I've been unfortunate enough to live in small towns all my life. I lived in a little place in Virginia full of people that wanted to hit me with Bibles because I'm pretty sure I was the ONLY lesbian in my high school growing up. There were one or two 'bi-curious' girls, but that was it.
Then, when I joined the Marine Corps (thinking I'd be able to get away and travel the world), I just managed to get stuck two states down in South Carolina. Near Parris Island. It's another small place, full of plenty of old people and too many Marines. I've been down here since December, and have yet to run into anyone else who's a part of the LGBT community. I'm only 20, so no bars for me. And I can't say I really enjoy dancing...
So, I'm just going to conclude that there's no hope for me. I just wish I could be a part of this community, meet a nice girl even. Has anyone else had to deal with this?
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I'm not out and don't really have much interest in the whole relationship aspect of human interaction BUT I was born and raised in a super small town (no stop lights even) which revolves primarily around religion. There's a bigger town 30 minutes south where everyone works/plays which I moved to 2 years ago. It's got it's pros compared to the smaller town cons but still it's not that great. The gays around here are all super promiscuous and kind of nasty from head to toe. So even with them around I don't feel much want to be out to them because I don't want to be automatically considered a part of that.
To be doing what you're doing and holding up well on your own you seem like a very strong individual. Try digging hard to find ways to be part of your community. Find causes you believe in and see what you can do that might help you bond with others. If you're with a group of people who all feel the same way about something (e.g.: if you were to volunteer for a certain organization) there's automatically something you have in common. You're pretty! Just let the romantic part fall into place. 
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santaberry Wrote:I'm not out and don't really have much interest in the whole relationship aspect of human interaction BUT I was born and raised in a super small town (no stop lights even) which revolves primarily around religion. There's a bigger town 30 minutes south where everyone works/plays which I moved to 2 years ago. It's got it's pros compared to the smaller town cons but still it's not that great. The gays around here are all super promiscuous and kind of nasty from head to toe. So even with them around I don't feel much want to be out to them because I don't want to be automatically considered a part of that.
To be doing what you're doing and holding up well on your own you seem like a very strong individual. Try digging hard to find ways to be part of your community. Find causes you believe in and see what you can do that might help you bond with others. If you're with a group of people who all feel the same way about something (e.g.: if you were to volunteer for a certain organization) there's automatically something you have in common. You're pretty! Just let the romantic part fall into place.
Ah, I understand that. I saw a couple of people like that a couple of hours from where I used to live. But I'm just so tired of being, literally, the Only gay person around. I'm tired of answering questions about "How do you know you're gay?" and "How DO you have sex?" Most people actually aren't rude about it. They're just ignorant of the subject. So I don't get mad. I just.. I really wish I could go to a place and be with other people who understand. So I don't have to spend my time explaining how everything works, but I can just talk to someone About it, and they already know what I mean.
I didn't enjoy prom. Hell, I didn't even date in high school. Actually.. I haven't dated anyone since probably.. Sophomore or Junior year, and that was a guy. And I remember telling him that I'm so sorry, but that I tried so hard to make it work and I just couldn't. I understand that a lot of us have probably went through the same thing. And yeah.. I've slept with a couple of girls since then, but I've never had the chance to feel a real connection with someone. One that lasts for more than a few weeks, anyway.
I'm sorry. I know I got a little off track there.. I just wish that I could be a part of a community, and I wish I had more opportunities to meet women. :/
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plan a short trip and get away to a warm beach someplace friendly (avoid Bermuda like paces).
there might be vacation buddy sites
start the FB page looking for someone too
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SOME small towns do indeed have a community. However you will not find many of those in the bible belt.
I live in eastern California (The Great Valley). It is very much like places like Virgina, lots of farm land, small towns, and if you hit a tree lots of right wing conservatives fall out. We are tempered (Slightly) by the big cities of the Coast, L.A., San Francisco and Sacramento. We have to drive 80+ miles to find lots of bars. The closest bar/club for LGBT is in Modesto, and it is a stand alone place in the really bad part of town (Modesto is pretty bad to begin with).
Most rural LGBT tend to find themselves by traveling to the nearest 'tolerant' city and going to the bars, clubs and the like there. They hook up with other LGBT from their area and build their own communities where social activities tend to be more 'at home' type parties and social gatherings.
Here in the rural parts of California we tend to have a huge lesbian community. Most of the gay males have runaway to exotic places like San Francisco, L.A., New York City...
There is/are most likely a lot of lesbians in your neck of the woods. Lesbians tend to be able to keep it on the down-low and not be harassed for being a 'Tom-Boy'. Unlike the unlucky slightly effeminate male who is targeted immediately.
Since you are just 20 you are in no place to give up just yet. In another year you will be 21, thus the bar option will open up for you.
I would suggest looking up on the internet for Gay Travel ____________ That blank is the nearest large city too you or midsized town.
There are places out here which have a large visiting gay population, 'resorts' and 'campgrounds' and small towns which are gay friendly to tourists thus attracting gay employees and residents.
Russian River (near the coast) is a prime example. It was primarily a uber-conservative community that the LGBT slowly took over. Took it over for vacations, and slowly LGBT moved in to star bed and breakfasts, hotels and other such things. Now its largely a small town gay community.
You might have such near you. The trick is locating it.
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pellaz Wrote:plan a short trip and get away to a warm beach someplace friendly (avoid Bermuda like paces).
there might be vacation buddy sites
start the FB page looking for someone too
Excuse me Pellazy... That's my home you're talking about. There are actually a lot of Lesbians down here, who are open and proud, far more so than the males.
And Bermuda is actually the more open-minded and tolerant of homosexuality than places such as Jamaica.
That's like me saying I won't visit America, in fear of getting shot or that all Americans are impolite people who do not say good morning in passing or are all a bunch of theives... Every place has it's faults. We're not perfect down here, but we're not as bad as common misconceptions make us out to be.
I live here and I have quite a few gay friends, mostly lesbians. So we do have gay people here.
Don't generalize sweetie 
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There is a documentary discussing about this, "Small Town Gay Bar".
Hope it can help you.
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Hmm.. Okay. So, I'm leaving in September for Japan. I'll get back, plan a trip maybe, and in a couple months I'll be 21. Would it be bad to go to a gay bar alone?? I don't have anyone that would be willing to go. I don't want to feel awkward..
And speaking of.. I wonder if there is any kind of community where I'm going in Japan... I'll have to look into that, too.
Thanks about the documentary. (: I'll definitely look that up..
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dont say no hope at 20 Brooke , look at the change in life youve made already just by joining the marines, and like you say, your already goin to other places soon ,,,, as for goin to a bar alone - just go for it, view it for what it is - goin to a bar to chill out and have a break from work. nobody will be looking at you thinking wow, there's a lesbian out on her own .. just forget anyone else and just chat to the bar staff first then if someone comes along maybe even to say hi to then brilliant - just dont get bogged down by others opinions,, lifes too short - enjoy the moment
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I grew up in a small, conservative Mississippi town (though I'm originally from SC), I never knew any LGBT people growing up here so I really understand the feeling. My father is a conservative, evangelical minister here. I've only recently come out actually, and the main way I've been meeting other gay people is online, people all over the world. It's been hard to meet others around here, but I kept trying and joined a lot of different sites and eventually found a couple near here, and found out my area does kinda have a small gay community. Just keep looking, I think most towns have gay communities even if small, sometime you just have to try to find them. Good luck, and hope you enjoy Japan.
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Is there even a community in small towns???
