What should I do about this conundrum?

[cantwaitfor09]

Well, there is this guy. Extremely good looking by the way. Me and my best friend (known this girl for 5 years, I don't know what I'd do without her) were eating at this restaruant, and he was a waiter. And he caught my eye right away. I wasn't sure if he was or not. I though mabey he was kind of looking at me too, but I then I thought I was just hoping rather than seeing, but I asked my waitress, and she said yes he was. So I know my waitress told him I asked about him, but I left my number for him when I left, and he looked at me and smiled. But the waitress said he was in a relationship, but they were having troubles. Anyways, I found his myspace page, and I emailed him telling him I see that he's in a relationship, and sorry to bother him. He was flattered and told me not to worry about it.

But I can't get this guy out of my head. He's extremely attractive! So me and my best friend went and ate at that restaruant again a couple of weeks later. And his section was on the other side of the restaruant from where me and Heather were sitting. But he walked out of the way right by our table to get to his section. Bla bla bla... So I emailed him again, and he said his relationship ended with his guy leaving him with no warning, no note, no goodbye, no nothing. All of his relationships have been like that. He said if he wasn't at a certain point of his life right now, he would go out with me. I read his blogs, and he has a hard time trusting men. All the men he has gone out with has screwed him over. So he won't go out with me right now because he is tired of relationships. But he doesn't realize every man is different! I have two questions, question number one is: Is this worth it? Should I even put effort into this? Or should I just walk away? (okay so that's 3 questions). Question number 2 (or series of questions number 2): If it's NOT worth, how do I get this gorgeus mofo out of my head? But if it IS worth it, then how do I go about it? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[spotysocks]

You guys seem to like each other and even though is based on physical attraction this is how things usually start and then progress further on how compatible you are.

The way i see it when someone gets out of a relationship that hurt him the best thing to do is to clear his head and reflect and get rid of any baggage attached. It is important to get rid of any negative thoughts though and realize that what we all do in life is moving on and trying to find what we are looking for.

I think since you really like him and he is now single you can give it a go and try to get to know him. Ask him for a date, a coffee or something more interesting where you can both have a good time out. Lay your cards on the table in the nicest way, find out more about each other and how good you match at take it from there.

[Shadow]

My advice ?

Trust is like a beautiful vase. If dropped it might shatter, or it might crack, but regardless of what's happened to it, with enough time, love, attention, care and consideration, a master repairer can put it back together again.

Since his trust in men has been understandably shaken, you could attempt to help him rebuild it - however you are going to have to demonstrate an ABUNDANCE of delicacy and patience to ensure that the pieces don't fall to the floor whilst you're working on them ... he's likely to be more receptive to the negative emotions at least at the outset, as his guard will be up, so you might find it a bit of an uphill struggle, but I've found from personal experience that, when people get to know me, they start to relax around me, and that creates a wonderful canvas upon which to base our friendship.

So I see no reason not to pursue him - perhaps just don't aim for being his b/f immediately - aim for being his mate and winning his trust, build up his confidence in you and see IF things naturally progress from there mile:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Enigma]

Remember the old Chinese saying "Softly, softly, catchee monkey"