am I really bi/gay

[dfiant]

Hank, you are seriously in a rut...what do you want to control? control is not an illusion and control is not everything it is cracked upto be.

Take your life out of other peoples hands and put it squarely in your own hands because right now other people have control over you and you have allowed that to happen...STOP IT.

You cannot define yourself mate so stop trying. How you interact with the world around you is how you are defined, so forget about the labels, be the best person you can be, listen to your heart and remember this....FUCK IT

I do not want what I haven't got ;-) <---- don't ask questions...just think about that for a while mate

[dfiant]

you are saying I have to wait for it to hit me? How much damn longer must I wait love is all I ever wanted, I feel the possibilities slipping away, that is agony

43 years old and single...happy, content, self accepting, couldn't give a shit about what the world thinks about me, got a great bunch of friends, confident...did I mention I am single?

Yeah I would love to have someone in my life, it would be lovely, but these things happen when they are ready to happen.

Ask yourself this, how is love going to find you when you apparently don't seem to love, respect, admire, accept and embrace yourself?

[hank]

Ask yourself this, how is love going to find you when you apparently don't seem to love, respect, admire, accept and embrace yourself?

How do I love myself?? I know the question is silly, but it's an answer I am over thinking or it eludes me

[fenris]

Important is being yourself ...be the person you are not the person other people want to see in you or wants how you have to be.
I think you have to learn to be you .... you tried so hard to be the right person for others that you forgot to be yourself.
You have not to be perfect ... nobody is perfect ( except me *g )... allow yourself to make mistakes, to live your life... to feel your own feelings.... laugh about jokes you like.... and so on ..and you will find the person which you really are. And this person you can love mile:

[hank]

Important is being yourself ...be the person you are not the person other people want to see in you or wants how you have to be.
I think you have to learn to be you .... you tried so hard to be the right person for others that you forgot to be yourself.
You have not to be perfect ... nobody is perfect ( except me *g )... allow yourself to make mistakes, to live your life... to feel your own feelings.... laugh about jokes you like.... and so on ..and you will find the person which you really are. And this person you can love mile:

Thanks, I will start today.

[pellaz]

... bi male forum, their advise was always to whore around with men. I almost bought it until I spoke with dfiant here. I realized they were all closeted 40year olds lieing to their wives, and attempting to correct there mistakes through me ...

"attempting to correct there mistakes through me"
hmmm interesting concept, than dont trust anyone >40years old, serious.

When i was trying to figure gay/bi labels for myselft there was a bi men's lunch get together where i live. While attending I came to the same conclusion "they were all cheating on their wives" . Myself, the only gay man in the room?, didnt like the odor vagina.

-gay, straight or bi; it really dosnt matter, just hope the partner can return your love.
-I dont think porn or a trick, even a friend+ situation counts. It is really about your ability to be in a same sex relationship with success that makes you gay.

[Matty71]

I agree with what most people here are saying about labeling oneself. Not healthy or productive.

I myself have had much experience with women over the years (Hell, I've even been married before).

Although I can appreciate them as possible friends, I have zero desire or interest in sleeping with them or having romantic ties.

This is just how my life has worked out and it is different for every individual.

[dfiant]

How do I love myself?? I know the question is silly, but it's an answer I am over thinking or it eludes me

Fenris answered this question very well

[hank]

Thanks to all of you guys, I need to learn how to be myself, spent so many years being what everyone else wanted, so I need to learn

[zeon]

Hello,
All through life we change and evolve in various ways and make movements we dont really understand right up to our dying days even the simple things we take for granted... By the sounds of it your allowing influence of other people to play parts in your life and this could leaad to more confusion... If your unsure of various parts of life why not class yourself as bi sexual and if your not happy with a woman you can safely say that your emotions lie with a man... Being gay isnt about sucking dick or fucking some guy up the arse its about where your emotions lie. If we put our minds to things gay men can shag a woman and a hetrosexual man could have fun with a gay man... But our emotions dont allow us to and make it feel slightly offish... Best advice... Be yourself and be true to yourself without any fear or prejudice and no influence either its your life you gotta do what you feel is right and if it isnt least you can say Well i tried...

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon x