As a child I was attracted to the same sex and was mildly effeminate. In my early twenties I was very sexually active with men. I was in a 2 year monogamous committed relationship with another men. I was never happier in my life. I broke the relationship off because I was afraid that being gay would hurt my career advancement. I decided to become straight. I moved away to a large city. A woman I met at work were going out together and she considered me her boyfriend. I tried to satisfy her, but I was not attracted to her and felt trapped. I lied about my past to her. I did not want to hurt her feelings. I quit the job and moved 3000 miles away. I am very confused. I miss the man I had a relationship with. I am afraid I might still be gay. Am I gay?
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There's a possibility that you might be bisexual, given that you had a relationship with a woman, but given that you said you were not attracted to her and felt 'trapped,' I beleive this would not be the case.
It does sound like you might be what many consider 'gay,' but if that label makes you uncomfortable, you're more than welcome to not use it. Homosexuality is defined as the attraction to the same sex.
Honestly, nowadays, employers are NOT allowed to use sexual orientation as a form of discrimination to keep you from advancing in your career. That's where places like that ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) exist.
My advice would be to embrace what makes you comfortable and not conform to what you think is 'approved' or 'looked well upon' in society. In the end, YOU want to be happy, and if you're trying to conform to other people's standards, you're never going to be happy. Why? Because quite honestly, you'll never reach them. There's no such thing as 'perfection.' Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.
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You can't "become straight"....if anyone knows what a lie that is it would be you dude:biggrin:
I can tell you that you are gay but deep down you already know it.
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It is not possible for a leopard to change it's spots. So is it true with humans.
You were happy, then you weren't. That in and of itself should answer your question.
When we choose to wear masks, it boxes up and locks away the real us and we can not be happy. Yes, you are gay and should be proud of who you are. Love yourself first.
You were born that way and you can not change it. Your choices are thus: Be you and be happy, or wear the mask of your choosing and not be happy.
Best wishes!
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As has been said a few times now mate it does sound as if your Gay.
In now day and age it's not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of, it's taken many a year for me to accept myself for who I really am and I'm Proud of the fact I'm Gay, you have to love yourself before you can truly love others.
Employers can't be discriminant these days based on your sexuality.
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You said you were romantically attracted to a man, broke up with him because of you afraid of your sexuality would get you fired, you tried to be straight and got a girlfriend who you were not romantically attracted to and now you're looking back on it all.. The proof is in the pudding.
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