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Do I ask for too much?
#1
Greetings everyone! My name is Paul, I am 16 years old and I'm homosexual. I'm not here to ask advice about coming out since it's something I wouldn't even think to do, for now at least. My problem might seem very stupid or uninteresting, but to me it is another reason for constantly felling depressed, apart from my sexual preferences.

I live in a small town of Greece, one of the few European countries that has made so tiny steps to accepting LGBT members so far. Anyway! I've watched quite a few British or American TV series and movies, where love among teen boys was portrayed so pure and ideal. But I don't request this for the time being. Have you ever seen BBC's Waterloo road for example? Josh is an openly gay teen, so is Nate and they start hanging out. If you leave out the rest of their turbulent love story... Bliss!

That is what I'm looking for! A gay friend! Someone of my age that I can go out for a walk, understand each other's fears, express our desire for acceptance, exchange our views of how we could, should or would like to deal with who we are! No relationship, nothing! Just someone to relate! The obstacles? (a) No ''out and proud'' boys in my school to get close to (I suspect a few but they're complete strangers and I can't be certain for their orientation), (b) No spots anywhere near for gay guys, e.g. a support group for homo teens like a few in the US, © I would avoid internet for not only are most of the people in chat rooms horny adults looking for ''fun'' but also, even if there's someone to understand me, it's still cyber-relationship.... no chance to discuss face-to-face, to share a hug when blue... just an image on screen!

For you it might look like I am asking for too much but to me it's something so simple, so natural. ''You're in puberty, when you'll grow up you'll find what you're looking for''; I know. But how am I going to wait all alone until that day? Anyway, I didn't want to sound like a whiner or make you get in trouble reading this huge post and most importantly I demanded no advice... all I wanted was to talk about this burden and to find others who are going through the same thing. Is anyone of you? :\
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#2
Well im 22 now but i can certainly remember how difficult it was before i had any gay friends to relate to. Its a common feeling among youg gays i think.
The problem with internet is like you said...horny adults perving on young lads such as your self.
Although if you look carefully there are sites specific for teen gays etc.
try this one.... thegyc.com
it will show you the members who are living closest to you. And more importantly...a similar age to you.
It was a god send for me when i was 15. I managed to meet my first gay friend on there and we shared everything.
Just have patientce and things will happen for you.
Good luck Smile
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#3
You are asking for pretty much the same thing everyone asks for. A person you can relate to and share yourself with - a friend, a best friend if possible.

We all have periods in our lives when we feel utterly alone with no one who 'relates' to how we are feeling about circumstances in what we believe to be a unique set of life experiences. It is not just a LGBT issue, everyone experiences this at some point in their life.

Eventually you will find that friend - a buddy - not necessarily a lover but a person who can relate with you to certain aspects of your life experiences.
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#4
G Day and welcome to Gayspeak Paul.

Discovering who you are and finding out that you are in a minority can be a lonely process. I understand your wishes for an emotional connection, to be with someone that shares your feelings, as a friend and it can be difficult to find that someone.

I hope some younger members have some websites of interest like Jamie above has suggested.

Hang in there and keep your chin up mate, sometimes these things happen when you least expect it Wink
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#5
Hello,
firstly welcome to the forum.... I would say that it is better to maybe focus on the direction of your life then look for gay friends... The problem with gay people which i found when i first went out is most of them are after ya cock a quick shag andf then drop ya but when u find the ideal people it lasts forever as friends... I am a fan of waterloo road and coming out as gay isnt that bad a deal and I think in greece they should at least do something right and accept gay people exist because if they did this then they may get some extra income to stop the country going to the wall?
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#6
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:You are asking for pretty much the same thing everyone asks for. A person you can relate to and share yourself with - a friend, a best friend if possible.

We all have periods in our lives when we feel utterly alone with no one who 'relates' to how we are feeling about circumstances in what we believe to be a unique set of life experiences. It is not just a LGBT issue, everyone experiences this at some point in their life.

Eventually you will find that friend - a buddy - not necessarily a lover but a person who can relate with you to certain aspects of your life experiences.

I've often said, "Loneliness is THE fundamental human condition."

Look at how much poetry, prose and music has been written on this subject.

We make a mistake when we blame our loneliness on what we think are "defects" (for lack of a better word) in our life:

I'm lonely because I'm---
--LGBT
--overweight
--shy
--my small town
--my big city
--my religious upbringing
--an orphan

Those are all WRONG.

We're lonely because we're HUMAN.

PaulD it's going to be difficult, being so young, in your town, but if stay philosophical about things, set some reasonable goals and apply yourself, you can put yourself in a better position in the future.

And that is basically what life is all about...have a personal philosophy (a code) that you can live by, set a course and SAIL AWAY!

Smile

Bon voyage.
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#7
Hello Paul Welcome
You are not asking for too much, we all need someone at times.
If you find a good friend , regardless of their gender , than you will have someone to share things with.

As for a boyfriend , give it time , you are only 16, you have so much more to discover and accept about yourself.
Be true to yourself.
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#8
a sweet straight girl can be a bit of a help. Often a gay man and a hag will have surprising amounts of things in common and form a strong bond.

Dont lower your standards in you search for the BF.
Dont fall for a straight boy.
-if you do a online post, clearly state them. Be repetitive to crush all hope for those not meeting the standards. Finally be respectful, clear and to the point. I think on-line will work for you. You want someone close by so stipulate how many Km away is acceptable.
-not a lot of available gay boys, normally 3-8% of the population so be patient.
-exchange some text before meeting this person in real life. Meet him in a public place, coffee shop etc. It is not a bad to discuss previous relationships and what both of you plan to get out of the situation.
-discuss the safe sex issue, where how to get free testing, condoms.
-look for common hobbies but also consider the emotional side too. If you tend to be supportive and up lifting look to see if he would value your emotions. Would you value his belief system (religion, sense of right/wrong, etc). Finally look at the differences in his life and see if you would want to incorporate some of his personality and skills into your life.
-Do both of you want the same thing out of the relationship? Do you guys know what you want? How well can you talk to him. Do you guys trust each other and do you appreciate each other like you love your self?????
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#9
Gia sou, Paul, Welcome to GaySpeak : it's nice to see you on this site. I don't know if we can help you but we can surely listen to your problems and maybe cheer you up a bit. Note that even for those who live in countries where it's easier to be gay, some of us still had to wait till we were quite old to find a boyfriend. I know it won't necessarily comfort you, but that's the way it is. At sixteen, I think you can probably still wait a little more till you meet someone to love; For the moment, is it not possible just to have friends? When you have a good friend, it becomes easier to tell them about who you are and they care for you and share your problems, don't they?
Good luck finding those friends or that friend. They must exist.
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#10
:biggrin: Hi Pauly D Wavey

Hey we're two years apart and almost in the same boat!

I can totally relate, but you have to realize that having a person on your hip/arm is not going to fix all of your problems. I don't want to sound mean, but being dependent on another person is not always the best thing.

I was literally glued [okay not literally] to my best friend up until we were 14, and it probably would've went on had we not been seperated and when we were, it totally uprooted my entire way of thinking and being. I don't know how he felt, but it's not a good feeling and I still think about it alot.

It was almost like being twins, but he was the charismatic, outgoing one, always leading and in charge, while I was/still am outgoing, I was mostly quiet and the voice of reason, complimenting his fiery personality.

But when we were seperated, it was so weird, because I felt like I had no one to lead me or take me exploring or get out of trouble.

It took me awhile to become more independent & I realized that though having him was nice, it's also good to be able to stand on your own legs and take charge of your own life.

I definitely feel the same way as you, because for 14 years I constantly had someone at my side and now that he's not I really want to fill that space, but I've learned to be able to survive and live by myself.

It seems hard right now, and I totally understand cause I was 16 not too long ago, but it will get better and you will be much more appreciative of it the later it comes. You'd be surprised how much you'll mature and grow and when you do, that person will definitely "pop up".

But in the meantime, I would suggest just trying to find something that makes you happy and perhaps make a friend or two. I live on a small island with little to no LGBT anything, so I can also relate on that front. You just have to be strong and keep your head above the waves.

Bighug
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