Pix Wrote:My current partner has an interesting story how she knew I was gay before I even knew her (I only vaguely recall her presence from back then) but I'm feeling too lazy to tell it right now. Suffice to say she wouldn't have been able to tell from a pic.
I just described it in another post, so here it is again (almost completely in its entirety) for this thread:
I used to go to a fitness center that had a lot of right wing homophobes (one was even a church group that wore shirts advertising it when they showed up, either together or alone), and were huge fans of FOX. To drive the point home I overheard 2 women saying they avoided the sauna for fear of being molested by lesbians (and I'm a lesbian who uses a sauna, and naked at that, though not only would I not molest anyone or allow any to molest me, if I were they were some of the most unappealing women mentally & physically I ever encountered).
So to protect my membership (a false accusation of sexual harassment in the locker room or sauna would get me banned, no appeal, and might affect my getting membership elsewhere) and my safety (no explanation necessary) I made real sure no one knew or suspected. Though I had a girlfriend who wasn't very good at hiding things who sometimes showed up as well I don't think any suspected her as well. Going by how I was treated and how I was talked to I believe I succeeded. No one realized I was gay.
But unknown to me, at least one DID (who knows how many others?).
She said that she wondered because all the women tend to give cute guys a once over if not actively flirt (even if they didn't mean to go anywhere with it, and in retrospect I know many did flirt because I felt sorry for the male trainers the women requested who were flirted with mercilessly as they had to walk a fine line between not offending a customer and not doing anything that would get him fired), and yet she said if I looked at a guy it was at his face. No matter how fine he was (she's bi, she knows) I showed no awareness of how hot he was. She said I was only slightly more interested in women though at first she didn't consider it conclusive because lots of women give others the once-over (in judging them, not admiring them) and show minor affection and it may have been nothing sexual on my part.
But then she took a kickboxing class with me there which my girlfriend also showed up at. She said unlike me she (who was also a stud, though her being a body builder and martial artist didn't seem out of place there as it would elsewhere) DID scope out other women that was definitely making her gaydar blip. But more than anything she saw how close were were (even if it was mostly in glances and smiles to each other) and whenever anyone (male or female) tried talking to me she would come between us and dominate the conversation and she said she didn't even try talking to me (so in retrospect I have only the vaguest recollection of her having been there) because my stud was a bit "like a rooster."
Luckily she said nothing to no one and after I was single again and she invited me over I was shocked that she knew I was gay ("not even bi").
She had almost no contact with the LGBT community before me either. That's significant because she didn't even have other signs to detect our being gay (like both of us keeping our fingernails short and unpolished, something very good to do if you use your fingers in penetration a lot).