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Did you ever commit suicide?
#21
I agree with you, gilhooly!!
I was on zoloft amongst many others and decided to stop taking them because as much as it made me feel ok for once, it also made me feel nothing.

As for suicide, I tried several times.
Couple of times, I took every single pill I had and downed it with alcohol.
I woke up twitching and throwing up and drowsy for days.

Then I threw myself in front of cars.
Again, failed attempt but people called the cops on me, and got tied down and shipped off to a mental hospital.

And not to mention the irresistible lure of the train/ subway when you are depressed.
In tokyo it is so easy to just throw yourself off the platform and die.
But you ( your family) will get a huge bill from the train company later, so its not a very cost effective way to go. Tongue
I am glad that I havent thought about suicide in many years now.
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#22
I did once, long, long time ago. When I woke up in the hospital, I decided to change my life for the better. The most important decision of my life.


jaxc Wrote:I haven't really thought about suicide per say, but my family does sometimes make want to blow my brains out:tongue:

doesn't this happen to everyone? don't get me started on my family Wink
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#23
I don't have a story to add, but I just wanted to say I love you all and that I'm glad you're still here.
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#24
I guess it's my turn, I tried before by hanging myself in the attic of our garage. the rope was no good and I feel that I wanted to fail at it but I felt so alone and since middle school I have always been the one doing all the work at home and its the same way at my job, everyone gives me a list of crap to do while they sit back and do nothing. later that year I still felt suicidal so I loaded a shotgun in the garage and stared at the barrel for an hour but couldn't pull the trigger. still not satisfied at 23 I was in the garage again getting ready to try the rope a second time but a man doing an appraisal on our house walked up to the garage, he didn't see me but it was close enough for me to stop.

I never got the feeling of becoming a new person and I don't think it would go well if I came out. my friends and family are not gay-friendly, I've heard about gay people going to hell ever since I was a kid and most of my family believe that we are all pedophiles. I still feel alone, angry, and my depression is on and off but not suicidal. you guys helped me through some of my depression and I am extremely grateful for that I just hope I can turn things around sometime soon.
[Image: tumblr_n60lwfr0nK1tvauwuo2_250.gif]
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#25
I did try once years ago...thank goodness that it was a failure! It was a dark point in my life, but I can happily say that I'm past it and looking forward to my future. Smile
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#26
I have nearly attempted many times, and really attempted once via overdose. As I was blacking out my final thoughts were "But I want to live!". I learned from that, as I realized despite all the pain and problems that I still wanted to live. I'm glad my attempt failed. Unfortunately it didn't get me the attention I was hoping. I did it in the living room and no one in my family even noticed.
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#27
ElfiexElfSeeker Wrote:no one in my family even noticed.

That reminds me of what someone told me. He said while he was in the military one of the soldiers wrapped a cord around his neck and threw the floor buffer out the window...only to hit the ground before the cord ran out. And to compound his bad luck a superior officer or whatever saw the buffer go out the window and crash on the sidewalk and ran in to catch him. He got some kind of discipline (I forget what they call it, but I recall thinking it sounded very bureaucratic) which ordered him to extra duty...specifically buffing the floors. I know it's so bad, the guy needed help, but (and the guy who told me this feels the same)....Rofl

ETA: I do sympathize, however. I tend to forget that many people don't find solace in humor (especially the graveyard kind) as I do and can sometimes think I'm being glib or flippant. I'm not. I've just learned it's better to find ways to laugh about life because the alternative is to cry over it.
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#28
Honestly I wish I did commit suicide. I probably will within a few years.
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#29
I've contemplated it a few times over the past 20 or so years (I think most everyone does at some point), but I don't think I could. I wouldn't want to hurt my loved ones like that.
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#30
No way gurl!

I got 5 younger siblings, a single mother, my grandmother and animals who care about me, and not to mention Albertha[my Viola] would miss me like crazy!

I have too much to live for and I would never allow myself to get that low, no offense to anyone else. It's just not in my nature.

I'm a Libra Loveya
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