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05-19-2012, 05:29 AM

Why do I feel Jealous, when I make a new friend or start talking to someone new, when I see them online ex: grindr, adam4adam, etc. Why do I have the sense of jealously? Whats wrong w/me?

fredv3b · 05-19-2012, 07:29 AM

Jealous of what?

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05-19-2012, 08:09 AM

Jealousy usually stems from insecurity.
Can you tell us more about the circumstances please?

mrk2010 · 05-19-2012, 10:56 AM

You may feel greatly attached to them and it upsets you that they are having other sexual relationships with other people when you want to be with them.

05-19-2012, 05:59 PM

Why do I feel like this with friends, who are moving in a few months?

05-19-2012, 10:12 PM

Is it jealousy or envy?

Envy is the emotion you feel when you want something someone else has.

Jealousy is the emotion you feel when you fear something or someone might be taken away from you.

Are you:
>trying to control others?
>trying to force the response you desire rather than the response you elicit?
>resentful of what you think others have?
>desiring what you think others have?

I just think it's always important to search inward and see how you can challenge yourself to follow a different path. Self-awareness is the key. Then when you feel these feelings arise you can grab them with your mental hand and let them go.

05-19-2012, 11:55 PM

Perhaps it's seeing them move on , while you feel left behind.

05-20-2012, 12:02 AM

Another way to think of it is like good sportsmanship.

If you win --> celebrate with dignity.

If you lose --> congratulate your opponent, let him have his moment
--> move on and prepare for YOUR next challenge
--> review the game and focus on you and what YOU need to do better

05-20-2012, 12:54 AM

He wants to have a movie night, but I feel like "movies" are code words for "sex" maybe not always but I guess I have a fear of losing someone again. I've lost 2 guys who left w/o a word. So I guess you can say that I am afraid that he will do the same, even though we are just friends/friends w/benefits. I want to have sex w/him, but idk I guesss I feel like if I have sex, he would just leave me later.

06-13-2012, 04:13 PM

I've learned with dating that there's always a high chance of being disappointed. I can understand what you're going through. I think something that you have to learn in order to survive is having an emotional disconnect from guys you date. I got overattached to a guy I hooked up with and he didn't want to go 'personal' or anything like that (though this was because he was deaf and though he dated people who could hear, it 'doesn't work out' for him.)

I think if you think on it there's two sides to sex: sex with emotions and sex without it. I don't think you should confuse passion for emotion though. Those are two completely different things.