that?

Does he know you refrain from texting as respect for his wish for a break? If he thinks you've lost interest already, because you don't text first, that would be a terrible msunderstanding!

[Borg69]

I too think he's playing some kind of passive aggressive drama headgame to get his own way.

Prove yourself. Slay the Dragon. Fight for him. Prove your love.

[Camfer]

It's okay to tell him you love him. He's figuring things out, and he contacts you every day because he doesn't want you to go. Be present, be honest. Things will clear up when he returns.

[thehandthatrock]

Its just weird because he writes me, but the way he speaks is more like a friend... so it's hard to tell if deep down he's considering getting back together in the future, or just implying he wants to remain friends... and i dont wanna be romantic because I feel like I might push him away? I hate playing games (hard to get), but maybe it's the only way to make him vulnerable. Like I said he's not very expressive. For example this morning I said "good morning my love" veru naturally, ans he replied "hey there" which was weird.

[tiredofmyex]

I had the same problem with my GF who is now an ex. When they say they want a break? That's usually not a good sign! My ex put me through the ringer! It started with her wanting to take a break and then I found she was cheating on me and with more than one person. So in retrospect, she was never satisfied with anything. She's always looking for something new and it's based purely on sex! She would also text me. She knew how much I was in love with her. She saw how hard I fought for the relationship. What she really wanted was to keep me as an insurance policy and keep having sex with other girls and I wasn't going to allow that! The break up was horrible! Save yourself the trouble! Don't let him manipulate you cuz that's exactly what he's doing! If he is unhappy with himself, he will not be able to give you the loving relationship that you deserve!

[InbetweenDreams]

That's sort of what I was thinking. I think there is a chance this person might be the manipulative type. I mean if you're done, then be done...friends is one thing but for as fast as all this is happening I'd say something else is up and my guess is that this guy like [MENTION=21828]tiredofmyex[/MENTION] suggest is probably cheating or seeing someone else.