Being gay, single, and LONELY.

[East]

Times have changed again old timers. We get families young these days. Stop being jerks and give us helpful advice on how to get a mate, not when, but how.

Attitude was everything in the "old days"...it still is. Work on yours and stop being such a jerk That really IS helpful advice but this thing about advice....You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink:biggrin:

Here is some other random helpful advice.

Whining about men and blaming everything on the other guys is soooooooooooooooo counterproductive.

Take responsibility for your own actions and your attitude toward yourself and other people will improve immediately.

Lose the self pity and the neediness...it will repel men...not attract them.

Do not talk about your ex or drone on about what is "wrong" with everyone...YIKES.

Dont' put other people on pedestals because of the way they look.

Do not idealize other people...let them be who they are. When they are not who you decided they were in your fantasy you will most likely get mad at them and blame them for it and not take any responsibility for your own part. That is maybe THE KEY to everything in relationships or even when you meet a man.

Do not try to control everything around you. You arent really in control so it is a colossal waste of time.

Take the time you are single and develop a good relationship with yourself so when it is time you have something to bring to the table.

I am 54 years old and have been in a very happy relationship for the past 26 years and before that three others...I have not had alot of single time in my life and I cherished what single time I had. Even though I am old and undesirable according to society...I STILL have guys try to date me and pick me up on a regular basis...happened yesterday as a matter of fact.

So consider my advice because I followed it myself and it has worked very nicely. In fact...I have not once complained about the man I am with to anyone nor have I ever trashed any of my exes to him or whined to him or anyone else about men being assholes and jerks (and I had my share of them.....scary ones too).

[gayusasian]

I think you are putting to much into the idea of relationship.

You are 19, so it is forgivable.

The problem with being alone is you do not have to be lonely being alone. Alone time - being single is a great opportunity to learn about yourself. Trust me, with only a year as an adult there is still lots and lots and lots of stuff to learn about yourself.

Yes - a lot of gay men are into the serial one night stand and other things. you can accept this and join in (play safe) or you can set your standards where you are comfortable and wait patiently.

You are alone and you think that being part of an 'us' will fix this. It won't. Sure it will feel good for a while, but if you can't be comfortable with the man in the mirror you will not be comfortable with a partner.

That "one dude" is out there. And like you he tired of the B.S. and most likely doesn't go to where the B.S. is.

find activities of mixed people (Straight and LGBT) such as hobbies like collecting stuff or hunting or hiking and join up with groups of people who meet face to face and actually do stuff. Aim for making friends. This is basically networking - you may not meet The One at that place, but your new friends will have friends and invite you to social affairs to meet new people and eventually you will run into The One.

i like your idea. I think it would work.

yes. i've been single and miserable for a while.
just lately i realize that i have to be happy by myself, then i can live a happy life with another one.

believe me, most people want some guidance from their partners.
try being comfortable to live a wonderful single life, would also help you lead a relationship. your partner would need you, as much as you need him.

you are still young. don't rush into a relationship, until you know very well what you want and you are prepared for that.