So I was talking to a long time friend and former supervisor at my job today and I asked humid he knew of any places for rent in this area. Let me back up and say that he is out but I've never told him that I even suspected that I was gay! So I told him that I was getting ready to leave my wife an he said he hated to hear that. I told him it was okay cause it was a long time coming. Long story short he ended up telling me he always suspected that I was gay. To say the least I was shocked. I thought I had "covered" it so well! LOL
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I think it's really hard to say, everyone has their "theory" of how a straight and or gay person "should" act. I've seen happily married "straight" guys have characteristics that I'd say were very gay (how they act, talk, interests, ect.), and then there are gay guys that have all the common interests of what straight guys have (in theory) and dress and act accordingly, yet they are gay. So... whatever your friend "picked up on" might have been just a small piece to the puzzle that made him think, but it might have meant nothing as well. Who knows, they say some people have excellent "gaydar" and can just tell no matter how you present yourself, lol.
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Still see a lot of posts at gayspeak of teens very nervous coming out to their parents. Just odd; parents after living with their child 15-20 years that he/he has to come out to the rents. Whatever, some people have gadar and some dont.
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I used to go to a fitness center that had a lot of right wing homophobes (one was even a church group that wore shirts advertising it when they showed up, either together or alone), and were huge fans of FOX. To drive the point home I overheard 2 women saying they avoided the sauna for fear of being molested by lesbians (and I'm a lesbian who uses a sauna, and naked at that, though not only would I not molest anyone or allow any to molest me, if I were they were some of the most unappealing women mentally & physically I ever encountered).
So to protect my membership (a false accusation of sexual harassment in the locker room or sauna would get me banned, no appeal, and might affect my getting membership elsewhere) and my safety (no explanation necessary) I made real sure no one knew or suspected. Though I had a girlfriend who wasn't very good at hiding things who sometimes showed up as well I don't think any suspected her as well. Going by how I was treated and how I was talked to I believe I succeeded. No one realized I was gay.
But unknown to me, at least one DID (who knows how many others?).
She said that she wondered because all the women tend to give cute guys a once over if not actively flirt (even if they didn't mean to go anywhere with it, and in retrospect I know many did flirt because I felt sorry for the male trainers the women requested who were flirted with mercilessly as they had to walk a fine line between not offending a customer and not doing anything that would get him fired), and yet she said if I looked at a guy it was at his face. No matter how fine he was (she's bi, she knows) I showed no awareness of how hot he was. She said I was only slightly more interested in women though at first she didn't consider it conclusive because lots of women give others the once-over (in judging them, not admiring them) and show minor affection and it may have been nothing sexual on my part.
But then she took a kickboxing class with me there which my girlfriend also showed up as. She said unlike me she (who was also a stud, though her being a body builder and martial artist didn't seem out of place there as it would elsewhere) DID scope out other women that was definitely making her gaydar blip. But more than anything she saw how close were were (even if it was mostly in glances and smiles to each other) and whenever anyone (male or female) tried talking to me she would come between us and dominate the conversation and she said she didn't even try talking to me (so in retrospect I have only the vaguest recollection of her having been there) because my stud was a bit "like a rooster."
Luckily she said nothing to no one and after I was single again and she invited me over I was shocked that she knew I was gay ("not even bi").
She had almost no contact with the LGBT community before me either. That's significant because she didn't even have other signs to detect our being gay (like both of us keeping our fingernails short and unpolished, something very good to do if you use your fingers in penetration a lot). The point being I'm not surprised that a gay guy was able to sense you even when you thought you were completely hidden in the closet.
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I just wanted to ask him what it was that tipped him off, but we were talking over IM and I want to ask a question like that face to face. I even told him there was more to me leaving her than I could say over IM and his response was "I think I have a suspicion already." I was floored! LOL
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did he see you pay more attention to other male employees / or glances to them, but with the women it was more brief n more buisness like ?? thats a good givaway thats hard to control
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Glad it is all working out.
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We had a really good talk and he told me if I needed to get out of the house he an his partner have an extra bedroom. I told him I would keep that in mind. But, with other developments from today, I might not have to be looking for a place. But that's another thread all together! LOL
