what's his trick playing on me?

[Pix]

I just remembered something an internet friend told me: her gay male friend had a relationship with someone online to the point that even though they hadn't met they were going to get married (*). As the time of the wedding got close his online lover revealed something: she was a woman! For some reason she saw herself as a gay man in a woman's body and the only way she could be in a fulfilling relationship was to get into one with a gay man online. So maybe you've met her (or someone like her). :o

(*Btw, which is more surprising: that 2 people who never met face to face were engaged to get married or that I was blown away by this concept? My friend thought there was something wrong with me for not realizing "it's very common." None of my real life friends see things her way and it just occurs to me to ask my internet friends now.)

ETA: Apparently I wasn't clear on what concept blew me away so here's a clarification:

I was referring to the idea that someone could get engaged and promise to marry without ever having met face to face. I can understand falling in love on the net, but before making such a decision it seems to me that one should meet to see if the chemistry is still there when together (which it sometimes isn't, even when both are exactly as advertised), as well as meeting friends, family (if possible), etc...and then there's the idea of moving in together, one is going to have to move, and even if that's easily done with no regrets living together in person (especially if there are pets involved, even more so if both have pets) is much different then communicating online. I just can't imagine getting engaged without ever having met face to face.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I side with those who feel this is a guy who wants to be friends (buddies) but doesn't want to take it to a higher/deeper level.

People have this terrible way of discarding others when they find that the other is not fulfilling the plan that they made in their head for them.

It seems humans are rather black and white about these matters. An example would be while looking for a lover/relationship we throw away perfectly good people who would make for great friends because we feel they didn't fit the role we wanted from them thus they hold no importance for us.

If you are having a good time being his friend, then do continue this sort of relationship. Instead of seeking to take him out on a date, figure out buddy-buddy type things to do and nurture the friendship.

And do let him know that 'just friends' is a good thing in your mind. That is if you can do 'just friends'.

If not, then you need to be honest with him. Either way honesty is the best policy.

[gayusasian]

I side with those who feel this is a guy who wants to be friends (buddies) but doesn't want to take it to a higher/deeper level.

People have this terrible way of discarding others when they find that the other is not fulfilling the plan that they made in their head for them.

It seems humans are rather black and white about these matters. An example would be while looking for a lover/relationship we throw away perfectly good people who would make for great friends because we feel they didn't fit the role we wanted from them thus they hold no importance for us.

If you are having a good time being his friend, then do continue this sort of relationship. Instead of seeking to take him out on a date, figure out buddy-buddy type things to do and nurture the friendship.

And do let him know that 'just friends' is a good thing in your mind. That is if you can do 'just friends'.

If not, then you need to be honest with him. Either way honesty is the best policy.

Thanks. Your advice always helps a lot.

On the other hand, he keeps on telling me that he wants to meet me.
Just not today, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow ....
Don't know when.

Maybe he just wants to hang me on. Lol....

[princealbertofb]

Any of the scenarios given above could be one of the reasons why he's putting the meeting off... what could also be the case is a great shyness.... and maybe very low self esteem. A fear of actually meeting. Do you know anything about the 4 previous boyfriends? This man is posing as someone who is experienced in relationships but maybe they didn't last because these boyfriends weren't really boyfriends? Maybe he's, as we say, "once bitten, twice shy", which really is a trust issue?

[gayusasian]

all 4 relationships lasted about 2 years.