Oh why thank you :3 wasn't expecting any replies, no, I haven't talked to a counsellor, I am confident and I've always been, it's not that, it's hard expressing my feelings on a paper though, it'd be so much easier if someone could read up my mind, heh. I had a grandfather but it's not the same, I've never been close to my grandfathers, because I didn't feel it. My problem is that I'm trying to find a father figure in every guy I talk to, I've got a lot of male friends but it's not the same, it's more like a brotherly affection. It's not only that, I find that father figure only in good looking guys, there's a slight physical attraction as well, for example, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a not so attractive guy. I tried to get rid of this feeling so many times but it just won't stop following me, it's stuck on my mind. I could easily live without a man in my life, I've been doing it so far but it'd be so much better with, yet I'm confused and dunno what to do. One night we went to a gay club, I've never got so much attention in my whole life, I liked it, but I kindly refused anyone. I found most of the guys quite immature and they were also kind of effeminate. And yes, I noticed that almost everyone was looking for sex. I'm afraid of starting friendships because I don't know how people will react, it's not like I can go to a man and start a conversation, that's so not me, I've got the guts but I've never done it and I don't see myself doing it. Haha, if you put it that way, I'm kind of scared, though it could be exciting, I cannot tell.
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Hello matey,
Firstly im sorry to hear about your dad leaving you and can relate to the whole situation as mine left when i was 2 months old as he didnt want to be a dad anymore... Now onto the issue... You say you are needing the company of a man and this is making you confused... You could be in the limbo of trying to make up lost time and connect with another male in a talking term.. The feeling your feeling is normal and completely understandable because when someone craves a certain kind of attention and they dont get it it can become highly fustrating.. I would say maybe give it a go at seeing what its like hanging with guys and see if this satisfies enough or if your on about sexual relationship etc then thats a whole different kettle of fish and to be honest whether a parent is there or not it doesnt influence your sexuality because its something we have had all our lives and some people are later blooming than others...
I think if you popped down to cardiff you would be alright.. I know that cardiff has loads of gay bars where you can go mingler with other guys not to look for sex but to just have a chat at the end of the day money is the same colour no matter what the persons interest at heart is... I visited Kings X when i was last there and it seemed a friendly little place beside the taxi rank i crashed into taking a drag act lol
Kindest regards
Aunty Zeon x
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First of all, you aren't gay, not even bi or bi curious. At the very least you are a straight but gay friendly man.
You are craving something that you haven't had. You are craving what you have seen your close friends grow up with.
You are craving for a father figure and there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that. I am also going to have a wild guess here, you are either the eldest boy or an only child in your imeediate family?
I am not sure if any counselling would help you, so I wouldn't even suggest that. If it's just a niggling feeling, learn to live with it for the time being. When you finish Uni/College and start a career/job, you could find a father figure in your workplace or something as simple as that.
There is absolutely nothing abnormal with your feelings. Your attractions to men are not sexual, they are purely platonic.
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I second what dfiant said. Only you can ever know for sure what your sexuality is, but from your posts, it doesn't sound like you're desiring a sexually intimate relationship with a man. Our society has a way of sexualizing everything and I think this can create a sort of neurosis in some that makes it difficult to differentiate platonic and sexual feelings. Society wants to tell you that if you're craving male attention, or a father figure, then you must be gay! Not so, sir.
I say relax and don't fret about trying to interpret and analyze what you're feeling. The simple answer is usually the correct one. If you're desiring a father figure, then you're probably just desiring a father figure
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Sounds like you need to put a bit more Yang in your Ying world... (lots of girls)
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It's true they're not sexual, yet I pictured a man holding me tight, dunno if gay people are attracted to arses, personally I'm not, I won't lie about it but I think I could even touch or kiss a man, it's not what I'm craving for but I honestly think I would do it if that person was special to me. I don't wanna learn to with live it, since it makes me sad sometimes, I wanna do something about it. I rarely think about it though, maybe once every two or three months, but when I do, I do get pretty sad. Now for instance I'm feeling low and I've got no one to talk to, that's why I googled 'gay forums' and I luckily bumped into this one.
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Ok what's your mum like? How do you get on with her?
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She's like the most amazing person on Earth. she's always been there for me.
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mile:
