Help: Radical Lifestyle change

[Zet]

I have to make a change in my life. I'm not feeling down and depressed at the moment but I feel that most of my depressions have been due to the simple fact that it feels like I've stood still on the same ground for a very long time and I sincerely doesn't like where I'm standing in my life.

What I am only thinking and dreaming about is a major lifestyle change, but what I want to change it to is a bit blurry. My current goals is to move out sooner or later, to loose a hell of a lot of weigh, to become more comfortable with my self and to get a job, but everything around it is unknown like where I want to move, what kind of job I want to do, and my lack of motivation doesn't help a bit.

But i feel that if something doesn't change soon, I'm going to snap. This year, or these years (2011-today) has been the most emotional stressful time in my life, but also a time of self discovery.

I've had lots of ups and downs (mostly downs) and there was also a period when I almost committed suicide. I do only wish to be happy and to be what I believe and preach about... Love, peace and harmony instead of wallow in self pity and negativity.

I'm only seeking for advice how to do so, I mean to become the man you dream to be instead of being someone despise. To find motivation and inspiration when you have none but you know deep down that you have to find it.

[pellaz]

i have had lots of emotion in my life the last few years. Do something small even tiny for your self.

[zeon]

Hello Zet,
Now your dreams in life will come true but only you can make them happen.. I would recommend firstly looking for a job local as a first port of call even if it is working in a shop it is a start and a start to building your life... Make sure money coming in is set aside to the equalivalent of 3 months rent so that way you can pay a months rent in advance and have some money to pay for gas electric and council tax bills etc... Then wqhen this is done you can look around at properties to begin your future... Once you have moved in you wont have a lot of money and with renting you dont need to be there forever... Look after the place and make sure your desposit money comes back and look around.. Once your in your own home you will find things lonley probably at first but then you learn to cope with life on own... The situation are in at moment is habit and once you are out you have broken the habit and can move on with a point in the right direction as things appear clearer and when u do work... You take the shit with the shovel... If the day is bad at work see it through as eventually another day will be good...

Kindest regards

Aunty zeon xx

[Pix]

Take it one step at a time because when you focus on little steps then it's so much easier to keep improving and feeling a sense of accomplishment rather than getting discouraged until giving up as the entire goal wasn't met in one fell swoop.

[Rainbowmum]

i have had lots of emotion in my life the last few years. Do something small even tiny for your self.

^ extremely important advice.

Never forget to spoil yourself and reward yourself.
After all we are our own worse critics.

This blog always makes me stop and take a deep breath.

Link

[Bowyn Aerrow]

How do you do it? Well you just go out and do it.

If you need patience, you will find that you are put in situations that will test your patience - a lot. Why? Because we learn best through practice.

You need to sit down and figure out what you need in life (this is different than what you want) and then set a few tentative goals to achieve that/those needs.

I can't tell you what you need. I'm not you. Only you know what you need.

Careful - many people mistake want for need. For instance some think they need to be in a relationship - when in fact they only want to be in a relationship. Some thing they need a degree and a high paying job in life - well it was only a want and they discover later (often much later) that what they needed was a part-time job to keep a minor roof over their head so they could pursue painting, or sculpting, or programing or some other thing they really loved and actually needed to do.

How do you know what you need? That depends on the thing.

[dfiant]

Everyone has their life changing moments, it could be something as simple as meeting someone (Friendship or relationship).

My defining moment was sitting in the Haein Shrine in Kyoto Japan, a city of 1800 people per square KM. Just outside of the walls of the gardens that over look a pond there was 8 lanes of bumper to bumper traffic. Inside the walls was serenity and peace.

Life is like that. There is clutter, there is vicious cycles and there are ruts....and then there is a place where we can go in our lives where we find US. All you have to do is find that 'Haein Shrine' within yourself.

[avidcyclistMTB]

Zet, if you have the resources to travel, I would suggest giving it a try. Go somewhere where you are a stranger and drink in the culture. It can tell you a lot about yourself and maybe help you focus on what you want try and change first.

You might consider finding a job that is reachable by bicycle. That would be touching on both the job goal and the losing weight goal at the same time. Perhaps it would even guide you toward relocation as well.

Sounds to me like you are at a huge turning point in your life and you should be careful about forcing these changes too hard. The changes you make should feel natural even if there's some struggle involved. Some of the hardest changes I have made in my life have given the biggest rewards!

I hope this helps in some way and I wish you the best of luck.

[Nick9]

Zet, if you have the resources to travel, I would suggest giving it a try. Go somewhere where you are a stranger and drink in the culture. It can tell you a lot about yourself and maybe help you focus on what you want try and change first.

You can also find a job (maybe short time summer job) abroad and spend the earned money on traveling. There are a lot of people who work in Israel or in New Zealand, two of my friends spent several months up to a year in those countries. SE Asia for example is low budget friendly and you will meet a lot of young people traveling across the region.

[Zet]

Take it one step at a time because when you focus on little steps then it's so much easier to keep improving and feeling a sense of accomplishment rather than getting discouraged until giving up as the entire goal wasn't met in one fell swoop.

That is a reason why I am so motivation less. The small steps seem to unimportant, many and small while the entire goal seem often to impossible :redface: