Desensitization through Mastubation

[LateBloomer]

LateBloomer is right. Dan Savage has mentioned the "death grip" phenomenon before in his articles, and I think it's true.

I have.....issues.....climaxing with a partner sometimes, but I think it's more of a mental thing, though. I think how and what we masturbate to *absolutely* influences our responsive when with a partner.

Slight tangent here, but Drew, are you aware of the term "spectating"? It's a form of "performance anxiety". Rather than fully submitting ourselves to the whole experience (and our partner) we kind of take the attention off our partner and put more attention on ourself. We become "detached" from the heat of the moment as we mentally "step back" to observe (and then usually GRADE) our performance.

Been there, didn't get that orgasm...til I jacked off later.


Much better to lose ourselves in the passion of making love to our partner.

[princealbertofb]

...
But I do have a problem with the word "desensitization" of the penis.

In my experience (I was a 35 y/o virgin and only masturbated until that age), the problem was that I "trained" my penis (actually brain) to only climax from MANUAL stimulation.

In other words, when I was with women, I had a difficult time achieving an orgasm vaginally....and later with men I noticed the same thing anally.

I had to retrain my penis (brain) in order to climax from something other than my tightly clenched fist, which, let's be honest, is quite a different sensation than both vaginas and anuses.

More to the point, your penis is JUST AS SENSITIVE after a lot of masturbation, BUT THE RISK is conditioning it to respond better to your hand than to other forms of stimulation.

Much better to explore to the whole gamut of sexual sensations than to have one form or method or style dominate your experiences.

Good luck.

After 18 years of celibacy (and still quite a lot of time on my own) I have found this to be true... It eventually worked out, after the retraining of the brain.

I'll admit that masturbation (for all its great uses) is much less a pleasurable form of experience (for me) than intercourse with my partner, which is why it was worth while working on it. Masturbation still has its clinical (and horny) uses: keeping the piping piping!