Help

[lost]

Thanks for the help everyone, I'll heed your advices

[dfiant]

No, nothing MAKES you gay, you are born gay.

I understand that Singapore is extremely conservative when it comes to sexuality and I think that your up bringing has contributed massively to the way you feel, which is basically you are in denial.

Denial hinders growth, it represses you and every part of your life. You need to know, regardless of attitudes in Singapore, you family and everywhere else...IT IS OK TO BE GAY, and when you get to that point it is only then that you will find the truth of your sexuality and then begin to reconciled yourself with that SMALL part of your life and who you are.

Being gay does not mean you are going to be lonely. Gay men are equally capable of loving and find a life partner as a straight man, and the love shared is just as real.

http://www.fridae.asia/newsfeatures/2006...outh-unite
http://www.utopia-asia.com/tipssing.htm

TREVVY is not about changing the world. It's about being who you are.


TREVVY started out in March 1999 as a hobbyist website to connect the gay community in Singapore at a time where their presence was largely invisible. The pioneering site has since grown by leaps and bounds from its humble beginnings to become a leading gay media player in Asia. In 2006, TREVVY.COM was launched after a re-branding exercise that saw two highly successful parties with massive turnouts, injecting new life to the local clubbing scene.

TREVVY.COM is a community of over 120,000 registered users. The site counts renowned international brands such as Adidas, Nike, New Balance, Sony BMG, Warner Bros, 20th Century Fox, L'Oreal and British Airways amongst its growing slate of advertisers.

TREVVY.COM was awarded the Hitwise Online Performance Award recognizing it as the most visited gay and lesbian website in Singapore, as well as the Arts Supporter Award by Singapore's National Arts Council for its contribution to the local arts scene.

http://www.trevvy.com/

All the best, hope you hang around.

[Nick9]

Hi Lost,

I believe that even if you are gay and you decide to stay, you can be happy there. It usually isn't about the city, but about your closest friends. There are also lots of gay friendly places in Singapore - restaurants, bars, clubs. Unfortunately I learned about them only after I moved away from your beautiful city.

Watching gay porn doesn't make you gay. You were (are) probably attracted to any porn partly because it is a big nono in your family. Gay porn seems to be even "more evil" - more attractive.

Being jealous of your friend doesn't make you gay either. At that time the bonds with others (regardless if same or opposite sex) friends can be very strong.

Being shy with girls is also perfectly normal.

Don't worry about your sexuality *hug* No one can tell you who you are. You need to feel it, you can also slowly realize (it can take years) that you do like men and women equally. Don't try to solve this mystery today. Look for good friends and when you get to know them better and feel comfortable among them, you will feel less nervous, less alone and more confident. Then you may realize that your bond with someone is getting stronger and one-of-a-kind like.
Yeah, I admit I don't believe in crush. My relationships always built slowly from friendship. It just works for me better

Good luck and don't worry and don't look for your clear definition. You don't need one to be happy.

[pellaz]

your a gay man if you can carry on a same sex relationship with success. Has little to do with porn.

People who are unsure of their sexual preference often react negatively to gay men and women. Dont be this homophobic person but accept that everyone might be different.

Dont crush on a straight man. They have just as much a right to be their own person as you do. There are lots of gay men who will know exactly how and why they want to carry on a relationship with you. The more friends you have the better but friends are willing to support you and be there for you when you need them. A straight girl friend hag is a great friendship for a gay man.

The first step is to be out to your self. Once that is done dont let anyone make you come out unless you want to. In most cases close family; your mother for example, will already suspect/know your gay.

[pellaz]

welcome to gay speak and we would like to have you here for a while. So consider not deleteing your account. Every one should take precautions like:
-have your own user account on the computer you use
-always enable the private browsing mode
-disable browser history
-delete cookies when done, if the site doesnt do it for you.
-every one should have 2 separate internet browsers on their computer. Viewing gayxxx.com on one browser and use the other browser for everything like Google. This is better advice for people who do online banking and visit google or sites that track your habits
-all a mute point; there is a list kept in your home access point and your internet provider also tracks what you do. No one cares; so likely just dont leave the page up when the computer goes to sleep is all you need to do.
-use a unique user id and pass word for gay sites you visit
-The gayspeak site is based in the UK. It is unlikely anyone will look for you on a small english speaking international site. You can delete the text of your post after a while, dont leave anything up on any site that is not fit for public knowledge.