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Introducing Your Resident Flapper
#1
Hello, I am Elfie!

I came to accept my sexuality during my junior year of college. I found out an online crush was in fact a woman and my feelings about them didn't change. She helped me realize that I was attracted to women also and it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it was quite liberating. I felt so good afterwards. I know I had been attracted to women in the past but I buried those thoughts in my internalized homophobia. My best friend was gay, not me! Well, I was wrong.

Recently I got out of a relationship with a man. I found that I had a great deal of difficulty in being comfortable with him, especially when it came to intimacy. Our one attempt at being more intimate triggered past memories of sexual abuse, and I felt cold, aloof and wanting out of the relationship even though he didn't do anything wrong. I realized I needed healing, and so I broke up with him. I plan on doing a lot of soul searching into who I am, why I am this way, and what sort of happiness I want in my life.

I came out to my parents a few years back when I got my first long distance girl friend. They accepted it but were definitely weirded out. I don't know what would happen if I brought a girlfriend home. It would be...awkward, but I have the right to do so if it makes me happy.

That said, I don't plan on dating any time soon. Although I don't have the same anxiety with women, I don't want to rush into another relationship. My last one was rushed, and well it just wasn't a good thing.

I think I've babbled enough. Smile I believe I was a Flapper in a past life (I have the memories) and love dressing up as one from time-to-time.

~ Elfie
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#2
G Day Elfie and welcome to Gayspeak.

Glad you are finding yourself and think its a great idea to take the time to heal before dating again Wink
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#3
dfiant Wrote:G Day Elfie and welcome to Gayspeak.

Glad you are finding yourself and think its a great idea to take the time to heal before dating again Wink

Thank you for the warm welcome. Smile

These past few weeks I was in an upheaval over what define my sexuality, now I realize labels don't really matter. I prefer women, but like men and I'm cool with that.

Believe me, the healing is a long time coming. The abuse happened when I was 17. I'm 26 now. So I have a lot of work to do, but its helping and that's what matters.
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#4
Hi Elfie and welcome to the boards.
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#5
Medic Wrote:Hi Elfie and welcome to the boards.

You live in Upstate NY too? Way cool!
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#6
Hello and welcome Elfie.Wavey
Welcome
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#7
Welcome! Wavey
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#8
Hi Elfie and welcome! Smile
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#9
Hi Elfie Wavey

Your name is so cute Loveya .

Your mind sounds very interesting... I think your colour is Jade.

Most people I come across, I give them a colour, usually based on their personalities[Like Nicky - the one above me - is Violet]. :biggrin: I usually don't tell them, but here you go Confusedmile: .

Welcome to Gayspeak! I'm glad you're on the mend Imu2
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#10
hi and hope u enjoy your time on GS, nice to have your acquaintance
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