06-28-2012, 08:34 PM
Hello, I am Elfie!
I came to accept my sexuality during my junior year of college. I found out an online crush was in fact a woman and my feelings about them didn't change. She helped me realize that I was attracted to women also and it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it was quite liberating. I felt so good afterwards. I know I had been attracted to women in the past but I buried those thoughts in my internalized homophobia. My best friend was gay, not me! Well, I was wrong.
Recently I got out of a relationship with a man. I found that I had a great deal of difficulty in being comfortable with him, especially when it came to intimacy. Our one attempt at being more intimate triggered past memories of sexual abuse, and I felt cold, aloof and wanting out of the relationship even though he didn't do anything wrong. I realized I needed healing, and so I broke up with him. I plan on doing a lot of soul searching into who I am, why I am this way, and what sort of happiness I want in my life.
I came out to my parents a few years back when I got my first long distance girl friend. They accepted it but were definitely weirded out. I don't know what would happen if I brought a girlfriend home. It would be...awkward, but I have the right to do so if it makes me happy.
That said, I don't plan on dating any time soon. Although I don't have the same anxiety with women, I don't want to rush into another relationship. My last one was rushed, and well it just wasn't a good thing.
I think I've babbled enough.
I believe I was a Flapper in a past life (I have the memories) and love dressing up as one from time-to-time.
~ Elfie
I came to accept my sexuality during my junior year of college. I found out an online crush was in fact a woman and my feelings about them didn't change. She helped me realize that I was attracted to women also and it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it was quite liberating. I felt so good afterwards. I know I had been attracted to women in the past but I buried those thoughts in my internalized homophobia. My best friend was gay, not me! Well, I was wrong.
Recently I got out of a relationship with a man. I found that I had a great deal of difficulty in being comfortable with him, especially when it came to intimacy. Our one attempt at being more intimate triggered past memories of sexual abuse, and I felt cold, aloof and wanting out of the relationship even though he didn't do anything wrong. I realized I needed healing, and so I broke up with him. I plan on doing a lot of soul searching into who I am, why I am this way, and what sort of happiness I want in my life.
I came out to my parents a few years back when I got my first long distance girl friend. They accepted it but were definitely weirded out. I don't know what would happen if I brought a girlfriend home. It would be...awkward, but I have the right to do so if it makes me happy.
That said, I don't plan on dating any time soon. Although I don't have the same anxiety with women, I don't want to rush into another relationship. My last one was rushed, and well it just wasn't a good thing.
I think I've babbled enough.
I believe I was a Flapper in a past life (I have the memories) and love dressing up as one from time-to-time. ~ Elfie
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