I don't want to?

[princealbertofb]

What you are saying makes sense, and I deff do not consider you a coward or anything.



I don't wish to be/not ready to be out, and see nothing wrong with remaining in the closet. (I'm 'out' to myself and myself only...as far as I'm concerned thats what counts really is no-one else's business)

Also where I live it would not be a good idea to be out..infact it would probably end badly if family/neighbors/etc found out...

But I think that's why there is this conundrum. As you say yourself, if you felt it was safe and nothing would come of it, you'd do it, and it would be easy, or as East says, a non issue.

The fact is that it IS an issue, at least where you live, therefore you are kept in the closet not so much by yourself, but by your environment, which, I guess, is why this is sad and a problem for so many.

Of course it's not so bad in the US as in some other parts of the world (like Uganda and Iran, even Russia, for example) but it's still a lot a stress for many. They prefer to keep it quiet just for that reason. To avoid annoyance and / or hate crimes, etc. basically just to make their lives liveable and not plain hell.

More than a question of cowardice, I think it's this great instinct of self preservation and survival.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Being who you are and NOT following the crowd takes a great bit of courage so no you are not a coward.
As far as bringing dishonor to the gay community NOT EVEN close there are those who are SOOOOO out they bring dishonor far more than you ever could, I speak of the extreme of course.
BE who you are is the best advice i could ever have gotten or could give

[santaberry]

Thanks guys mile:

[dtanner]

Sometimes I feel like if being gay also meant you possessed telepathic abilities, that other gays would read my mind and think I'm some sort of coward or bring shame to gays across the world. I know that sounds bizarre but it's just how I can express how I feel on the situation. I don't like being in the closet merely because I'm someone who holds strong to who they are and so a part of me feels ashamed that I'm not fessing up to everyone that I'm gay. Like I should be working to make a difference in the world for us all and using my passionate, loyal side to do good.

I don't really want to come out of the closet though? It sounds stubborn and scared but it's not. I just can't think of a better way to say it. So many important figures in my life have made me think twice about being in a relationship. Right now I'm just living my life for me. I am being a liar when I have to discuss my sexuality but I just don't want to deal with all of that yet. It's not because I will be ashamed of who I am. Coming out will just create all of this drama and a hurricane of feelings and for what? I won't be any different. I don't hide any sides of myself. If everyone found out tomorrow I was gay and was accepting of it... I still wouldn't do anything any differently in my life. No new behaviors.

I don't see me being in the closet as a bad thing. I just think in my past I may have been scared and missed the right opportunity to come out. Now I'm supremely comfortable with who I am. Gay or not. I don't want to come out until I have a reason to come out.

Opinions on this? Do I make sense? Am I a coward? Do I bring dishonor to the gays?

I feel the exact same way. I think ' If it ain't broke don't fix it' may apply here lol.

Sent from my LG-VM670 using Tapatalk 2

[ChadCoxRox]

Santaberry, Insightful post despite your ambivalence. The confusion and patience and reaching out will all pay off in creating the clearly wonderful guy you appear to be. Keep talking about it at your own pace and you'll probably have plenty of support to deal with whatever or celebrate whatever along the way right here on GS! mile: