06-30-2012, 05:14 AM
I'm a latent myself - 25 years old, and only now accepted myself as gay.
Doesn't get any more classic than my story.
I'm sure my dad is gay, and so is my brother, but they'd probably blow their brains out before they admitted it. Was raised Catholic, sex in itself was something of a hush-hush thing, let alone homosexuality. By some miracle I was never really homophobic (as opposed to my brother and dad), happened to get a good job away from my family, happened to meet some great people (mostly some of the girls that I was with before I "came out" to myself), had time to grow and reflect, and therefore gained the freedom to understand and accept myself.
Personally, it's been great - I still haven't even kissed a man, but just finally letting emotions and thoughts flow freely in my head - it just feels great!
But one thing is really freaking me out though. Once I recognised my own gayness and, more importantly, the world of lies and just general debility I had created in my head as a way to ignore the fact that I'm gay... I started noticing it all around me!
It may just be the company and business that I'm in - software engineering (where I'm sure it's 99.99% of your average level engineers), but even outside that immediate society, it seems to me that anywhere between 50-90% of men, depending on where you go, are really latent homosexuals.
I'm sure my gaydar is not yet fully operational since I literally _just a few weeks ago_ came out to myself, but it can't be that much off. What do you guys think?
But what's even more important - I feel that I can also tell you which of my ex-girlfriends were straight and which we're also latent. It almost feels that with them, the "love" we felt was really the safety we both felt from the generally-homophobic society by imitating a relationship, and a means to fool ourselves, to run away from our true nature.
I've told it to some of them, and they of course blow me off as crazy - but in their responses I can see the same exact lies that I used to live.
My intuition says, that even though I don't (at least yet) have a good "lesdar", it can't be just the men ... there's just a certain type of workaholic / in relationship with a latent homosexual / single in their 30ies / not even trying to date / etc, women that just strike me as good candidates ... what do you girls think?
It seems general knowledge nowadays between open minded people, that there's a lot more of gay men out there, and that that's what a lot of the homophobia is rooted in. But what about you, girls? What are your "lesdars" telling you?
This happened to be more of a question than an introduction
Anyway, glad to be here, hope we can have some fun here 
Doesn't get any more classic than my story.
I'm sure my dad is gay, and so is my brother, but they'd probably blow their brains out before they admitted it. Was raised Catholic, sex in itself was something of a hush-hush thing, let alone homosexuality. By some miracle I was never really homophobic (as opposed to my brother and dad), happened to get a good job away from my family, happened to meet some great people (mostly some of the girls that I was with before I "came out" to myself), had time to grow and reflect, and therefore gained the freedom to understand and accept myself.
Personally, it's been great - I still haven't even kissed a man, but just finally letting emotions and thoughts flow freely in my head - it just feels great!
But one thing is really freaking me out though. Once I recognised my own gayness and, more importantly, the world of lies and just general debility I had created in my head as a way to ignore the fact that I'm gay... I started noticing it all around me!
It may just be the company and business that I'm in - software engineering (where I'm sure it's 99.99% of your average level engineers), but even outside that immediate society, it seems to me that anywhere between 50-90% of men, depending on where you go, are really latent homosexuals.
I'm sure my gaydar is not yet fully operational since I literally _just a few weeks ago_ came out to myself, but it can't be that much off. What do you guys think?
But what's even more important - I feel that I can also tell you which of my ex-girlfriends were straight and which we're also latent. It almost feels that with them, the "love" we felt was really the safety we both felt from the generally-homophobic society by imitating a relationship, and a means to fool ourselves, to run away from our true nature.
I've told it to some of them, and they of course blow me off as crazy - but in their responses I can see the same exact lies that I used to live.
My intuition says, that even though I don't (at least yet) have a good "lesdar", it can't be just the men ... there's just a certain type of workaholic / in relationship with a latent homosexual / single in their 30ies / not even trying to date / etc, women that just strike me as good candidates ... what do you girls think?
It seems general knowledge nowadays between open minded people, that there's a lot more of gay men out there, and that that's what a lot of the homophobia is rooted in. But what about you, girls? What are your "lesdars" telling you?
This happened to be more of a question than an introduction
Anyway, glad to be here, hope we can have some fun here
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
...and I view myself as an individual who is gay rather than a gay individual...so the way I see other people around me is that they are individuals first so it may be a factor why the gaydar just doesn't kick in for me. 
