normality???

[pellaz]

we are all so different, one person's normal is so different. Remember being bi, straight or gay is only a sexual preference. Dont loose your self trying to re define what already is functional working, your the same person.

-Grow a supportive group of friends. often a straight hag girl friend is a superior asset because I am not so sure how gay men get along with other gay men out side being friends+.
-Look at the local lgbt center in your town.
-Take an inventory of your personal interests; book reading, hiking, theater, football, whatever and find that gay accepting group to join.
-Lots of cities have the gay bro area so become familiar with these streets, possible move, go shopping there.
-Sometimes I bail from work early, log into the office from the most gay coffee shop in town (i have a secure tunnel into work), with my earphones on and put in 2-4 hours there. Just a feel good treat for me.

[hank]

I really appreciate this forum, all of you kind guys out there. Lord knows I dont diserve it, the hate I used to have for myself translated onto people just like me but were able to accept this about themselves.

I have a lot of crow to eat, I am sorry for all those times my disgust for myself spilled onto those around me.

Thanks guys thanks so much for all of your advise.

[princealbertofb]

Hank, hello and to GaySpeak. I don't think I've had the opportunity to greet you before.

I know that, despite all the talk about the greatness of being different, we still aspire in some ways to be or feel normal within society at large and maybe within certain groups next. Today you are confronted with a new vision of yourself, and believe me when you start changing your mind set to saying to yourself: "I'm gay.", it does also alter your perspectives and your point of view.

I too, at the beginning started challenging my views and finding it a little unsettling to be living still in the straight dominated world but with a totally different mind-set. A mind-set that accepted that gay was just one part of who I was, albeit an important part, but which in fact jarred with quite a few things in the 'normal' world (ie heterocentric). All of a sudden you allow yourself to think outside the box, but you also start questioning a lot of things.
I daresay that gradually you will find your ground and grounding and will be able to stand on your own two feet with what you now believe in. Mostly you'll start believing in yourself, in your self-worth, and your right to be who you are. That's a little strange at first, but then you realise that you can (and must) be yourself.
So just wait for it, it'll happen, it's happening, some of it has already happened. It is, as Daz said, a journey. Make it a good and happy one. mile:

[mihai]

welcome to the forum.
Just try to have fun, do things normaly and stuff.
People will judge you only if you judge yourself.
This thing always works for me

[princealbertofb]

I really appreciate this forum, all of you kind guys out there. Lord knows I dont diserve it, the hate I used to have for myself translated onto people just like me but were able to accept this about themselves.

I have a lot of crow to eat, I am sorry for all those times my disgust for myself spilled onto those around me.

Thanks guys thanks so much for all of your advise.

Enough with the self battering. You have erred, ok and now you've understood where you've gone wrong. Time to make things right for a change. Good luck. mile:

[hank]

Enough with the self battering. You have erred, ok and now you've understood where you've gone wrong. Time to make things right for a change. Good luck. mile:

I am just taken aback by how forgiving lgbt is, the strength that takes, the solidarity. The amount of grace that is here, this has been very much a blessing. I feel like I belong completely to something.
Last month this would have been just a bunch of gays, but I see you as my community. I am quite humbled by it all.

I see you as normal people now because you are normal people. I guess I am seeing in clarity now the distortion is gone, I am just now letting my eyes adjust.

I think in metaphor sorry

But the warmth I feel is unlike what I feel anywhere else. If everybody could take a page from this book, life would be nicer

[Nick9]

hank I know what you mean, there was a time when I felt the same. Just be aware that LGBT people are normal They are not saint and all time loving. They can be jerks and can hurt you just as straight people can.

[fenris]

I want to say the same like Nick ... be always careful.... that someone wear the same cap don´t mean that he must be my friend

[hank]

I am cautious, always but I am glad I have taken this step

[azulai]

I once thought differently, but this is what I see. A man is someone brave enough to live his life the way he must. Makes no apology for being himself. And he never lets fear force him into silence. I just learned how to be a man.

I came out as bisexual, it is not easy right now, but life is getting better.

hank, I'm bringing this over from that other thread because I don't want to discuss that stuff.

Congratulations on making this step of coming out. It is difficult and very emotional. I can relate to what you are trying to say. It's the owning of yourself. It's the freedom.

After I came out I did go on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and second guessed myself. So, don't be surprised by the onslaught of emotions. But, you do find your balance. You do find peace.

Best wishes!