I just had the air knocked out of me

[ManicReptile21]

Remember in November when i outed myself to the guy i had a crush on and he said he didnt feel that way about me? I think my life hit a major lag spike in that instant. I left feeling better that i had gotten it off my chest. A few moments ago he declared he was in a relationship with a woman. And i literally had the air knocked out of me. Like i have this giant lump in my throat as i type this and i think i'm gonna throw up. I think i'm seriously going to throw up all my intestines right now. I dont know whether to cry right now or to go into a swirling rage or what. I fell in love with a straight guy and now I'm about to experiance some really bad side effects. Oh god----I don't feel well at all.....

[princealbertofb]

Lewis, but maybe it would be better if you did throw up. You'll feel better afterwards, and please, do have that good cry. It'll get it out of your system... It'll get him out of your system. Sorry it had to go that way, but you have just experienced a major disappointment, and a true heartbreak. Please let us know that you are all right. You've invested far too much emotionally in this non-relationship. Can it be salvaged by an honest friendship? Will you be able to face him now? Maybe it'll be best if you break off completely. That's for you to decide...
Chin up, babes... It's no use crying over spilt milk, as they used to say. I won't say Plenty More Fish in the Sea, as we all know that's not so true for us, but somehow this guy was definitely not meant or you. I think he tried to tell you himself, but you still had a hard time believing him. Well, he's gone and done the only thing that can sever that awkward relationship. If he really is straight, then it's pointless to hang on to him as a 'romantic partner'.

[Sylph]

Aw Lewis .

Princey is right, a good cry will help loads .

I had a crush on a guy in middle school, and I seriously though he liked me cause he used to give me looks and stuff and one day he got together with my female cousin!!!

That was probably one of the most infuriating moments in my life, and I almost never get mad.

He said I was "so innocent", but in a condesending way and I felt so stupid.

Then, I saw him flirting with another girl and got mad again, because now he was cheating on my cousin. I told her so many times and she never believed me, until I made her come with me one lunch-time and we snuck around by the lunch tables and we saw him with his arm around this girl.

At first she was stunned, then she got mad at me for showing her and then she just ran to the girls room and cried. I ran in after her[it's lunch, no one was there] and we cried alittle together, cause he fooled us both, though her more than me.

But in the end, we just had to move on and not let it destroy us. Life is to short to stress over small stuff and if he wants to move on, then let him go I say.

You wouldn't want someone else holding you back from love, so you shouldn't hold them back, no matter how much it hurts mile: .

[Ps. - The girl the guy cheated on my cousin with, eventually gave him mono, cause she was kissing every guy in the school and he broke up with her, but not after everyone found out! So alittle revenge helps sometimes ]

[Pps. - Don't worry Lewie, someone deserving of your heart will come along and sweep you off your feet and into his house :biggrin:.]

Kisses!!!

[Bookworm]

Hi Lewis, yes, I remember your post about him, and most of us advised you to be honest with him about your feelings, which you were. This scenario was inevitable but it still always comes as a shock as we can still live in hope and ponder the "what if's" and convince ourselves that it can all work out in our favour, despite the odds.

Crushes do wear off in time, and perhaps this is what was needed in order for you to step away emotionally and disconnect from those crushing emotions. I've had many crushes in my time, and I can honestly look back on most of them and think, WTF was I thinking! The ones that still linger in memory are just that, happy memories now, and don't hold sway over me.

Time can be a great healer, which is not something you want to hear in the 'here and now' as the hurt is so fresh, but you will get through this. Get that notebook of yours out if needs be, I know writing helps you channel out your feelings (I have one too, full of mad poetry) mile:

Take care

[Dan1980]

Have a good cry. Time is a great healer.

[dfiant]

Lewis. 100% with PA. My heart goes out to you, just give yourself time to grieve.

[zeon]

Hiya,
I would say the best thing to do is be happy for him because at the end of the day if you face facts as they are it was just a crush one that began to grow deep however you knew deep down that maybe there wasnt any chance of getting anywhere because of how he was... Dont beart yourself up and dont be reserved to him just warm to his news and be happy... In life we cant have everything we want and this is an example

big hugz x

[Rainbowmum]

Lewis , I am so very sorry sweetheart.
I also agree with PA, have a really good cry.

[James]

Don't feel alone, many of us have gone down this same path, you will find someone who is honest and gay, maybe tommarow, maybe in a few years, but it will happen, Jim

[ManicReptile21]

thanks you guys for caring---I can't believe im not that woman. I cant believe i'll never have that love he's giving her. It really twists my insides. But---you're all right. I have to wish him the best. I did it to myself. it doesnt stop me from being so upset. But i'm going to try and not be bitter. I'm think it's time to really cut him out of my life and find someone else who's better. It sucks losing your best friend and crush in one swoop. I realize i no longer have influence over him- I pretty much am useless to him. Probably my fault. But he's also useless to me. He's just something for me to hate. And thats no way to have a relationship. I have to start fresh. But i cant even think about that right now because my head is full of alot of jabber and i'm trying to clear my mind once and for all. I'll focus on me for awhile. Until all my hesitations,priorities,and emotions are all sorted out. It really hurts, but maybe this is good pain- like pulling a splinter out of your thumb.