Experimentation, go with the feelings of the moment, you never know how to swim until you get in the water. Have confusion over sexuality is very normal, so don't sweat it. Go out have fun and ride with the moment, you're only young and are allowed to make mistakes.
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I've been talking to one of my gay friends, a guy I've known for a long time now. There's no way we're going to meet up, with each of us living on nearly opposite sides of the US of A, but the conversations are somewhat helping me get more of a grasp on my interests. We aren't sexting or anything, in case that's what it sounds like we're doing. (God, I hate saying the word "sexting." Even typing it out is, just, ugh.)
I still need to work on being more social, too. I think my low self-esteem is another factor in all of this. It's sort of like, when I actually evaluate myself I see that I'm not that bad looking, and my personality is alright. I sort of have this doublethink going on though were, along with those views, emotionally I can't help but see myself as unappealing physically and personality-wise. I'm a tad overweight but certainly not really fat, and I've gotten into an exercise routine that has helped me shed some of that extra padding, but my mind is still stuck in the past, when I was heavier. I might start looking up ways to deal with that.
I just have to say again that I really appreciate the feedback that you people have given me. I never - repeat, never - talk about this stuff with people I know in real life, so it's been a long time since I've had the chance to discuss any of these things.
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