06-11-2012, 01:22 PM
i am so upset. i never thought i was a lesbian. all through my life i have had crushes on guys. when i was 14 i fell in love with a girl and i tried to kill myself over her and my family knows about that. i have dated three or four guys but i havent fallen in love with any of them. this year i met someone and i thought that he was my soul mate we connected instantly we were like best friends from day one but i couldnt fall in love with him and i felt like something was missing. i broke up with him after 2 months of dating, and then we got back together again which was a mistake but for the next few months i was just forcing it, i was using him because i was scared. now we are finally broken up and i am so disappointed i dont know where to go. how is it possible to have had crushes on guys but to think you are a lesbian? i know that when i was a child i used to have sexual thoughts about girls. but i know too that there are guys i am interested in even today, but maybe i am not attracted enough? i have this feeling that i will never fall in love with a man and that i am supposed to be with a woman and is that what i am supposed to base my orientation on? even though i am attracted and drawn to some men?