Taking the first step--where to start?

[Noname86]

I'm a 26 year old bi/curious male living in NYC, and I'm new to this forum. I've noticed my attraction towards guys since 9th grade. I always brushed it off as a phase, but even with relations with females it still hasn't gone away. I've come to terms with my feelings, but have never acted on them.

I really want to explore my feelings with a guy, but I'm hesitant to take the first step. All of my friends are straight, and I want to stay discreet until I have an experience. I always bump into people i know in clubs so I'm afraid of running into someone I know....and I'm not into the online quick hookup thing. I want to get to know someone. Does anyone have advice?

[Nick9]

Hi Noname,

perhaps you could try a LGBT center in your area?

[pellaz]

always look for a relationship vs a one night thing but either way you evaluate your interests, participate in a gay basket ball league or really any gay club event.

the accepted method is on line and millions have had success. there are some really sweet sites that take the edge off it and some that are more aggressive.

be truthful with the people you meet

[gilhooly]

If you want to find love in NYC, unvarnished truth always worked for me. I lived my life from 5/2/46 to 6/21/68 in Harlem and Washington Heights. I was hired by a recruiter from a national accounting firm headquartered in Chicago. The national firm was annoyed that no gentiles worked in the Wall St. I was warned to expect some troubles from the rich sons of non-gentiles who controlled the NY office. I shrugged it off. I grew up on the streets of Manhattan and knew how to handle myself. I was gay, a marine and confident in my abilities. The marines wanted me to reup since I had a perfect score on their IQ test. They offered me any embassy or the White House to stay in. I had a lot of job offers to choose from. I knew I could handle anything some sissies from Long Island or Fifth Ave could try.

I was told I would meet another gentile called Tom from Iowa. I hoped this guy Tom wouldn't be a total asshole. I liked the idea of a fair fight with some creeps from downtown. I had been raised in a gang culture maintained by the IRA. I knew how to do my duty as a marine and a pretty good stret fighter. My family name allowed me to drink for free in many local bars on the west side of Manhattan.

About 8:45 I arrived on Wall st. My dad was a hard working union member at Macy's. Tom walked in at the same time. I looked at his beautiful brown eyes and fellmadly in love with him. Hedied 14 years ago and I am still madly in love with him. My love affair endedwithin 5 minutes or so it seemed. We arrived wearing the exact same suit from Barney's. I laughed because it seemed funny. tom thought it was tragic that we wore the same suit. He sugested he would go home and wear another suit. It would be terrible if the non-gentiles saw us in the same suit. I stared at him and asked, "What the fuck difference does it make what those assholes think. Assuming they can think>" Tom said, "You sound so angry at me are you mad at me, John." "I wll be if you keep asking me stupid questions, asshole. Keep your hands off me, buster."
Tom went on, "In my hometowm all the guys hated me because I wouldn't play sports. I only played with girls in Iowa. I can't wait for my fiance to come to NY. Will you be my friend until she arrives, John. I feel really lonely John and I've never talked to a guy. Will you talk to me John?" "What the fuck is wrong with you.. If you want to talk, talk. You don't need my permission to talk. We have free speech in this country. Don't they have free speech in Ohio?' Tom gets testy, "I an from Iowa not Ohio, John>" "Like I care where you hicks come from. Go fuck a cow and leave me alone." I looked at him and saw tears welling up in his brown eyes. I couldn't believe this guy was goig to cry. I took out a handkerchief and told him to blow his nose. He blew for 3 minutes. "Give me my snot rag back. And stop overusing my name. I don't want a lot of creeps seeing me standing with a weeping Christian." "John, all the guys in my hometown have hated me since birth. I don't play sports but I have a high IQ. That's why girls all love me so much. They think I am very intelligent and am a risque guy. I only played with girls all my life. Will you play with me John?"
"Try this game Tom, try to stand up and act like a man." "I don't know how to be a man John. Can you show me how to stand up and be a man, John?""You are just trying to anoy me, aren't you?" "No John, I really like you. I want you to like me. John." "OK Tom. I like you. You happy?" "Not yet, John. I want you to be my best friend in NY.." Tom giggled {his first giggle of about ten thousand giggles, I like being the only guy who heard Tom giggle] "I want you to love me too." I was caught red faced. He was looking at the hardest erection I ever had in my life. The bastard was enjoying it. I knew the other rich guys were coming and I didn't to be seen with a weird wimp from Iowa amd a very noticeable hardon..

I am not sure how to describe what happened between Tom and I. We developed a different form of communication, Call it automated talking. What came into our heads came out our mouths. The feelong was one of complete ruthfulness. Whatever we knew on a topic simply spilled out or somehow wound up in each others head. Maybe we became telepaths, I don't know. I know that whatever I knew Tom learned it instantly from me. The reverse was true. My mom once told that 2 people can get so close that wind up sharing one soul. Whatever effects one person effects the other person at the same time. Despite Tom's death in 1997, I still see and hear Tom's presence. I believe in ghosts. In 1969, weagreed to spend eternity together and shook hands on the deal in the presence of God. People find occult stuff to stupid to believe. OK with me. I have my beliefs. You are entitled to have yours.

To meet a new person, I always tell them my exact impression of them from the moment of meeting. When you speak with complete truth to others, it seems to produce amazing results.

Don't think. Just speak the truth that you believe to be true.. The person hearing you will immediately communicate whether he believes you are telling the truth. Once truth is used as thebasis of communication, a person has the right to say whatever he pleases. Try it. It works for me. May work for you. If they don't believe you are telling the truth they will never develop a relationship worth improving.

[dfiant]

I sat on this page for 20 minutes, not because it was a long read but because I fell asleep.

[pellaz]

ok here, a first step for you
volunteer for gay pride work

https://www.nycpride.org/volunteer

[Noname86]

Thanks!....that's a big first step...I'll see if I can get enough guts to go...lol

[BeautifulBlue]

I think the thing to remember about going into any gay-related situation is that you're just as much a person as anyone else. You should also remember -- any good part of the gay community will accept the fact that you're nervous and unsure if you're in that environment for the first time. When I went to a gay youth center here in Austin for the first time, the people there readily accepted me. Of course, I eventually stopped going because, in the city I live in, there tends to be some elitism within the gay community, but the organization is falling apart anyway due to the rash decisions of the people running it. The founder got kicked out of her own organization.

[judith4live]

...I'll see if I can get enough guts to go...lol