This is something that has been something that has been on my mind for a long time now, even before I came out to myself. But it's really came up a lot since then. I was raised in a very religious background and God and church were a huge part of my life. I even tried hidin behind religion and church work while dealing with my attraction to guys (so you can imagine the mindf**k I've been through with that one). But in the last few years I have doin myself a bit resentful towards God and anything church related. Is this "normal" for someone in my situation?
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I'm glad I wasn't raised religious (at least not an anti-gay one) as I think life would've been harder for me if I had been. I'm glad I didn't even go to a gay friendly Christian denomination because I'm the type who likes to read & understand and I wouldn't have been able to overlook the antigay passages of the Bible (just as I can't so much else, like the pro-slavery passages).
You might wanna try going to a Unitarian Universalist church as not only are they supposed to be gay friendly but they see the difference between dogma & spirituality and see the holy books (and even pagan myths) as inspired but ultimately flawed by human imperfections.
But in any case the god you believe (or once believed) in isn't real so I hope you can spare yourself the pain of thinking some imaginary superman has cursed you with homosexuality as a prelude to Hell. Being resentful against this imaginary being is like being resentful against Santa Claus because your parents refused to get you anything for Christmas as they thought your not eating your broccoli was bad...it's ok to be resentful against them for being so petty and dogmatic, but not against Santa because there is no Santa who judged you, only those acting (or so they believe) in Santa's name.
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Gee! Thanks Pix! That was...... :confused:
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It seems natural to feel resentment towards something that's been a big part of who you are (religion) but which has also been in conflict with another big part of who you are (attraction to guys). I'm glad I got over the conflict fairly early (by dropping religion altogether in high school). I never became a "strong" atheist (outright denying the existence of God), but rather I felt the whole argument was moot. We're all in this together, and bickering over which god is the right god or which dogma is the right dogma seems like a waste of time. It won't change what's happening here on this unfathomably tiny rock we call home. I like to think that whatever's going on behind the scenes is way more amazing (and, perhaps paradoxically, much simpler) than anything that any one faith has posited. So yes, the resentment is understandable and I know of plenty of people who bear it. But know that you have the power to make your faith your own, and it will be as valid as any other (subjectively it will be more valid because it's YOURS). You don't have to take anyone else's shit, because in the end, all of our shit stinks. And that should bring us together, not divide us. :biggrin:
*gets off of soapbox*
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The maybe was to pellaz
Miles -- that is one of the best answers I've heard so far.
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People can turn to or away form religion easily I find. There was a guy I knew at school who was very religious. He though that the bible was law. But I met him the other day and he doesn't want anything much to do with the bible. And I have other friends who have started going to church.
But being gay can be a bit of a faith shaker. Especially if you have been taught your whole life that you are an abomination. Sorry if I'm not much help.
~Josh
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I think feelings of resentment towards God is normal for a lot of people in a lot of different situations. I can't say I necessarily know what you're feeling as I was never really raised religious by my parents but the rest of my family is pretty religious. But I think it would be helpful if you tried to disconnect yourself from what you were grown up with, which will probably be difficult, and explore your own spirituality so you can establish a faith that doesn't give you those feelings of resentment.
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I don't know if resentment is the right word. I don't think God has cursed me with homosexuality or anything like that. Faith had been a thing I've struggled with for a long time. It's more of a questioning what I've been taught to believe rathe than just being angry at God. But like I said, this was something that I've struggled with for many years now, even while I was doing church work.
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