whose fault?

[Nick9]

should i wait till midnight, then call him a jerk?

well, if you want wait just five minutes, just don't call him a jerk...

[pellaz]

you might not be datable?
never text some one and call him a bad name
sorry.

[princealbertofb]

To Bowyn Aerrow,
you know your boy well. you guys have been together for a while.

this is our first date. i didn't know what's going on.
should i wait till midnight, then call him a jerk?

No, you just ignore him... What's the point of calling someone a jerk if you're never going to see them again? Pointless.

It's like people in the street who are rude to other people they don't know... Pointless but hurtful, but unfortunately it says a lot more about you, which is not in your favour. Here I'm specifically referring to one of our members here who has disabilities and gets called names by total strangers in the street. It doesn't really fit the person the abuse is addressed to, but it says a lot about how intolerant and how nasty those name-callers are.

Being stood up is never a pleasant experience, but sometimes there are explanations that you wouldn't even suspect, and if you're patient enough to get them, then it might put your angst at ease. Your text sounds like poor timing to me... And I have to agree with Bowyn that texting does not convey the whole picture, it just buys you time...

Something like: " I don't enjoy waiting, I get nervous, but maybe you can't come right now, so let's postpone. Talk to you later.", would have been enough and got your frustration out of your system.

[princealbertofb]

By the way, if the 'relationship' is worth saving, I hope your apology will suffice to get things rolling again (if they are worth it), but otherwise, take stock of this incident and try to do better next time. After all, you didn't have a good feeling about this from the start, as you described in your first post.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

To Bowyn Aerrow,
you know your boy well. you guys have been together for a while.

this is our first date. i didn't know what's going on.
should i wait till midnight, then call him a jerk?

Your first date and you choose to assume the worst in him.

Midnight never showed up here, we are talking what 15 minutes, then 30 minutes - at most a full hour he was late and you are calling him a jerk.

When to call him a jerk, when his story doesn't wash or doesn't make any sense. being late at work is a reasonable story, especially in an economy where many bosses remind their employees that if they don't like working there they are free to leave, there are at least a million other hungry, unemployed people who would die for the job.

See I take into consideration that the world doesn't run smoothly. I know that bosses can be asshats, I also know that each day in the USA 16,934 car accidents are reported to the police, I also know that people die, get maimed, get mugged, get beaten with baseball bats because they are gay, or some other minority.

15 minutes, half an hour, an hour, hell even three hours isn't that big of a deal given all the potential things that could be taking place.

The problem here is you were very impatient and assumed the worst of him.

But it really doesn't matter. Your little pet name for him "Jerk" killed a potential relationship.

YOU need to buffer your emotions with a bit of sound logic. You need to learn not to fly off the handle when you are full of it. YOU need to give people the benefit of a doubt and and not rely on childish insults to get people to respond to you when you feel that you deserve an explanation when you want it.

And too, you need to stop using the telephone as a text-message device and learn how to dial and talk and more importantly listen.

[gayusasian]

I said sorry to him.
He never said sorry back.
I agree I had some responsibility.
But I don't think it's totally my fault.

I don't want a man that doesn't want to admit his mistake.
I definitely don't want him back.

And to Bow,
So am I supposed to wait 3 hours for every date I will have in future?
Without knowing whether he's coming or not?
How about having that kind of dates for 10 times?

[princealbertofb]

Well, all we can do is commiserate with your misfortune, GayUSAsian... Choose your dates better, perhaps?

[gayusasian]

all I can say is I still don't understand this country.
its people, its customs and rules.
it takes a long way to go.

[princealbertofb]

Maybe it's not the country itself but a bad assortment of candidates?

[gayusasian]

maybe.
a wise man told me that ' don't lower your standard, and be with someone who won't treat you well. '

I guess i will have to keep on looking.